I've seen it before in the hallways. In the faces of girls who walk by me with faulty step, struggling to walk because of it. In the face of the girl who throws out her lunch tray, uneaten. In the girls who wear sweaters in the summer because it has made their hearts cold. In the girls who've freed themselves from it. You might've guessed what I'm talking about, but if you haven't.... 

Furry cheeks,

ribcages,

blue nails with no nail polish,

hips too small size triple zero won't cut it, 

collarbones so prominent the rain can host a pool party in them,

cracked lips,

scarred knuckles,

heart attacks,

death.

You see, eating disorders aren't something that you see in magazines, they aren't a slim fast diet. 

Atkins needs to reconsider their advertisements.

Millions of young girls and boys feel the need to degrade themselves to feel beautiful. Eating disorders aren't just a disease but a monstrosity, ripping through the young and the old, tearing apart bonds between the best of friends. It won't make you America's Next Top Model, it won't make that one boy love you. All it can give you are monitored bathroom breaks, you can't take a shower without someone making sure you aren't throwing up your lunch.

Everybody worries that someday you won't wake up, that it will have gotten the best of you, that one day the calorie counting, portion control, fingers down your throat will be too much. You'll be dead or comatose and neither one of those is something they can live with.

The weight on their shoulders is heavy but not as heavy as yours. So if you're struggling don't journey on thinking you'll finally be beautiful because you'll end up dead. You can and will shine through your skin and show the world that you aren't part of that 15%. 

The girl you want to be isn't real, it's a mess of Photoshop, brightening, lightening, liposuction, and hours of reconfiguration. You can't be like the girl in the magazine because she isn't even that girl.