The Game of Life

August 31, 2013
There's this game of life we play,
and this is how it works.
You torment other people,
as if their of no worth.

You smile at their pain.
It makes you feel alive.
Your victims cringe away,
and it fills you with delight.

Someday, I hope you'll realize,
it's more than just a game.
The sobs of desolate people,
you are to take the blame.

And that day light will shine;
the birth of a new dawn.
But as for now as time stands still,
the game of life continues on.





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This article has 11 comments. Post your own now!

MarrBlue said...
Oct. 1, 2013 at 4:49 pm
You don't know how much feedback like this means to me. Thank you !
 
Zaylie said...
Sept. 30, 2013 at 8:15 pm
I really like this. I also think that people at my school would love to use this for a moto. I hope you submit more soon.
 
Mckay This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 30, 2013 at 8:04 pm
Completely agree with you. Bullying is unneccessary. People are dying from the effects of bullying. It must stop. Great words. And empowering poem, even though it's sad. 
 
SpeakerOfTheDead This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 30, 2013 at 4:23 pm
Splendid message. Excellent job.  I really like your title. 
 
Jade.I.Am This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 30, 2013 at 1:38 pm
I love your message, very uplifting. THR only thing I'd work on is rhyme scheme and the rhythm of the lines, cuz sometimes it was a little choppy....otherwise, it was really pretty (:
 
CrazySissi said...
Sept. 28, 2013 at 7:44 pm
I really like the message that you are trying to convay. I think there is a word you spelled wrong but that's not that bad. Keep up the good work.
 
MarrBlue said...
Sept. 28, 2013 at 8:59 am
Thank ou all!
 
LaChouette This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 21, 2013 at 9:10 pm
Hello! This is a nice piece! It has a good meaning. I noticed a few grammatical errors, but it's not too bad. The rhyme scheme is a little off and some of the lines don't quite match up in sound and length, but I still think it has a lot of potential. Good Job!
 
AnInkling said...
Sept. 17, 2013 at 4:34 pm
I think the peom is very good! However, I am a bit confused with the rhyming scheme. The first has no real rhymes while the second is "abac" and the third and fourth paragraph are "abcb". I think that any of them could work for the poem, but it might be nice to pick just one. However, the poem has a very good message!
 
blythebaird said...
Sept. 17, 2013 at 12:02 pm
I like the message a lot, but I feel like this is more of a prose piece. With some language upgrades here and there, I think it will be a great poem with an important theme. Great job!
 
lily_sings said...
Sept. 17, 2013 at 8:19 am
I enjoy this poem, it is simplistic but poignant. Excellent job. Please review/comment on some of my work if you get the chance :)
 
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