The thing is my father has been remarried to his current wife for about 12 years. She had a son from a previous marriage and it was just me and my sister who were my father's kids. I can't say that we ever got along, my stepmother and I, in fact she hated me and she openly admitted it. She still does. Two years ago she and my father told me that they were having a baby girl and that it was time for them to start their 'new' family. I felt hurt, of course, and just recently I found out that they are having a baby boy. The problem is that they now want me to go and do things with them, like we are some happy, chummy family who belongs together. But I guess the real problem is I have never felt like I belong with them, and they have made it clear in the past that I was a problem to their family. So what do I do? Do I put myself in awkward positions and try to fit in with this new family or do I make my opinion clear and tell my father that I have no interest in joining their family?
My feeling is that no one should ever have to fake affection. I often feel like my dad and stepmom view me as nothing more than a problem. I think you should be honest and your "new family" how you feel.
And tell your "new family" how you feel
Thank you so much. Do you have any idea how to bring up my feelings? I'm really not someone who is great at the expression of myself, especially not in front of my dad. So how do you think I should tell him?
Since I don't know how you and your dad interract with each other, I'm not sure what advice to give. But I think the best thing you can do is just be honest and straightforward and explain your feelings as clearly as you can. Hopefully he will listen and not just assume that you're trying to cause problems for him. I hope everything goes well when you finally talk to him. There's nothing worse than an honest attempt at communication turning ugly.
Tell your dad exactly how you feel. Force him to listen to you and don't let him avoid this subject. Your dad needs to know.
I have divorced parents as well, and my stepmom openly dislikes me. I would say to tell your dad how you feel, so he might be able to fix the problem, or at least help. It does no use to hope it will get better. Maybe try to be involved with the new baby and show your stepmom there is no reason to hate you.
Slowly work it into the conversation, and be very forceful with your words. Let him know it is hurting you, and you would like it fixed.