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How do I come out to my parents?

Author posted this thread...
Mar. 24, 2013 at 4:37 pm

Hi, my name is Adam. Well, actually, lemme rephrase that. My birthname is Sarah, but what I go by to a few friends and my boyfriend is Adam. I am t.rans.gender, which means that I am physically and mentally uncomfortable in my own body. I feel like I'm trapped in my own body. Well, I'm a boy on the inside, trapped inside a female body. Oh! And I'm also g.ay... I've had a boyfriend for a bit longer than six months now, and I love him more than anything.
When I first told my mom about that she said, and I quote, "You're just trying to fit in somewhere. You're too young to think these kinds of things." and "You're confused."
If I was trying to fit in, I wouldn't be ridiculing myself from society and my personal relations by coming out as t.ran.sgender and g.ay. And I'm old enough to know what I'm thinking (I'm fifteen) My boyfriend knows about it by the way. 
My mom was raised Baptist, and my dad is Catholic, and my dad is okay with g.ays and tr.annie. but my mom isn't... I don't know how to come out to them...

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RarelyJaded replied...
Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:12 pm

Lol, okay so I've been talking to you on three different threads, and I finally found the root of the problem for your depression! (I think)
I'm sorry you feel ostracized by your mom. That's really unfortunate--but you don't need me to tell you that. I honestly don't know what to say that will help. I can't say I know how you feel, cuz I don't. But I offer my support if you need it, and an ear that will listen. 
I'm non-denominational Christian, you might have guessed that from our conversations, and I want to apologize to you for how the church has treated ga.ys, trans.genders, etc. It's deplorable. Just know that not everybody is like that.
I'm glad your boyfriend accepts you for who you are. Over time I think your mom will learn to respect your decision to be yourself. Hopefully she'll look past her own misgivings and keep a loving relationship. 
I'm Callie, btw. Everyone one here calls me Jade, or you can call me whatever. Would you like me to call you Author, Sarah, or Adam? :)

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Author replied...
Mar. 25, 2013 at 3:37 pm

Hi Jade, I'd prefer either Author or Adam. I hate Sarah so much..
Yeah, this is one of the main roots of my depression :P

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RarelyJaded replied...
Mar. 25, 2013 at 4:00 pm

Keep me posted then, and I'll help however I can :)

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Author replied...
Mar. 25, 2013 at 6:22 pm


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RarelyJaded replied...
Mar. 25, 2013 at 6:47 pm

ht tp : //www.twitsnaps. com/101545
ht tp : //boingboing. net/2011/09/28/baby-pandas-need-a-nap-photo.html

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WriterHead replied...
Mar. 27, 2013 at 12:05 pm

hello author!!! :) you said that your dad is ok with gays and transgenders, so i'm assuming you would be more comfortable with telling him rather than your mom. if you get comfortable enough to tell your dad, maybe you should tell him to tell your mom for you. i hope this helps.

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RynnTopia replied...
Apr. 9, 2013 at 5:05 pm

Hi Adam~
My name is Sarah, coincidentally, and I don't have a gender...or a label, but I understand feeling trapped in your own body. My best friend is trans, too, and he had a hard time telling his parents. Since I don't know you or your parents, I can't really offer advice, but I can tell you that you aren't alone. :) This is a tough subject, but if your school counselor isn't homophobic, you could talk to them about it. A lot of times, having a supportive professional there can be helpful. Like I said, I don't really know you, so that's just off the top of my head. Peace, Love, Pride,

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EPluribusUnum replied...
Apr. 27, 2013 at 8:41 pm

Hi Adam. I'm Em, and I'm gender fluid so my gender is just one big puddle of oops that usually doesn't exist at all. My heart goes out to you. Dealing with gender is hard enough, and dealing with sexual orientation is hard enough, but when a parent isn't supportive it gets tougher still. I would suggest making sure there is time to really discuss things with both parents, and tell them at the same time. Generally, the more accepting parent will rub off on the other one. Don't make the mistake I did, which was blurting out "Speaking of which, I'm bisexual" (that was a lie, I'm really quite lesbian) ten minutes before school. And then there was the great gender interrigation, which inclueded three hours of me crying on the porch while my parents threatened to search through everythig I own until they figured up why I was so upset. My dad thought I was trans after that. Oops.

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Asher15 replied...
May 4, 2013 at 3:24 am

You are who you are, you can't change that. Though you mum doesn't understand that at this time, she will. Know that.

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