Fitting In | Teen Ink

Fitting In MAG

By MonicaMS BRONZE, Providence, Rhode Island
MonicaMS BRONZE, Providence, Rhode Island
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

I wouldn't ask for a dressing room. My mom always asked for me.
The evening before I had repeatedly risen from my seat and piled on excess noodles suffocated in meat sauce. Then I licked my bowl with the buttered garlic bread, leaving no evidence of the four servings I had inhaled. In the morning I would be forced to lie on my bed and suck in my stomach just to button my jeans. I dreaded school shopping. The sale rack, with its slender size markers, knew my number continued to bloat.

I learned how to eat from my dad: fast and without thinking. In our house, the dinner table involved battle, with the children on defense. One false move and our dinner would be snatched off our plates without warning and gobbled up by our father faster than we could blink. We soon learned to keep a hand up while devouring our chicken strips, and if Mom decided to cook that night we needed to hurry and get seconds before it was gone.

Only one pair of jeans I tried on fit. I lied and told my mother I could button every pair but only needed the jeans that lay guarded in my hands. We walked to the checkout.

I kept my head down as we passed a group of girls. They whispered. I glanced up only long enough to know my place. Their eyes cut at me, hands cupped over their mouths in secrecy.

***

The recess bell rang and I followed two girls in my third grade class out past the monkey bars to the fenced grassy area. We all wore the same clothes that year: khaki pants and polo shirts. Everyone was the same, or that was the idea.

“I like your pants. Where did you get them?” Marcy asked Alicia. I nodded in agreement, thankful they had removed their cupped hands and I could hear the conversation.

“Really? I like yours better,” Alicia replied.

“We should trade. What size are you?” Marcy asked.

“I don't know …” Alicia said, finding the tag in the back of her pants. “Seven.”

“Me too,” Marcy said.

***

I hid in line as I held the jeans, tag folded in so nobody could see the number inscribed on it was 12. I am not a size seven.



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This article has 348 comments.


on Nov. 27 2009 at 5:27 am
I can understand how you feel. Im in the same situation except im very thin.

I have a very fast metabolism and its not easy to gain weight. So, at 15, i tend to look like im 12.

And yeah, its really tough to find good clothes.

on Nov. 25 2009 at 2:46 pm
I LOVED it =)

i went through the same thing, I battled with an eating disorder over it. Its not an easy thing for any girl to deal with.

on Nov. 13 2009 at 10:29 pm
peacelover BRONZE, West Milfrod, New Jersey
3 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Be exactly who you want to be, and love every second of it"

I truly could relate to how you felt by trying to sqeeze into jeans and lying to your mom about them not fitting.. it happens to me all the time too. I hate dressing rooms because I always feel huge when I look into the mirror, but I just tell myself that everyone is beautiful in thier own way - you are too! Don't let typical skinny girls bring you down

megstar96 said...
on Nov. 13 2009 at 5:02 pm
megstar96, Stickney, Illinois
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments
I LUV IT i sometimes feel the same way. I wanted to cry for the little girl

on Nov. 13 2009 at 4:41 pm
rAinDroPsdRip SILVER, Fairfield, Ohio
6 articles 0 photos 150 comments

Favorite Quote:
\\\"never give up on something you cant go a day withouth thinking about\\\" \\\"carpe diem\\\"

:(

This is really really good!!

on Nov. 13 2009 at 9:53 am
dylonmichael GOLD, El Dorado, Kansas
10 articles 3 photos 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
i have two one is "live life as if it were your last day on earth" and two is "never make some one your everything because when they leave you you have nothing"

i really like it....it sucks being different than every one else but at the same time its kind of fun not being another copy of some one else...im overweight and i am kind of ashamed of my self but at the same time im not... idk right now i am in the process of exercising more and eating healthyer to loose weight

on Nov. 12 2009 at 10:42 am
dark_roses14 PLATINUM, Mazon, Illinois
20 articles 0 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
play the music, turn it up loud, dance around, and drown out reality

I was the same way that year! still am! lol but I've come to love the body I'm in, and as i'm getting taller, i find myself thinning out a bit! im in high school now, but nothings changed since then on how ppl treat each other

on Nov. 11 2009 at 1:51 pm
Cierra14 BRONZE, Dell Rapids, South Dakota
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments
i agree with Corynn..it shouldnt always be about looks, personality is more important.

on Nov. 11 2009 at 1:40 pm
:)Corynn! BRONZE, Dell Rapids, South Dakota
4 articles 0 photos 6 comments
This was a pretty good story/article. I'm really sorry but I really believe that fitting in is more about who you are and not what you look like.

on Nov. 7 2009 at 6:34 pm
phoenixqueen GOLD, Idaho Falls, Idaho
10 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I cannot live without books."

I agree. girls worry about their weight too much (myself included) and it really isn't that big a deal.

reesha SILVER said...
on Oct. 30 2009 at 12:33 am
reesha SILVER, Rawalpindi, Other
6 articles 15 photos 124 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."
Walt Disney

"Hakuna Matata!"
Lion King

"The British policy was 'unite and conquer'. But I say 'unite and conquer'."
Greg Mortenson (Three Cups of Tea)

Simple, yet beautiful.

on Oct. 22 2009 at 10:23 pm
BrittDawn PLATINUM, Winnipeg, Other
23 articles 0 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
And at that moment, I swear we were infinite.

This is so awesome. I love it!

on Oct. 22 2009 at 2:58 pm
firstsnowfalls DIAMOND, Marcellus, New York
51 articles 6 photos 105 comments
wow. very powerful!

on Oct. 22 2009 at 2:54 pm
heartsday BRONZE, Louisville, Kentucky
2 articles 0 photos 11 comments
so inspiring :) lovely writing, great idea.

on Oct. 22 2009 at 12:28 pm
VampireDory16 BRONZE, Jackson, Louisiana
1 article 1 photo 13 comments
All I can say is wow. I've been there. Incredible piece.

Emmalee SILVER said...
on Oct. 22 2009 at 11:16 am
Emmalee SILVER, Rayville, Louisiana
9 articles 14 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. - John Lennon

Been there.

sb013 BRONZE said...
on Sep. 30 2009 at 9:52 pm
sb013 BRONZE, San Antonio, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments
i love this! it is something that everyone can relate too. every girl has trouble with their "size". & they just got to learn to embrace it:]

on Sep. 30 2009 at 2:14 pm
I really like your article!! I think everyone can relate to this. You should be proud that you are a size! Love you for who you are!!(:

on Sep. 30 2009 at 6:37 am
wordweaver96 PLATINUM, Winchester, Kentucky
37 articles 2 photos 254 comments

Favorite Quote:
" It is not our abilities but our choices that show who we truly are. "
Albus Dumbledore


See, we really DON'T have anything to fear but fear itself!

this is so good. i've been that girl when i go shopping.

booboo said...
on Sep. 29 2009 at 11:52 am
i think every one can realte to this story but in different ways. you wil get threw it! we did (: