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Really need some help

nerdycountrygirl posted this thread...
Jun. 4, 2013 at 12:27 pm

So I'm basically re-doing my previous post, with some more information.
So there's this guy I really like, and have been friends with for quite a while, along with his brother.
I convinced him to come to prom with his brother and me and another friend, and we slow danced a few times, which was amazing. Also, starting the week leading up to prom (it’s been a month), we have been talking online usually everyday. We've even talked for about 5 hours straight before. We have basically told each other that we like each other, a couple of times, and he’s told me that I’m cute a couple of times. Although we haven’t directly talked out our feelings or anything, as cheesy as it sounds, sometimes we just look at each other and it’s like some sort of rom com moment.
But I have a few problems.
The first is that he hasn't asked me out yet. We hang out usually once a week, but it's always with a group. He has mentioned a few times different things that we should do, and every time I cheerfully respond that it would be fun, but then he never says anything about it. He's pretty shy, and so am I, so that's probably the issue. Also I don't know how to get him separate from his brother, since they do everything together.
Also, he and his brother are leaving in two weeks for about a month and a half, so I'm trying to figure out what I should do about that, too.
And my last problem is more of a non-specific one, but it’s potentially a big problem in this relationship. I have always had self-esteem issues, and went through a period of depression, mainly because I’m shy and I used to not really have any friends, causing me to feel incredibly alone. My guy and his brother have become very close friends of mine, along with a couple of other people that I have become friends with. My problem is that since I know what it feels like to be so alone, I now think that I’m trying to hold on to my friends a little too hard, and that I’m starting to be clingy. It’s not that I have a lot of time on my hands, I stay pretty busy, but I still feel like I panic if I don’t talk to these people every day, which I think may be getting irritating for them. I’m afraid that in my effort to hold on to these people so I don’t lose them is actually pushing them away. It’s really hard, because I don’t want to push them away, but at the same time it just feels so good to have people to talk to since I was alone for so long.
I want to make it work with this guy because I feel like we’ve really got something special. I’ve never been this close to having a relationship before, so I don’t know how to balance our contact with not being clingy. Also, at a friend’s ceremony we were both at, someone wondered, asking two different times, if I was his girlfriend. I didn’t say anything, and I’m pretty sure he didn’t answer. Honestly besides online, we have started acting a little couple-y. We usually stand and sit next to each other, pretty close, and usually it’s him who comes over to me.
Sorry this is so long, any advice is appreciated!

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Run2Liv3 replied...
Jun. 24, 2013 at 5:41 pm

First: Take a deep breath. You're doing great! You are just overthinking the situation, thats all. As you mentioned in your post, you and your friends have become pretty close. I know you are afraid to be alone again, but i can asure you that that wont happen if you dont talk to them for a day. Communication is very important in any kind of relationship: family, bf, gf, or even friends. However, i am positive that your friends will understand if you do not talk to them for a day or two. Thats what close friends are for :D They understand you and all of your motives, and at the end of the day they still like you!
As for the boy: Try talking to him more about your feelings for him. Get him alone so that he HAS to answer your questions. It seems to me as if the two of you are pretty close already, so this should pose no problem for you at all. Make it clear to him that you would like to date and that you are not sure what you should do when he goes away. Maybe even ask for his contact information where ever he is going so that the two of you can keep in touch while he is away.
Good luck!!! I hope i helped you in some way :) Tell me what you decide to do and how it went.

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