My question is why. Why do some people do the things they do? Rumors are pointless. Why twist the truth? Rumors ruin reputations and friendships. Why would anybody want to do that? Why?

Hopefully everyone has at least one friend that they feel like they can trust. But can you really trust that person? I thought I could. Obviously not.

Friendships are something that I take very seriously. I put my full trust in my friends until they do something to break it. I never thought I would have a friend that would break my trust this badly. He did and now I'm one friend less. Actually, if I count the people that the rumor involved I'm 4 or 5 friends less.

I try to make the best choices I can in life. Friends are one of them. I thought I chose my friends wisely. I guess I'm not that wise. The betrayal I have experienced in my so-called “friends” makes me emotionally and physically sick. I felt a gnawing in the pit of my stomach that made me get sick to my stomach.

When I think of them and what they've done to me, I get weak in the knees and my eyes well up with tears. I hold back my tears so nobody can see my pain. The pain that I feel like is evident to the whole world, but nobody knows how I feel but me. I'm alone. I know in all reality I'm not, but after this betrayal, I certainly feel like I am.

Why would he twist what I said to turn them completely against me? I never said anything remotely close to what I was given credit for. Now they think I was never their friend in the first place. If they will believe someone they aren't that close to over a “good friend,” then I guess we were never really true friends in the first place.

I guess I just don't understand the reason why.

As I cry myself to sleep night after night, I do my best to wake up the next morning singing, “I'm not gonna let it get me down. I'm not gonna cry. And I'm not gonna lose any sleep tonight. Because tomorrows another day, and I am not afraid. So bring on the rain.”