This year, I was in a group and i finally thought it was for me. I have been group jumping sence 3rd grade and I thought I had finally found real friends. I made some amazing friends, and I was so happy.
Around the middle of the year, our group started having problems. There are three guys in our group, and like, twelve girls. It was pretty much a recipie for disaster, but I didn't realize it until the middle of the year.
As our group grew, I made friends with this girl, Gio. Well, the problems started when she started going out with a boy her and I both liked, and then comming to me for advice with her relationship. I would give it to her with a broken heart, and during that time, i started hanging out with some other people, too, because it was just too hard to be around her and him.
Later, she told me that she only said yes because we made a deal that whichever one he asked out would say yes, and that it can't screw up out friendship. I vaguely remembered that day and told her I was sorry that that made her hurt me. I was never mad at her. I was mad at myself for thinking this guy that i have been friends with for a long time would feel that way towards me.
Anyways, after my friend and him broke up, this guy broke my heart, yet again, when he went out with another girl. Earlier that week, i had wroten him a note and had my friend give it to him. He wrote back saying he didn't want a girlfriend. he showed my personal note to all of my friends and alll of his. The jerk.
Well I stopped liking him, and wrote some mean things about him and his new girlfriend in my diary. That was the worst mistake I'd ever made.
The guys in my group are jerks. They would constantly make fun of me in particular, and no matter how many times i would tell them to stop, they would use my hurt words against me. They would tell me that I was being dramatic, and they called me a drama queen. They would talk about me behind my back, and turn my friends against me. They were just as bad as girls, if not, worse. That was when I started cutting myself and thinking about suicide.
The girls in our group had a book that we would write in. We would tell our secrets, talk about our family problems, and problems we had with the guys. My friend Gio started going out with the main jerk of the guys. She would talk about really personal stuff in that book. Well the guys got curious and started looking through our backpacks for the book. Remember how i talked about my biggest mistake? I kept my diary in my backpack. The guys got a hold of it and started reciting lines of it back to me. They threatened to tell the guy that I said mean things about what mean things I said. I think they knew Iwould do backflips for it back and they definantly used it to their advantage.
By the end of the year, I was sick and tired of dealing with them. Can anyone blame me? I went to a friend I had in 4th grade, and a close friend anyways. When our group started to fall apart, she told me that I could hang out with her. She is, what we call at our school, a gangster prep. She is popular, but not a prep. She hangs out with gangsters. I told my friends, or lack therof, that I wasn't going to hang out with them next year. They got upset. Veeeeery upset. They told me that I can't go.
The main guy told me that if i was trying to fix our problems, I should stay. i told him i was sick and tired of dealing with them and there was nothing they could do to fix that. Not only that, but our group split in half. Well more like Mormons against everyone else. 4 against 16. Not even close to fair.
So now my question. Should I stay with them, and continue enduring their torment, or leave to a different group where i might be changed for the worst?
My username is AnyaB. I don't know why it didn't put it. I wrote this.
As a psych major, I would recommend that you seek proffessional like a counelor or guidance. There should be free resources at your local human resources (or services) department, someone there should help you with suicide and cutting. Trust me I've been down that dark road and have only survived by grace. Anyway, my advice to you would be to seek other friends. Avoid the gangsters and the popular kids.If they are truly your friends and they care about you, they would still hang with you even as you avoid the rest of the group. You should then take that one or more individuals and make your own. Your true friends are the ones that stay with you through thick and thin. Trust me
I only told one of my friends about what I did. I really don't feel comfortable telling my parents. And I haven't told anyone, but I have problems with depression, too
AnyaB, I myself have struggled with depression since i was in sixth grade. A very similar thing happened to me and i started cutting. i got scared and told my friends outside of the group about it and with there help i told my parents. i think the first step is to tell your parents about everything. Then i think that you should stop hanging out with them all together. sever all ties. it will help, i promise
My problem is that I love some of the people in that group. Some of my best friends hang out in that group and theyre amazing. I know for a fact, though, that i cant tell my parents
why cant you tell your parents? and if they are your real true friends then they should understand and try to hang out with you outside of the group
First of all I think you should drop the sore losers that you called 'friends' and a gangster really? Struggling with deppression is amazingly hard and it could cost you your life so instead of thinking about it. STOP. I know that it was not easy for your friends to make fun of and still tell you you can tell them anything but instead of trying to please your friends.. stop it and try to please yourself i know its not easy to be a loner in school but there is one person at that school that will be your true friend. Instead of following everything they say try to make yourself happy by doing something that calms you when they make fun of you. I used to be bullimic because I wanted to be like everyone else in my neighborhood since they were rich and I wouldnt even consider myself as a middle class--er....Whatever anyways what made me calm after a hard day was to write, for others it may be painting drawing or whatever so my advice to you is to find somthing that can release stress in the best way possible
i agree with Pretty, DROP them! they arent worth it! i dropped all of my friends this year because they were making fun of me because of my sexuality. I didnt need them so i am now a loner
My advice would be to find new friends. If you still have friends in that group then try and hang out with them outside of the group and make your own group. Find people that like you for you, friends that you can tell anything too. Friends that understand you.
