Hi everyone. I just wanted to post a forum to let out my emotions and thoughts about an important person in my life... Let me first explain my situation:
So me and my mother were very close when I was a little girl and we lived together. But we have been separated for about 8 years now. Since I was little I had always witnessed my mother being beaten by her boyfriends. She was and still is an alcoholic. That was always her problem. Alcohol and men. No matter what the situation was she put those two things before the one thing that should have been her main focus: ME. Her little girl.
I was only 8 when we were separated for good and all of this time I blamed the state of Texas for separating me and her until I found out just the other day that SHE COULD HAVE KEPT ME!... But she wouldn't go to the classes to help her addictions that the judge told her she had to go to, to keep me. What a mother huh? And every time she went to court they tested her for drugs, so know what she did? She cut her hair short so they couldn’t take that much DNA from her hair to see if she was doing drugs.
Ever since I was a little girl, I always felt like it was my duty to take care of drunken people, due to my mother always being drunk. And my old therapist said that wasn't good for me. But hey, I was younger than 8 having to take care of my drunken mother. Her boyfriends were always drunks too... I remember watching her be beaten and I'd scream to her boyfriends to leave her alone yet they'd only look at me and threaten me. So yeah... That was hard... Having to live my whole young childhood being scared that I was going to see my mother beat again, me being the next to be beaten or even me being rapped.
But now I live with my aunt, who had just had brain surgery in September. Lots of the family came to see HER. Even my mom… Or so I thought. It turns out my mother only came to see me. And I, now being 15 for a couple months at the time, have grown to see my aunt as my second mother and I am very protective and caring over her. But the whole time my mother was here, she sulked and pouted because she couldn’t spend time with me. That everyone was being hateful and not caring for her needs of seeing her daughter but instead were too busy with me aunt. That’s pitiful… It was a life and death situation for my aunt!
So my mother called me a couple days ago, when I found out those things about her and guess what? She was drunk… With some man… And that hurt because I thought maybe my mother had gotten over calling me when she was with a man a year ago. Nope. I went from the years of being 8-16 having my mother rarely call me. And out of those times I can’t even count how many times she was sober. I doubt it is more times than on one hand. So I got mad, first things first I’ve been REALLY sick the past week, second I was in the car coming home from the doctor and third she had the nerve to tell me about the stuff I just explained in the last paragraph. I told her how it is: Me and Her seeing each other was NOT as important as being there for my aunt who could have died in surgery on her large brain tumor. And she did what she has never done to me… She hung up on me.
So honestly I love my mom. I love talking to her and seeing her when she is sober. But sometimes she just irritates me to no end with her selfishness. Thank you for reading.
You need to tell your mum how you feel, if she can't understand it or doesn't want to do anything about it, I would just get on with my life without her.