The most painful thing I have learned so far is that I do not have to grow up so fast. It seems like ever since I was younger I was in some big hurry to grow up. I wanted to be cool, know everything, have a boyfriend, and just be on my own. I have a great family, and it now hurts me so much to see the damage I caused on my family, and myself. It seemed like for a while the older I got the more rebellious I became. I started treating my family badly and found out the wonders of partying, I stayed out past curfew, started drinking, having sex, trying drugs, smoking, getting bad grades, and ditching. Everyone around me could see that I was heading down the wrong path especially my mom, since she made the mistake of having me too young, and messing up in high school. I was just naive and could not admit I had a problem, adding to this nightmare I met Micah, my now ex boyfriend. I was pretty sure I knew what love is, I am 18 and when I was with him I was 16 and he was 19. That also started to change me, I grew far, far apart form my family and close friends. I wanted to drop everything and move in with him! I seriously wanted to drop out and start a life with someone at 17! I now see how very stupid I was. I started to get in trouble with the law drinking and curfews. I learned that this was very painful for me because even my little brother looked down on me. I am suppose to be the one he looks up to, and want to be like me. I feel like I was just a big let down, and a bad influence. I soon opened my eyes and realized what was going on with me, my parents really helped me through this, I got my friends back, broke up with Micah, turned my grades around, got put into alcohol classes, and rebuilt my relationship with my family. I am still getting through this, it has been hard but I believe my life can be back to the way it was, even though I know some of the damage on my family and I is already done, but from this we can only move forward. I feel very grateful from this experience, because what matters to me most is my family, and where I am going in the future.
Don't Grow Up Too Fast
December 5, 2007