The Impoverishment of a Big Love

February 4, 2009
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How could you miss someone the moment you say goodbye after time with them, or yearn for them so much that you feel like breaking down, and not be experiencing love? How could someone occupy your mind just about every second of the day, from the moment you wake up to the moment you fall asleep and not be in love? How could you cherish every single second with them, yet never be bored and how could time proceed so quickly when your in their company? Or how can it occur that you unintentionally relate everything to that one person, such as movies and stories and even pretend you are that girl in love, in that romantic tale, The Notebook, and hope for that very same 'happily ever after' ending? How can you feel as though the world only revolves around yourself and that one person, where no one else could ever matter when you're alone with them? Why else would you put them in front of your friends? Or go out of your lengths just to see them? To spend even the most briefest moment with them? Dedicate just about everything to them? Smile from just the thought of them? Laugh from a good memory with them? Engrave their name besides yours in places, to mark your love physically? Show your affections publicly? Feel like complete happiness is in your favour? And why else would you give them your all, your everything- and most importantly, your heart?
Well,
It is all because of love...and I am in love.
And honestly, according to my above experiences,
how could I not be?

When your young, you look for the fun in life.
When you grow older, you start to become more cautious and mature.
I'm half way between both with this one.
There's the silly 'us', and the serious 'us'. The 'us' that knows how to laugh, to joke around, and the 'us' that knows when to act mature, and really express the way we feel. The 'us' that will play a symmetric dance with our hands, tell stories about 'butterflies fluttering' and the 'us' who accentuate the word 'yay' and find it amusing. And then there exists the 'us'. that will lie in the dark and listen to The Isley Brothers or relax under that tree behind the lamp post in Queen Victoria Gardens, expressing how strongly we feel about one another. And that's what I love about 'us'. While we're in a serious relationship, we still know how to have an incredible time together, and even act as though we're little kids, 'bagging' other people, making lame jokes, and quoting random things, such as 'sillehwillehwonka'.
And whilst we're fine with our young age, we cant help but be excited for that settled down future, and for those experiences to share together as our lives progress.
We get the best of both worlds, and our realities and dreams allow this to happen.

A normal relationship is not perfect.
Relationships are not always happy.
They can be upsetting, challenging, disturbed or awkward.
However, that is the reality.

No two people are the same.
And disagreements arise because of those indifferences. So that is when arguments occur. That is where people fight. And as all couples go through, we've had our fair share. But it is true, at the end of the day,
the cause of the fight is all in love.
Maybe that person committed some kind of infidelity, but why exactly is it that we fight, that we go against one another? It is not because we want to, but because we care so much, because we love each other so deeply and sincerely, that even the smallest things can be exaggerated into a row, into an argument, a screaming match, or an infuriated conversation, if you like.
It is these things however, that make a relationship stronger. We make mistakes, we learn from them, and in turn, we strengthen one another. Even the willingness to forgive, to keep fighting for such a person, is again, proof of real love.
And exactly, how I know that I love him.

As with individuals,
No two relationships are the same.
And whilst one may give us advice or beliefs about a relationship, based on their past experiences or knowledge, one will never know unerringly what goes on in another. And therefore, can never be precisely accurate about their own theories whilst advising others.

Through our fate, it just so happens that some relationships are harder than others. Why? I can't say. It's like asking why there are starving people in the world? Why them?
Everyone has their misfortunes,
this is just ours.
Although factors around us make 'us' a challenge at times,
what we share together just feels so right.
And when something like this feels so right, and is something that is desired so incalculably, you know deep down, that regardless of how challenging it may become, you just have to grasp that strength in your relationship and hold on to what is truly yours.
Love is where you have to be selfish agaisnt the world.
But in all selfishness obviously comes sacrifices. The loss of friends, differentiating opinions, the respect of society, for example. However, if this love is the one thing that means the most to you-the one most important thing in your life, these sacrifices are in fact minimal. Which is one of the many aspects of love. And again, proves my true love for him .
I'd sacrifice everything just to have him in my life in the position that he is.
And I'd do anything,
endure everything,
just to maintain that security that sustains my heart.

True Love is something SO big, that even those aspects in life that are considered valuable, can be impoverished against it,
hence my title,
'The Impoverishment of a Big Love'





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