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Save Her Soul

By , bohemia, NY
When I was a little girl, I dreamed of being a princess. Every girl thinks of that once in a while. Either a princess, a rockstar, a moviestar, or something special.

When I grew up, my dad was always away on business. He would come home, pack, and leave again. I would always get upset because i never saw him. He was always gone. Sometimes instead of pretending I was a princess, I would pretend my daddy was with me.

Years later, I realized that something was wrong with my dad. When we was home, he was drunk. Always drinking. He wa always too rough and played around too hard, especially after his couple of glasses of wine.

My mom and I, along with my brother and sister left my house a few times to try and show my dad that his alcohol problem was making us want to run. I used to be so immune to running that I mastered it. Finally, we noticed it wasn't going anywhere.

I started self-mutilating myself. I cut anytime i couldn't deal with the pain. I used to snap rubber bands at dinner, at family parties, because i couldn't deal with the pain of my dad fading away. I thought about suicide because I thought it was better then living with an alcoholic.

I cut myself over my dad for almost 4 years. Then things progressed and my dad stopped for a little while. He calmed down when we started embaressing him by going ot A.A. which is a program set up for people to talk about people with substance abusers in their family. It help and things went back to normal.

Once we thought we was finally done, he started again. We realized we can't help him, and we live by the serenity prayer and the 12 step program.

You can not help people who don't want it. You can only help yourself. Never get yourself to the state where you have to run away. and never tell yourself it's your fault. It is not your fault. Whenever you feel as if there's no hope, keep holding on. Besides, what's the point of ending your life when you don't know what's around the corner.





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This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

writer24/7/365 said...
Sept. 23, 2009 at 5:22 pm
this is really good.
 
Butterflygirl said...
Oct. 30, 2008 at 10:39 pm
I know exactly where this girl is coming from my life is very simillar to hers and i have be cutting my self for two years until i realized that you can't help someone who doesn't want it and I stopped blamming my self and i got help for my problem and told my dad why, It helped me but he still drinks.
 
brittney said...
Oct. 22, 2008 at 4:46 pm
I completely agree with the author of the article when she says you cannot help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. If they’re not up for it, then it won’t work. But I don’t agree with her when she says you can only help yourself. Another thing I agree on is when she says that it’s not your fault, because it never is. They choose who they are, not you. I also agree with her when she says to not run away and keep holding on. The main thing I agree with is when she... (more »)
 
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