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Mom, I’m Gay This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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     I remember that day when I proudly stated, “Mom, I’m gay.” I felt liberated - until I realized that she wanted to push me out of the car. Liberation, all right. Good thing I wasn’t liberated from my seat belt.

I’ve always been one to test the waters. Sometimes the outcome is good, like admitting I’m gay, and sometimes the outcome is tragic, like that haircut in third grade.

I decided to tell her that night because she was mad at me already. Yes, and my parents call me the smart child. I felt the need to test the limits again. Besides, how much deeper could I dig myself?

Well, it turns out, pretty far.

“Mom, I’m gay.”

The car swerved to the left. Honk. Then to the right. Beep. As she straightened out, I realized I had just blabbed the secret of a lifetime; some people keep this inside their whole lives while I blurted it out on a car ride to my therapist’s office.

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” I responded, just for the sake of contradicting her. “Look, I’m going out on a limb to tell you. It’s not easy for me.” Well, there it was. It just came out. Once I got going, it was pretty easy.

“I just want you to be normal. Don’t you want to be normal?”

“I do! This has nothing to do with being normal!” An argument. Things were getting interesting.

“Then fix it. Don’t be gay!”

Oh, if I could have screamed, I would have! Fix it? There’s nothing to be fixed! Toilets need to be fixed! My sexuality? Nope! Being gay isn’t something I could do anything about. I was mad, so I huffed and puffed in silence as she drove, white-knuckled, down the highway.

At the therapist’s office, I bawled about how unlucky I was to have a mother who lacked understanding, was uncaring and was a bad driver. The therapist called my mom in, saying the three of us needed to talk. I sensed a fiasco.

Mom walked in with a fake smile. I wanted to tell her to wipe it off, but that wasn’t what we were here for. She sat next to me and I started analyzing her every move. Okay, she sat down next to me. That’s good. Extra long blink. Not good. She doesn’t even want to look at me. She’s shifting in her seat. She’s uncomfortable. Or maybe she’s trying to get closer to me. Or farther away.

“Hello? Earth to you, dear.”

“Umm.” Perfect. I felt like an idiot. My therapist was being paid huge amounts of money to hear me say umm and analyze my mother’s every move? I was so busy looking at my mom that I’d completely missed what my therapist had been saying.

“I think you know that Mom loves you no matter what. And Mom, this isn’t an attention thing. I’ve known this for a while. It’s no big secret.” Well, not anymore!

We went home that evening pretending nothing had happened. I was careful not to distract my mother.

And today? Well, we’re getting along. I’ve learned to love the fact that I like girls and am secure in my sexuality, I’ve been able to tell other people. I’m not ashamed anymore. It’s who I am. Just like I’ll always mismatch my socks, I’ll always have a weakness for underwear shopping and hazelnut coffee, and I’ll always like girls. My mother may not exactly love it, but she can deal. But just wait until I bring home my first girlfriend!

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




Join the Discussion


This article has 186 comments. Post your own!

Hart said...
Mar. 20, 2011 at 9:56 am:
I believe homosexuality is wrong, but I don't discriminate against someone because of their orientation.  I just try to avoid the topic.
 
Brittbyheart replied...
Jun. 7, 2011 at 10:44 am :

They did not say they hate them, thay just dont agree. (personaly, I am all for homosexuality, I have nothing agenst the people) But I also believe that obama shouldnt be preseident, but I never go starting fights about it. Not that im agreeing with this person, I dont believe in judging a person by their sexuality

 

 
qwertyqwerty123 replied...
Jul. 2, 2011 at 7:15 pm :
look, hart. im sick of your comments on this! you are totally posting your views on homosexuality, and this is not a place to do that. this is a place to give feedback to the writer on their writing. it's not an opinion article. just leave the topic alone because you are just acting like a jerk, not providing constructive criticism.
 
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Lissabelle116 said...
Mar. 18, 2011 at 8:18 pm:
I am religiously against homosexuality, but I don't let that cloud my judgement.  You need an attitude adjustment.  TOLERANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Sythan replied...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 12:28 am :
I feel so sorry for you, pick up a science book about Homosexuality and read it.
 
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imnotgayandproud said...
Mar. 18, 2011 at 7:54 am:
true dat  !
 
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Lissabelle116 said...
Mar. 18, 2011 at 8:18 pm:
I am religiously against homosexuality, but I don't let that cloud my judgement.  You need an attitude adjustment.  TOLERANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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MiaMonster said...
Mar. 19, 2011 at 1:19 pm:
why hate? its not your problem. god some people are so ignorant. 
 
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Hart said...
Mar. 20, 2011 at 9:56 am:
I believe homosexuality is wrong, but I don't discriminate against someone because of their orientation.  I just try to avoid the topic.
 
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Carabear said...
Mar. 31, 2011 at 10:23 pm:
This is a place for teens to air their feelings and experiences, not for you to smash down their self-esteem, if you can't accept what different people think then leave the site!
 
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Hart said...
Apr. 1, 2011 at 2:55 pm:
My religion says that it is wrong.  I don't hate homosexuals, i just don't think they are correct.
 
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BrielleM said...
Mar. 11, 2011 at 7:00 pm:

I appluade you for your bravery! Nicely written article.

For all the people who are leaving idiotic comments: Just stop. No one cares. Stop being so pathetic, sitting around and insulting someone who is clearly better off than you, considering she's published in a magazine and you can't think of anything better to do than sit here and make fun of her for being far more intelligent than you. Way to go, winner.

 
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Anthony1414 said...
Mar. 11, 2011 at 11:24 am:
Why did you choose to write this? It's a good story and it was good to tell your mom, but why?
 
LaurennnnThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 19, 2011 at 1:16 am :
I'd say it was because she wanted other people to know that it's okay to be gay. She wanted to let them know it's nothing to be ashamed about. She wanted to let them know that everything would be okay. It was touching. I went through the same thing. It's a GIANT deal. Coming out is huge. And it's brave. I got kicked out when I first came out to my parents.
 
rEMEMBERtHErIOTThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 21, 2011 at 1:39 pm :
why shouldn't she write this? she did something that a lot of people will never have the guts to do. Why not be proud of it?
 
Nicovera replied...
Jul. 3, 2011 at 2:21 am :

That and the fact that writing is a way to release tension. I wrote a poem once (and published it anonymously) that told about a very hard time in my life. I decided to publish it because I wanted others to be able to draw courage from my experiences, and to know there's hope. I don't know if she wrote her story for the same reason, but I can definately relate.

Very well done. Congratulations on speaking up; your bravery is to be commended.

 

and if you want to see t... (more »)

 
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Crystal light said...
Mar. 8, 2011 at 11:49 am:

I think that expressing yourself yo your mother is an awesome acheivment. If Iwere in that situation i would be able to express myself in that way.

 

 
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WeLiveForScars said...
Feb. 24, 2011 at 7:39 pm:
My mom was completely unsupportive when I came out to her as well. I really found this piece to speak to me on an extremely personal level.
 
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laughlivelove said...
Jan. 26, 2011 at 9:29 pm:
You are so brave!
 
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butterballmonkey said...
Dec. 13, 2010 at 2:57 pm:

wow you go good job letting ur fealings go

 

 
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juhneen_6 said...
Nov. 19, 2010 at 8:52 am:
i wish i could tell my mother. im so afriad of being kicked out :)
 
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