Let me tell you about my bully. She’s a b****. Excuse my language, but she truly is. An annoying one at that. The sound of her voice makes my skin crawl. It’s a nightmare having to put up with it almost every day. And yet I do….I put up with her constant teasing…her constant abuse.

She says,

“Look at yourself. Look at how disgusting you are.”

She points out my blotchy skin and scraggly hair. My thick legs, my round face. But I put those thoughts aside because,

“Looks don’t matter.”

“Then why are you so alone?”

I don’t know. But she knows the answer.

“You’re not good enough. You’re a selfish, insignificant b****.”

She’s lying….

“Nobody has ever really loved you.”

No...

“Nobody really cares about you. You don’t matter.”

And people have the nerve to say,

“Stand up for yourself! Step up to her!”

But don’t you see! I can’t stand up to her, I can’t fight it, because the only time I ever see her is when I look in a mirror! I can’t get rid of her because when I push her down she just comes back stronger. I look at her and I hate her. I look at myself and I hate what I see.

Please listen to me. Don’t tell me I’m being overdramatic! Don’t tell me it’s all in my head because I already know that! Don’t you tell me to get over it. Because, I’m trying. I’m pushing and fighting her with all the strength I can bear to give away.

“It’s what’s on the inside that counts.”

I know….and that’s what terrifies me.