I just need to get this out there. My dad and I have always had a rocky relationship since him an my mom got divorced when I was three. He's come in and out of my life for as long as I can remember. He never showed up to any special event and always broke his promises. But when he was actually there, being my father, he was amazing. We always had so much fun together and he was great to talk to. Now I haven't seen or heard from him in two years. He's gotten into a lot of trouble and has a lot of issues to work out. I'm 18, ready to go off to college, and it still kills me every day knowing that he's choosing his addictions over me. I know he lives around where I live, and I look for him where ever I go. Part of me hates him, wants to just scream at him and write him off. The other part of me just wants my dad back and hopes that he'll pull it together someday. So what do I do? How do I let go?
I know this must be REALLY hard for you. =( It's natural to want your dad to turn his life around, and pay more attention to you, so don't worry. Kids need a father, or father-figure.
I have a suggestion, actually. Do you believe in God? Christianity helps people in SO many ways. It helps them fill in the gaps in their life. Christians call God their heavenly Father, and He NEVER is ignoring them. God can help you, and be there when your biological dad isn't.I hope I'm helping, and not just being annoying. =D
I honestly don't know what I believe in. I was raised Catholic and resented it completely, I don't agree with a lot of the things they teach and believe in. I would say I'm spiritual, I definitely can't label myself as anything else.
Thanks for trying, but although God or a higher power might make it easier, it doesn't replace the physical person that's missing from my life. but again thanks, it's really sweet of you to try :)
You could maybe try writing him a long letter expressing how you feel. You don't need to send it if you don't want to, but...maybe it would help to get all that out? Also, this will probably be even less helpful than religion, but...I'm frequently on, and if you need support, or just want to talk...I'll listen, and I can sort of relate. You see, although I know my dad pretty well, and he isn't addicted to anything, I didn't know that he existed until I was about 7, mostly because he was denying that we were related...so, yeah. Anyway- I care.
yeah, i've pretty much done that through my writing. The story "promises never kept" and "remembering" are all about him.
thanks, that actually does make me feel better. I'm might take you up on that sometime.wow, that's terrible. I'm glad you two are close now.
Sadly, my mom hasn't spoken to him in over a year... but oh well. I'm glad that I could help : )
RealTalk: Tell him how you feel. How youve anticpated his appearnce at special evnets in your life. How disapointed you were when he wansnt there. Tell him how great it was being with him and how happy thoses times were. Tell him he needs to straighten out becuase you love him. If he doesnt he shoudnt be aprat of your life or a burden. Straight up. Good Luck :)
thank you :)
only problem is at this point I have no idea where he is or how to get ahold of him.
I am in the same situation your in..... I'll just tell you my story
during this past year i was in and out of the hospital a lot... i was diagnosed with an acid disorder and later on my doctors thought there was something wrong with the tissues surounding my hip bones
anyway my mom needed to find out if anything like that was common in my dads side of the family. a while after my mom called him i recived some texts from him. I thought he was going to wish me well but instead he was angry that we called at all to ask him. he said i'm over dramatic and i shouldn't ask him about any thing "so stupid".
that was the last time i talked to him and that was almost half a year ago... fortunatly there is nothing majorly wrong with my hip, we found out that there was tiny fractures in it but any who i know it's hard to go through life without a parent... if any one ever needs to talk about it i love helping people get throught this.. good luck I hope you figure things out
Are you 100% sure we aren't twins? I was born Catholic too and I hated every second I had to spend in the church. I would count myself as spiritual as well.
As for your problem with your father, did you feel you were his little girl? Because I felt the same way you feel after my father left me when I was 8. I suffer from a bipolar disorder because of it. I still don't know who to trust or who is actually telling the truth when they say they love me.
I've had similar troubles and what I would say is you need to forgive him for all the hurt that he has caused you. I know it's easier said than done, trust me I'm still going through the process. But once you accept the reality of your relationship and you stop expecting more than he can give, I promise it gets easier. And the forgiveness for what he has done will become more natural as you slowly let go of all your hard feelings. Let me know if this helps, I'm going through the same thing right now so I know how it really is.