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I had this friend. You was amazing. We were like the same person. We were sisters. You were a genuinly happy person on most days. But you got depressed alot. You hurt yourself in many ways. It hurt me even more to see you like that. When you were in pain so was I. I could tell after one of your depression phases that your will to live was careening out of control. You were about ready to give in. You were slipping away and I couldnt help you. There was nothing I could say to you to make you stop. All you needed was a little bit of help. I was going to MAKE you better. If it meant i was going to drag you to a hospital as a hazard to yourself, I was going to do it. I feared going home after school. I worried of what you would do. You had the power to hurt yourself. I'd seen what you could do. But I never thought you'd take it to the extremes. And now as i look upon you, pale and cold, all I can do is think that this is my fault. I hold your hand for one more second then gently let go and turn away. I see your parents, your mom crying in a way that would break even your dead heart. I wish you would have thought about the people you were hurting than just yourself. I wish you would have thought of what this would have done to me. But as i stare at the pictures of you, smiling and laughing I remember why I loved you. I'm going to keep you forever. I only shed one tear, because it was for the one life you had.





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smileitsnakea said...
Nov. 19, 2008 at 10:30 pm
i have felt that my fathers death was my fault.. i know how you feel. if she truly was a great friend she thought of you before she did what she did. dont ever think this was your fault. everything is okay. she obviously didint want help, she couldn do it anymore
 
sameefreekinsunshine said...
Nov. 17, 2008 at 2:16 am
This is so sad!!!!! Im so sorry about your friend! It wasnt your fault! Dont believe that. Im sure your friend was thinking of you!
 
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