Differing From the Norm

By
I knew I was different when I was just seven years old. At the time I didn't know how I was different, just that I was.
At the time, Titanic was my favourite movie. I enjoyed the story line, but I also was slightly obsessed with the character Jack Dawson, played by Leonardo DiCaprio. Many young girls pined over this character, but I was the only boy who did so.
Eventually this obsession passed, and I went on with my seemingly normal life. Until I hit puberty. Rather than fantasizing about attractive women and female celebrities, my thoughts were centred around muscular, charming men. At the time, due to my sheltered upbringing, I had never heard the terms "gay" or "homosexual" or even "straight" or "heterosexual." As far as I knew, all men liked women and all women liked men and I begun to feel there was something extremely wrong with me. So, I did my best to bury it.
As I entered high school, I became real involved with a local church. I preached the occasional sermon, played lead roles in the theatre presentations, and planned to enter into the ministry. It was hear I first learned that other people struggled with the same issues - and that I first heard not only was it not "normal" but it was a sin.
I prayed and fought the urges, to no avail. The pastor's son was a close friend of mine, and I found him to be exceptionally good looking. Every time he came near me, I went weak-kneed, no matter how hard I tried to keep this from happening. I left the church.
I came to the realization that either God was not real - something I could not bring myself to accept, or God had made me gay. Either way, there is nothing wrong with it, it is part of who I am, and I should quit fighting.
And thus began the process of coming out of the proverbial closet. I began going to youth group meetings for gay youth at a supportive local church, sat down with friends and family and informed them, and became an active supporter of gay rights. Several bridges were burnt in the process, but more were built.
I am not your normal teenager. I break stereotypes and stand for what I believe in. Discrimination does not phase me. My life is my own, no one has the right to tell me how to live it nor judge me for it. I am who I am.





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ellabella said...
Nov. 9, 2011 at 7:26 pm
This was beautiful :). I support you the whole way.
 
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