Childhood obesity is a growing epidemic that puts kids at risk for diabetes, high-blood pressure, and other future health related illnesses. First Lady Michelle Obama has become the advocate for healthy school lunches, putting regulations on schools to serve a variety of healthy options, discontinue the distribution of unhealthy snacks and beverages, and only serve a specific caloric amount to ensure students are not consuming more than would be recommended by a dietician. The initiative also required schools to serve a piece of fruit or serving of vegetables with each lunch for a healthy alternative to processed food. Since schools do not usually have enough money to compensate the nutritional and flavor standards of students, Michelle Obama has implemented starvation as the most efficient way to end childhood obesity.

Once this campaign took flight, “83.7 percent of school districts around the country” noticed the amount of waste in school garbage cans was significantly higher than before, demonstrating the students eagerness to throw away their store bought options and embrace the mysterious proteins served in the cafeteria (“National…”). All the while, students were looking more slender, giving the health administration a small victory, politely ignoring the sullen cheeks and lethargic behavior. “81.8 percent of schools saw an increase in cost;” which is understandable since healthier food costs more, but is not understandable because that healthier food is not present in schools (“National…”). Everyone knows if it is expensive and unrecognizable, it is fine cuisine. If the French can eat snails and call it fine dining, your children should not feel above eating meat from birds known as "spent hens" - birds past their egg-laying prime that would otherwise go into pet food or compost heaps” (Hutton). Children do not know the difference between a spent hen and a regular grade chicken, so the effort of spending money to produce and prepare them for a child’s consumption would be wasteful, as they would not appreciate the wholesome alternative. Kids love eating things off the floor, and their desires should be obliged. In response to the improved meal choices, the social media circuit started trending the “#thanksmichelleobama” accompanied by pictures of unappetizing, “healthy” lunches. Our students demonstrate their appreciation for the First Lady's lunchtime diplomacy by thanking her publicly so all, students foreign and domestic, may see how the title of “Greatest Country on Earth” even applies to empty cafeterias and empty stomachs. Students nationwide have seen the benefits of skipping lunch, not just for safety's sake but walking the road towards a healthier future.

Some parents are outraged by the implications this action offers, believing it is a critique on their parenting abilities. However, they should reflect on their poor eating habits and should not subject their children to sugar or discernable meat products. One incident in Kirksville, Montana made a teacher write a letter home to the parents of elementary student Alia Puckett to “see that [Alia] packs a proper lunch” in response to a cafeteria attendant expressing concern over Alia’s lunch which allegedly contained “four chocolate bars, a bag of marshmallows, Ritz crackers and a pickle” (Olsen). Dismissing the accusation of carelessness, Alia’s father, who happens to be a doctor, replied Alia’s lunch was comprised of “four pieces of ham...some pickles...four marshmallows in a Ziploc bag and then she had three very small pieces of chocolate, of which she ate one” (Olsen). The father should have known placing even an inconsequential amount of processed food would prove the need for reform, even in households. Teachers have taken the initiative to ensure the safety of children’s health does not stop at school. This depraved lifestyle should be perpetuated to abolish all obesity and reclaim the fashionable, malnutritious look of other impoverished countries. The government should make it more clear that food is not nutritious unless one must drown it in ketchup to mask the flavor. Ketchup is, after all, made from tomatoes, a wholesome fruit filled with antioxidants, and vinegar, a natural deterrent of high blood pressure. Michelle is a mother of two and if having private chefs works to keep her kids healthy, then frozen food prepared by nominal hands should be sufficient for American citizens. Michelle is looking out for the health of future generations and condiment sales.

It is an extraneous effort to get kids excited about eating healthy, but the First Lady somehow managed to accomplish it. The healthy lunch initiative has reduced weight, sodium intake, and joy amongst children. The greater of two evils has been vanquished, and we should be nothing but grateful. America should not stop at lunches to rid itself of childhood inhibitors. Talk of implementing work camps to fulfill the recommended hour a day of activity movement has already started sweeping through congress. That will really get the kids up and going. Thank you Michelle Obama for your service to our hungry yet slender students. The accommodations made by a government to ensure a nation's safety does not start by educating its people on how to maintain health; it all starts with changing its children’s lunches.