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Is it my fault that my birth mom gave me up?

christina96 posted this thread...
Jun. 3, 2013 at 11:00 am

Is it my fault that my birth mom gave me up?
I sometimes think it is my fault but I don't know why.
I say I think it is my fault because I was born first and then she had three more after that (my brothers). I think because I was born she wanted to be a mom after she had me at sixteen and then from there on she had more kids at very young ages. So, I need to know is it my fault or not.
One more thing I am adopted but before I was adopted I was in foster care until I was nine years old. Also, in anyone's honest opinion, do you think she still thinks and still loves me and my three brother's.
Anyone that reads this thread please write a comment because I need outside opinions about this because even though I've got opinions from my adopted family and my therapist to I feel like I need more opnions about so I can maybe move on and think about me future.
So, please read this thread and comment on this so I can see what othet people think about it.
Thanks,
Christina96
 

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Battle-For-FreedomThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 3, 2013 at 1:03 pm

No it's not your fault.  I'm also adopted, my birth-mother left me in an orphanage after I was born.  It isn't our fault that stuff like this happens, we just gotta learn from it.
I don't know if your mom loves you, she probably does, maybe she was doing what she thought was best and trying to give you a better life...

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christina96 replied...
Jun. 4, 2013 at 1:47 pm

Thank you for that reply because that really makes me feel better and makes me know that I am not a mistake to her and my birth dad as well. I guest when I was born that I a gift to them and that they are always going to love me in some sort of way no matter what.
So, again thank you for sending this reply to me and now I know that I am probably not the only one in the world that is adopted.
So, now I can probably converse with you.
Thank you,
christina96
P.S.  Battle-For-Freedom, Look out for other threads that I may or may not put out. But, just in case keep a look out and reply to the other threads in the future.

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Battle-For-FreedomThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 4, 2013 at 2:56 pm

Awww, thanks, glad I helped!  If you ever need to talk I'm on pretty much everday, so I'll be here!  Yeah I'll keep my eye out for other threads.
Anyway, nobody is a 'mistake'.  No matter what circumstances or situations they've been through.  The world is a machine with no spare parts, everyone matters and everyone has a purpose and place in the world.  Just remember that when you're feeling down!  :-D
 
GOD bless you!
 
Honor.

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christina96 replied...
Jun. 5, 2013 at 10:23 am

Thank you,
I would very much appreciated if you have any more advice on something of this subject that you just keep on replying to me.
thank you once again,
christina96

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Oct. 18, 2013 at 11:55 am

It's not anybody's fault that they were given up. Think about the elderly who have been forgotten by their families and their own children. Think about the poor people whom society shunned and simply accepted as an everyday occurence. It's not your fault. Not anybody's fault. We don't know what was running through your mother's mind when she gave you up. Maybe she wanted you to have a better life. Maybe she thought she couldn't handle you. I think she still loves you. She helped create you, after all. Even if one day, should you meet her, and should she deny it, remember that there will always be a fragment of that "motherly love" that belongs to you. No parent can forget a child, remember that.

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christina96 replied...
Oct. 21, 2013 at 1:21 pm

Thank you for that I am glad someone gets my position in what I am in about being achild that was put up for adoption at the age 4 years old. Thank you christina96!!

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Peaches08 replied...
Dec. 18, 2013 at 10:20 pm

She ABSOLUTLEY still loves you!! just because she gave you up dosnt mean she dosnt love you!! i think she knew that she couldnt take care of you like she would need to if she wanted to keep you, so she sent you to someplace where you would be loved and treated right and cared for. not because she didnt love you, but because she couldnt give you that.  i was adopted too! i was put in childrens inn and foster care, and now im adopted also. talk to me if you want to talk to someone:)

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christina96 replied...
Dec. 20, 2013 at 9:12 am

Thank you and yes I will keep in touch because I still think that I am always at fault for her giving me up.
Thanks for your response because it makes me feel better knowing that I am not at Fault for being taken away from her/being giving up.
I very thankful for your response Peaches08,
christina96

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RosalynneThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 7 at 4:31 pm

Nope. Definitely not your fault. She made the choice.
I would say she still loves you but was too immature to handle youo.

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writinggurlThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 25 at 12:00 pm

No it is not your fault believe me I have been through the same thoughts and the same things. My birth mom gave me to my grandma and then my grandma gave me to foster care and than i was adopted. So I know exctaly how you feel.

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christina96 replied...
Mar. 26 at 1:07 pm

thanks for your reply I appreciate it for alot reasons that I can tell but I do not want to do that. So like I said thank you and I appreciate it again.
christina96

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christina96 replied...
Mar. 26 at 1:08 pm

Thank you and it is nice to have someone who knows the things that I am going through as think that it is my fault that she gave me up.
christina96

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Dragonfly11This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 12 at 7:57 pm

~no it is not your fualt~ i have felt just like you. Just know it is not your fualt.

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drwholock101This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 17 at 4:35 pm

A mother always loves her child. It's part of their insticnt to love their child! She probably worries about you all the time, but knows that you're in good hands. Never think that it's your fault that your mother had you. It was her choice. You had nothing to do about it. You and your brothers probably mean the world to her, and she's probably glad that you were born! It is not your fault! She probably put you up for adoption because she thought it was the right thing to do. She probably wanted you to be in good hands. Be with people who could help you grow. Be with people that could give you things that she might not have been able to.
I hope this helped you. And if it didn't, then sorry! (:

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