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Don't know what to do anymore

Sorla_the_Space_Cowboy posted this thread...
Apr. 24, 2013 at 2:08 pm

I'm seventeen and pretty much the only caregiver to a twelve year old and a ten year old. Money is tight, my older sister has been AWOL for a few weeks now, I don't even know if she's alive, but because she's eighteen no one cares, and my mom is going through another bout of catatonic depression. I'm trying to keep my little sister and our neighbor alive, I'm trying to do what's best for them, but there isn't much else I can do. I'm sick of all these responsibilities I never asked for, and I'm sick of everyone trying to cut me down at every turn. I'm still a kid myself, sometimes I think about just leaving. I've lived on the road before, and I love it, the only way I feel happy is when I'm constantly moving, but I can't exactly take two kids with me. I don't know what to do anymore. Is it selfish that I want to leave?

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Asher15 replied...
May 4, 2013 at 2:19 am

I don't really know how to answer this because I can't relate that well. All I can say is that I admire that you have got this far on you own, from what you have said you are strong. My advice would be to look forward and know that this WILL get better.you just have to remind your self when it seems so far away, that's its going to get easier.

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Falling.Up. replied...
May 14, 2013 at 10:30 am

I know this isnt probably the answer you want, but dont abandon the kids.. if you do, you'll regret it for the rest of your life, and those kids will remember it... the sense of abandonment becomes very strong after someone close to them has left.. obviously, they were abandoned once, or their original caretakers didnt care enough.. it would seem as though you care, so keep caring...
 
im very sorry about your sister and you mother.. todays society couldnt be worse, i think.. teenagers are having to take care of kids... just stay strong and never quit!! im here to talk to!!

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May 15, 2013 at 6:41 pm

I don't know, as the days pass, the more I just want to pack up Maggie and Kara and run. I'm sick of being treated like scum, it's not my fault I'm strange. My family is just so toxic, they only ever think about themselves, they're impulsive and insane, and I think they'll end up killing each other one day. I don't want to be a part of that blood bath, and I don't want the kids to be a part of it either. My older sister came home last week, but I wish she would leave already. She's doing coke again and she's acting really crazy, at least more so then usual. She won't stop hen picking me and threatening to kill us, that girl has hell fire deep in her soul, why does she insist on blaming others for her angst? Everyone has their demons, only the insecure and weak ones let their demons torment everyone else. I doubt it'll get better, it never does. It just keeps on getting worse until the only thing left to do is get a few thousand miles of interstate between you and the problem.

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May 15, 2013 at 6:42 pm

I don't know, as the days pass, the more I just want to pack up Maggie and Kara and run. I'm sick of being treated like scum, it's not my fault I'm strange. My family is just so toxic, they only ever think about themselves, they're impulsive and insane, and I think they'll end up killing each other one day. I don't want to be a part of that blood bath, and I don't want the kids to be a part of it either. My older sister came home last week, but I wish she would leave already. She's doing coke again and she's acting really crazy, at least more so then usual. She won't stop hen picking me and threatening to kill us, that girl has he.ll fire deep in her soul, why does she insist on blaming others for her angst? Everyone has their demons, only the insecure and weak ones let their demons torment everyone else. I doubt it'll get better, it never does. It just keeps on getting worse until the only thing left to do is get a few thousand miles of interstate between you and the problem. 

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Jade.I.AmThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 23, 2013 at 8:16 pm

Hey, sorla. Long time no see :) sorry to hear things have been going so rough for you. Yeah, it would be ludicrous for me to try and relate to this and give you advice, I have no grounds to speak on.......but ya know, I take care of my siblings too, not on your level, but pretty darn close sometimes.....and so I know what you mean by having responsibilities you didn't ask for. Stay strong, okay? I know you are. Don't know what else to say but that......best of luck!

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TheCapturedBatThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 15, 2013 at 3:38 pm

There is nothing selfish about the desire to escape. I don't really think that there is a way for you to escape with your siblings. If you leave, you need to have a plan for the kids. But please know that no one would condemn you for feeling the way you do. No one should be under this much pressure.

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Tech_Tiger_Maddy replied...
Jul. 22, 2013 at 8:09 pm

Hi, I am quite new here and this is the first post I am able to relate to.

I have a very similar, yet different situation. I have two older disabled brothers. They are both autistic and they need help to take care of themselves. My mom has been diagnosed with severe depression and my dad.... Well, he doesn't care. 

I grew up my whole life raising them myself. My mom did nothing, along with my dad. He cheated on my mom for ten years and just recently got caught and they are now divorced. My parents were never there for me, or my brothers. I was the caregiver for almost my entire life. 

I know it's hard, and it always seems easier to give up. Trust me, I've tried to take my life before. I don't want to sound mean, and I'm not trying to. But it is selfish to leave. I was selfish trying to kill myself. But never give up hope. It does seem impossible, but it's not. I wish I could tell you it will all work out in the end. But I can't, because I just don't know. All I can tell you is this: This is your story. It's your choice. 

I can't tell you what to do or how to do it. All I can give you is advice and hope you can take it. Please, just don't give up. If I had given up, I would never have the opportunities I have today. Stay strong. 

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ramfthomas4This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Oct. 24, 2013 at 2:10 pm

sorla, DO NOT do this on your own.
you can't stay in this environment that is, as you say, toxic.
but if you simply run away with these girls you will always be struggling.
for some reason there is no obvious website that i can find, but this might be helpful for resources. https  ://www.childwelfare.gov/
also, go to a church.
if you can talk to a pastor, or even a youth leader they will know how to help you.
i will be praying for you sorla.

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