As for Gia, dispite the deal that use made if she really didn't want to hurt you then she shouldn't have said yes .We all make mistakes though. Mistakes are our biggest learning tool.
I hang out with a group of eleven guys and about five girls. I don't really get along with all of them, but my best friends are guys and I have learn't that sometimes they are jerks, and other times they are the sweetiest people you will ever know. I guess it just depends on the personality of the guy. But by the sounds of it, the one who you broke your heart, is a jerk. I know plenty of them, because their are plenty of them at my school. Them type of guys are best to avoid.
I get that by writing in your diary and having people read it out loud made you hate that you had written that stuff in the first place. But imagine how much built up anger you would have if you hadn't written in that diary? Sometimes writing is the best way to releive yourself of emotions. Maybe you sould think about getting a diary with a lock, or leave it at home where no one can see it or find it. I didn't have a diary persay but I used to write a journal, it was in a normal A4 note book with a simpsons front, I didn't want anyone reading it so I slid it behind the back of my bed side table and when ever I needed it i could reach through the shelf and easily pull it out.
I understand that it is hard to tell people you love that you are self-harming and you are depressed. Trust me I have been down that road. I no longer self-harm because I have someone that makes me forget my pain. But that doesn't mean that I am not depressed any more, I am. I suffer from three mental illnesses, Anxiety, Depression and Selective Mutism. This was all caused by death. I had felt so bad about myself, I became so close to ending my life. I had texted one of my best friends and he made me see the good things, he made me realise that even though all I wanted was to be with my mum, I had so much here on earth to live for. I hadn't even had my first kiss, and I've had that now. Kissing is the rain, is amazing as well. When I think about it now I realise how stupid I was being. I no longer feel the way I did a year ago. I've learnt to manage my Anxiety, avoid my triggers, my depression is hard to handle at times but my very bestest friend told me that whenever my depression took over to think of a list of ten things that make you smile, and it worked. He also started to sing 'Don't worry, Be happy' very badly and that just made me laugh and, well, snort. You really should talk to someone, even if, for now, you talk to a friend you trust most. I also suggest wearing a rubber band on your wrist (if you self-harm on your wrist) and whenever you feel as if your going to self-harm, to flick it. Even if you have to flick it until it gives you a welt, the worst it can do is bruise and cause a welt.
I don't understand what you mean when you say 'Should I stay with them, and continue enduring their torment, or leave to a diffferent group where I might be changed for the worst?' Only you can change yourself, yes people can have an effect on that but if you feel as if they are a bad influence on you then you should find another group that will make you change for the better.
It's taken me all my primary and high school years to find a group to fit in to, and their all outcasts in their own way, I am an outcast and I've found a group that makes me feel good about myself because I fit in and they don't judge me even though I am very different to a few of them. Some how, we all have something to relate to. Pain. When you find a group that you fit into and doesn't treat you like absolute doggy doo doo, then you are in good hands. Just as long as you feel as if you belong in that group and you have friends you can trust and rely on in the group.
Oh, wow. That was really long. I hope it helps in some way or another.
Thank you all, but I dont think you understand. I dont know why, but i need to be in a group semi large. The very thought of not makes me not want to be at that school any more. I cant hang out with the outcasts because I was popular and if I hung out with them, I would be starting at the bottom all over again and I dont want to do that my eighth grade year. Chloe you really helped, thank you.