Wishes

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You say you wish for flawlessness
You say you want solidity
You say you wish for perfectness
But I just need security

You say you want a promised land
You say you wish for large
You say you want a life of wealth
But I just need a charge

I wish I had your forwardness
I wish I had your charm
I wish I had your confidence
I wish you'd never harmed





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LexusMarie said...
Apr. 3, 2013 at 8:58 pm
Ooooh! I really like this. In the beginning you talk about the person and the the things they wish for and then you change it to the things that you wish for.. I really like it. I like the way it sounds when I read it aloud. You're a really good writer! You're great! Xx!
 
JettaWintryThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 3, 2013 at 10:56 pm
Thank you so much!! :) MMeans a ton.
 
ClaireBearB said...
Mar. 28, 2013 at 10:21 pm
I really like this piece! It's neat how you make it seem how whoever it is that you are talking about is someone you are different from at the beginning- and that you're fine with that. Then at the end, when you let us know that you envy this person, it just sort of... falls together. It is: flawless, solid, perfect, secured (:D), promising, going to be large and bring you wealth (haha, I'm kinda reaching now to use these) and put you in charge (yup, i really am)! I wish that that ma... (more »)
 
JettaWintryThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 2:20 pm
HAHA! Thanks so much for all of your support!! (: Makes me feel amazing!
 
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