Surviving myself | Teen Ink

Surviving myself

July 24, 2013
By abecedarian_scribe SILVER, Johannesburg, Other
abecedarian_scribe SILVER, Johannesburg, Other
7 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.


A new day , a new beginning, a sense of maturity entered in my body as I woke up to get ready for my first day in high school.i wondered whether it was everything I thought it would be and boy was I ever right?

There was the cliques and the superiors and the inferiors, the bullies,the cool teachers, the not-so cool teachers.at first everything was amazing, I was happy and loved high school, it was exhilarating, electrifying to see the world through the eyes of a high schooler but I should've known it was too good to last.it was a Thursday in the second term of my school year when I encountered IT...

The bully, he was in 11th grade and as I walked into the computer class to ask the teacher a question I needed answered and I dropped a board that was in my hand. He laughed and teasingly said "don't pick it up" and then under his breath "klutz " and I was mortified that he could judge me on a small thing as dropping one board but I let it pass thinking he was just trying to make me nervous but then as days passed and I realized he watched everything I did and laughed at me openly and made any and every excuse to make me feel inferior . I kept quiet, never said anything but I realized later that it was stupid not to have said anything.i should have stood up for myself and demand outright for him to stop his nonsense but I didn't .

As the days progressed, the bullying and teasing got worse, the high school dream I was living in began to slip away from me. I became more and more quiet at school and at home, my life became hell, my self- esteem decreased and each day I went a step closer to depression but still... I didn't speak, I didn't speak out for the bullying to stop.

I was distraught and lonely even though I was not alone but... I felt as if I was and every breath of mine became labored when I had to see my bully in school everyday. The bullying had gradually increased and my health had decreased considerably, I lost my appetite, I was afraid all the time and isolated myself putting a wall up to protect myself and yet... I didn't speak and by this time things had gotten so bad that the day came when I felt the urge to cut myself so for a few moments I could get away from the emotional pain and all I could think about was " just cut , just cut, it will take all the pain away" and just as blade of the knife was about to make contact with my skin, my parents appeared in front of me, grabbed the knife out of my hand and demanded I give them a justification for my actions. Their anger soon turned to fear and despair as it dawned on them that I have many emotional scars from my school life.

They forced me into a counseling session every day to get me out of my depression and become my old self but no one can help you if you don't want to be helped. I soon began a routine , monotonously going from one thing in my life to another, I was living like a zombie, nothing improved and my life was still a mess but one night I startled up from a nightmare and realized that my life is not over, and I am still young, I have a whole bright future ahead of me and this is how my healing process began.

I stood up taller, started engaging more socially and broke through my walls. The next time that the bully saw me, I stood my ground and told him off and that's when I discovered that life is hectic and I'm not the only one that goes through bullying every day in fact there are hundreds of students out there being bullied in all corners of the works and there were bullies everywhere but that we , the victims have to overcome our fears and hold our ground. That we should be strong and show the bullies and everyone who thinks of us as weaklings that we can and will stand up for ourselves. We are not pushovers and we are not going to let bullies rule our lives. There is always light even in the darkness and we will find it.as I think about my life now and my life then, I realize I will survive myself


The author's comments:
This is not a true story , I have experienced similar but not exactly what I have written.it has come from my imagination and I hope people learn a lesson from this story and to all victims of bullying out there...STAY STRONG. Don't let bullying define your life

Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 0 comments.