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I Never Knew Her Name

Everyone has those little middle school moments, where for one minute, you totally go insane. Maybe it was because your latest boyfriend broke up with you, or because you failed a test. Perhaps your dog passed away, or a teacher yelled at you for what seemed to be an extremely pointless reason. It only takes one of those little things to set you off, and your overly exaggerated hormone driven emotions kick in.
In Eighth grade, I had one of those unbearable moments. I had just found out that there was a rumor that had been spread about me. I was immediately filled with anger, and it felt as if the whole school was turning on me. Noticing that I was upset, a fellow classmate went out of her way to tell me that everything would be okay. For reasons I cannot explain, this only made me more furious. So I started a rumor that she was pregnant. No one really actually believed the rumor, and I never heard of it after that day. In fact, I never really thought of it again after that day either.
But in my sophomore year of high school, I was proved wrong. I was walking through the halls on my way to a morning class and nonchalantly chatting with an acquaintance, when the girl from eighth grade comes up to me. Her face was tear streaked, her eyes were red and puffy, and her makeup was now a dismembered mess rolling down her cheeks. At that moment, I was clueless. I didn’t know who she was. I didn’t remember the rumor. I had no idea what was coming next.
Her voice was timid, and broken by sniffles, and I could just barley understand the words that quivered on her lips. She pulled up her sweatshirt sleeve to reveal a wrist of perfectly aligned scars tainting her skin. “See these scars? You caused each and every one of them, Ksenya. And I don’t think you even know what my name is.” Then she silently walked away before I could say anything.
I now understood that this was the girl who out of kindness, attempted to comfort me at that moment in eighth grade. The girl who I unintentionally hurt more than I could have ever imagined. The girl, who had served as a victim to my uncontrollable moment of enraged fury back in middle school. The girl who can never rebuild her reputation without my innocent rumor in her shadow. It was me, who ruined her high school life, and I didn’t even know her name.

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