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My Dad. . . Try Money Source

CountryPopGirl posted this thread...
Jan. 11, 2013 at 8:19 am

He is that man that is in most teens and kids life. Someone who decides who a girl dates and delivers her down the aisle. The man that boys look up to while they are growing up. But my dad, just look at the title.
When I was little, before I can remember, he dropped me and ignored me. I would stand at the  door and wait for him to come home. He would always rush past me toward my sister (2 years older) and come to me once she was satisfied.
When I was 5, he enrolled me in a self defense class. It was fun for the first year, but then I started geting tired. I asked if I could quit and my dad told me that I couldn't quit until I got a black belt. I was scared he might beat me, so I did what he said. So as a 6 and 7 year old, I studied and practiced and prepared for the exam to earn a title that I never wanted. The pain and studying I compare to what you do in high school. Now, the title and all my training doesn't matter.
My dad then became obsessed and between his overdemanding job and self defense, I rarely see him an hour a day. To be honest, it seems an hour is too much time with him for me.
On Dating, he wants be to be with and marry a rich guy. I ask the hypothetical question, 'Well what if he abuses me and cheats on me?' and his response 'As long as he is rich.' As if that isn't the worst thing a father could say. Plus I don't even want to be married. Any guy I like right now, my dad scoffs at. I had a boyfriend in 8th grade and my dad hated him. Eventually my dad made me break up with him in August. I was heart broken, but my dad didn't care. The boyfriend made me happy and made me laugh, which I rarely do, but my dad just had to get rid of him.
Right before Thanksgiving I started playing piano,  and my dad does't support me one bit. Sure he buys me sheet music, but that is as far as it goes. I see the way he looks at me. Disguse, disdain, hate, Go.d-why-does-she-keep-playing, da.mn-girl-making-too-much-noise.
Also, he NEVER calls me beautiful, pretty, nice. He pays all his attention and love to our dog and barely pays attention to me and my problems.
One last  thing, my dad is a perfectionist. He yells at me for getting a grade on ANYTHING below and A. Sure I can skid by on an 85, but after that he is full blown furious. He yells, I yell back and its a screaming match. I start to cry.
So now I have to be a cold hard emotionless person around him. I need a heart of stone just to be in the same room around him.

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Kenrichi replied...
Jan. 17, 2013 at 12:06 am

I won't talk about him since I don't know him, but don't let anyones negative ways affect you, even if it your father. May I ask if your mother is around? Because if she is, you should talk to her about him. As for the dating you talked about I hope you know to never be with some who won't treat you like a queen. I'm also sorry that you had to end your relationship with that boy, but believe me more will come or he might even be in your future if you guys attend the same school. Keep playing the piano, until you feel like stopping, definitely don't stop doing something you love because of negative criticism. He may be a perfectionist but so long as you gave a test your all the results don't matter, neither does it approve how smart a person is. Now as for advice to help you with your dad, have you ever tried talking with him about this recently? Perhaps even telling your sister to talk to him about how he's treating you is another good idea. A school councilor can give more advice then me, I'm sorry for being useless, but I hope you never once felt worthless because of how you've been treated, because you have just as much worth as me or anyone else.

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CountryPopGirl replied...
Jan. 17, 2013 at 3:38 pm

Thanks so much for the encouragement
I do try and blow off the negativity from him and I do what I love. But I am not that much of a talker. Normally I express myself in my writing.
But again thanks for the advice

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Kenrichi replied...
Jan. 17, 2013 at 5:13 pm

No problem, I'm glad that I could at least slightly help. And I can also understand your Father issues just in a different way. If you ever need to vent or express your problems again, I'm always willing to listen.

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Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:23 pm

That sounds like a pretty bad situation. Stay strong and don't lose hope. Maybe things will get better? You could try reaching out to a trusted adult :)

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