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MY PARENTS ALWAYS BREAK THEIR PROMISES

C.N.Red posted this thread...
Sept. 24, 2013 at 3:58 pm

My parents are always promising to let me get something or do something, and then at the last minute they change their minds and say, "No you can't have this" or "No you can't do this." Sometimes they even pretend like they didn't even promise anything. 
When they do break a promise, they always blame it on my behavior. The thing is, they always start the fights. Like, I was supposed to go out with my friends last week, and the day before I asked my Mom if I could go to the store to grab something and she said no. I tried to reason with her politely, saying things like I need this for a school project, (I needed a poster board) and she told me I was raising my voice. Correction: She yelled at me that I was raising my voice. 
I know I wasn't so I said in a calm tone, "No, I wasn't" and then she started yelling at me saying I was going off the hook and that I wasn't allowed to go out with my friends anymore.
Other times, they'll say, "Yeah, you can get that," and then I wait patiently, and when like two weeks pass and I still haven't gotten the thing, I'll ask about it and they'll say make up some random excuse, like "You're behavior made us change our minds" when i haven't even done anything, and refuse to buy it for me. Other times, I CAN AFFORD TO BUY MYSELF SOMETHING but they still won't let me buy it, (in this case, a new phone, I can pay for the initial price and the data). 
My parents aren't broke, my Dad's a doctor, so I KNOW we aren't, plus my Mom goes out shopping for new clothes every day - literally, every day - but they just won't spend it on us kids. I'm still wearing the clothes I got from freshmen year, and I'm a junior now.
Why are my parents like this? Are they just self-centered, or are they just too stupid to parent?

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Oct. 2, 2013 at 6:35 pm

Don't worry, my parents are mostly like that too. Sometimes it feels like they just do it to get us angry, right? I guess the only thing we can do is bite our tongue and smile patiently until the storm passes, so to say. I recommend getting a job (if you don't already have one) so that you can not only pay for the phone and the data but the monthly plan as well. As for the promises, maybe try recording them secretly when they make a promise?
Best of luck :)

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freeday15This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Oct. 17, 2013 at 3:50 pm

Yeah, I agree, maybe record them making the promise so if they go back on their word you can replay it for them... Better yet, maybe have a nice discussion with them and bring it up tentitavely why they are always breaking promises. Use "I" statements like "I feel betrayed when you break promises" or "I don't understand what I did, can you explain it?" or "I don't think i did anything to be punished for, but if you say so, i will respect that." Killl them with kindness and they will have nothing else to say. I do it with my mom and she is at a loss for words when I am calmly talking and stating the obvious. Kindness always wins. (usually)

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Oct. 18, 2013 at 11:35 am

Oh, I know that feeling. My mom always thinks that I raise my voice at her when in truth I just want to put emphasis on my words. Sometimes, I do get the chance to receive letters from the two of them. They're absolutely rare. Most of the content, I tell you, are cluttered with apologies. Have you tried confronting them? Like, for an example, over dinner. If you haven't I can suggest trying said method. Start with something like, "You know lately it seems like..." Then let the conversation flow smoothly. If their feathers get ruffled though, don't take a dramatic exit. Don't do the icy queen glare either. Most of all, don't call them by their name. It'll drive them crazy. Say something between the lines of, "I'm sorry but that's the way things make sense to me." Adults are way too complicated. They want to make things simple but end up complicating it. Tell me though, are your parents in a good relationship?

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WilliamP. replied...
Dec. 3, 2013 at 4:00 pm

I think that my parents are procrastinating to make me mad until i finally decide to break this stupid laptop loaded with the lamest thing ever called Windows 7! Shame on them! And I KNOW they aren`t broke they have money to put food on the table and a roof over my head but i just am not happy with my OS. somebody help me i am going mad!

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