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All My Life-Not So Naive

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From the time I was 10, I have been deaf.I am now 18,I've grown used to it.I've become accustomed to the stress and the fact that I pound the pavement,keeping my studies up,taking care of my family,sacrificing myself.Why is it that I,a girl who has had 18 surgeries,is deaf,has a learning disabilty,a mother with 2 chronic conditions,hospitalized 3 times since April,don't break?You have sacrificed sleep,constantly rising every time you hear your parents stir to check and make sure they are breathing.Your father just returned from Issaqua,left you for 3 weeks while your mother was in hospital nearly toxic for 11 days.You were alone in an empty house,no parents,plenty of drugs, and razors.Yet you didn't do any of that.You were the woman of the house and while your mother has recovered and is back to normal,you still feel as though you're alone. 3 months of hospital duty,making sure she tests,making sure you don't lose your sanity.You just turned 18 in September,it's November now.You hold a 3.22 GPA,have a recital in a month,are applying to numerous colleges,and got a 23 on the ACT while all of this was going on.I said I wouldn't let anything stop me from my dream of being a social work,this nearly did.I said I would live at home and do online classes or community college,work and take care of my family full time.That if I left my family to go to college out of Tennessee,I would feel guilty like I had just committed a sin no amount of penances could make up for.I am not the naive little girl anymore.Foolish,a girl who keeps her silence when she should speak up,yes,but not naive,never again will I be naive or a coward.I have to be strong for my family and to prove them wrong.





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i<3steven! said...
Feb. 25, 2010 at 3:21 pm
wow, so true
 
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