Taking a stroll down the sidewalk one day, I realized that the sky seemed to be very dull. It was even more lusterless then it normally was this time of year. I can honestly declare that the weather was dreadful, indeed. I decided to take a walk across the park, why on such a day, I shall never know. But why I decided what I did is not crucial, or relevant. What is most important is that I did it, and consequences arose. I was walking at a minimal pace and found myself lost in thought. I paused for a moment, when two young boys came into view. They were playing with toy guns. What I was thinking at that moment I cannot quite recall, but I felt a sudden uneasiness while watching the boys and decided to walk on promptly. As I had begun to walk, I heard a gunshot. I quickly looked behind to see one boy lying on the ground, the other with a panic-stricken look on his face, holding the gun, and staring down at the child who lay there dead. The mother was lying over her son in tears and with pain, and the heartbreaking look on her face I shall never forget. I was long gone before the ambulance arrived. Sometimes things happen because of reasons beyond our control. Other times, they happen at our own doing. Whether or not it was out of my reach to alter the terrible outcome of what happened at that moment, I am not quite certain. Although, I’m almost sure that it wasn’t my fault. My mood, after that appalling event, wasn’t the greatest. It made me smile to see a contented family seated on a picnic blanket… a father and mother having lunch. Their children were present also… though playing with plastic, pretend food. My smile was, unfortunately, short –lived. I noticed the father trying to bite into a plastic sandwich and the mother unable to consume her plastic chip. The children were eating their [only too recently plastic food] just fine. I walked on much faster this time, as I was feeling entirely out of place, somewhere entirely out of order. I came across a statue, of a horse and rider… I noticed that it looked more real every second that passed and when I turned to leave, I heard behind me clattering hooves. Somewhat, if not entirely, disassembled I headed back to my apartment, trying very carefully not to pay too much attention to anything in particular. I called a taxi; and I was able to get one rather quickly despite the weather. Once I was seated in the vehicle I realized the seat was getting harder and harder every minute that passed. I stepped out to see a very large toy car, and almost on cue it began to rain. I’ve heard it said that chaos can sometimes be beautiful and, indeed, I think it can be. But this was far from beauty. This was insane. I looked on my hands at the rain drops to see them hardening and looked up to have plastic beads fall in my eyes. I began to run but stopped as I looked into a bedroom, which appeared to belong to a boy of around 8 or 9. I saw tiny little animals on his window sill, alligators, dinosaurs, cats, birds… The glass in his window shattered, I covered my face instinctively, but by the time I got up the nerve to lower my arms the life-size animals were already on the move down the road, causing other vehicles to crash. Seeing the door to my apartment complex I ran as quickly as I could, tripped up the stairs to my room and slammed the door behind me. I thought a moment, and tried to regain my composure. I must be dreaming… It has to be a dream. This isn’t possible. My attention was diverted to, of all things, the roof of my apartment. It vanished and I saw a giant child looking down at me. I was too stunned to scream, but my jaw dropped in awe as I saw her reach down to pick me up. I looked at my hands; only to see myself turning into plastic as well. I looked down to see her removing my clothes and replacing them with different ones. As well, I noticed my figure was much nicer now, and my hair much longer. I then realized that I had transformed into a doll. As I was unable to move or talk, I started to lose my train of thought and for a very short time experienced a pain too deep to describe. I think it was when I realized that I had absolutely no say in this world. Then, soon enough, I was unable to think and in a state of nothingness. In this world, there are so many distractions. Things that seem so innocent can be so deadly. A smile on our face from a joyous moment can quickly be wiped away by a sorrowful one. Things that seem so artificial today can be so real tomorrow. Things that we think we can trust suddenly become useless. Things we entertain ourselves with can turn on us in a second. Our home, our sanctuary, can be deemed unsafe. When we think we have nothing left to lose, our soul can be taken away. We lose ourselves and are lost in emptiness. Living in the world that we do, we must be careful to stand for what we believe in while we have the ability. Because we do not realize how swiftly it can be taken away.
Taking a stroll
February 27, 2008