You're pretty much done all the right things to keep him alive. I'm wondering if he's also looking for attention? Regardless, maybe you should just confront him and say how selfish he's being. Forget the fact he's going through a lot, he sounds like a great guy and he's planning to do something that will hurt everyone who cares about him if he succeeds. He's talking about ripping himself from life because he can't deal with now? He's still young! Life will get better if he lets it. Sorry if I sound rude or uncaring but it's been ten years since my two cousins commited suicide and no one in my family has truely gotten over it.
haha its okay, sometimes silence is a great remedy in itself :)
Cantrella your totally right! And It has crossed my mind that it might just all be for attention. So what ever! So long as it floats his goat! I know i've kept him alive which might be an accomplishment, but he's still hanging with the wrong kind of people. So wether he gets to keep living or not, his life is pretty much screwed cuz he refuses to let go of the past which is what I believe has gotten him here in the first place. And fire lover, I think silence is my best option now, he won't listen to me, but there's no point being bitter about. I did what I did, and nothing will change that regret or not. So, past is the past. It's time to move on. And if that means he sees me as the devil now? So be it!
awesome, im glad that you could figure it out. sadly his decisions are his decisions. he's the one thats gonna have to suffer the consequences. cantrella is right. youve helped as much as possible. if thats not enough, i dont know what is :)
Yep! Thanks guys! The thing is, nothing is ever enough for him. So, yeah:-/
yes, step out for a while. be carefull,pray for him and still care but you have to get out of the situation. you dont want to say or do something to make him more depressed, mebe send some cards and say how much you apreciat him and let him know that he matters to you and God ( get others to help) use your discresion on this okay? ill pray for him, but be carefull, his life is worth a lot so you have to talk to someone (pastor, teacher, older friend) someone whos been through it all. hope this helps. keep me posted
Thanks Zander! I really apreciate the advise and I might try the cards thing. It's a good idea. And I just want to thank everybody who has posted here so much! It's really helped and i'm glad I posted it here. I'll keep trying to reach out to him with love and kindness. But the tricky part is doing it in a way that doesn't make me anymore vulnerable. It seems (when I see him in the halls at least) like he's lost just about all the friends he's made this year. It seems like he's trying to start over which is probably good! Unless it's with the wrong people. People that would get him into drugs and alcohol and stuff. But I keep countin my starts thankful he's still alive and I didn't have to attend a funeral! Anyway! Yea... It's been a rough decision and one I never thought I'd have to deal with. But I feel like I've grown from it. And I'm hoping the worst is over. And if not? I'll stare the next challenge in the face and say "come at me bro!" cuz after the month of April, I don't think my life could ever be more... I dont even know what word to use! Random, maybe? Or so filled with new situations. Difficult ones at that. Either way, thanks for everything guys! I'll keep ya posted!
I sure hope so Musicckic :P im glad you wer able to grow from this. i hope eveything gets better, for you and for treaden
hey MusicChick, i was going through my past forums and saw yours, to tell you the truth, im a bit curious to know how ur doing, you might not ever see this :p but i just felt like putting it out there :)
Hahaha thanks for remembering about me(: Well... He hates me now. The summer was really ruff. We would have points where we didn't talk at all, then we would flare back up at each other. Resulting in lots of hurt feelings... Well more he hurt my feelings a lot. Not sure if I hurt his. Anyway, we've gotten back to school and it sucks to walk through the hall and always make eye contact with him and stuff... But we never actually really acknowledge each others presense. I've deleted his contact from my iPod and any/all screen shots of conversations from or about him... So I'm just to the point where I'd like to pretend it never happened. But the crappy part is that in all honesty I still care about him. Like not love him. But I just still wonder how he's doing and what's going on. I just genuinely care! Like only close friends should. And I sometimes wonder if that's a mutual feeling, but... I preformed for veterans day yesterday with my school choir and of course the first face i look out and see after entering is his. And like I don't know. It makes me almost wish one of us would disappear so I can stop remembering what happened... Wither that or have him truly forgive me so we can be cool and not just make creepy eye contact everytime we pass in the hall. It's the worst part about living in a small town.
I'm so sorry.
I say just stand by the person and let them know you are there. Hope it gets better for you soon! :)
He may soon realize what a good friend you are for telling.
Your situation is really reminding me of my sisters. There's this guy and they were best friends, when a rumor, and a nasty one at that, went around bout her and him. Plus, just to add wood to the fire, supposedly she herself started it. And it's basically the same. We have 2 classes with him and it's like they pretend that they don't even exist to each other. I'm sorry that this happened to you. I wish it didn't happen to anybody. But you never know, only time will tell if he'll come around. I just wish there was a way I could help it happen :P
Sooooo..... How u been :p
Sorry, I've been trying to decide what to write...
You see, After I posted that last comment, I ended up at a party, a small one... Probably only ten of us there, and he was one of them... It took probably an hour into the party before the two of us relaxed enough to actually have fun. We never directly spoke to one another, but just seeing him, it made me realize a few things... One that with everything that happened last year, he is trying to be better, so there's no point in me being bitter. And another is just that he was hurt amongst it all as well... I think over the summer i forgot that he wasn't just my friend, but i was his... there's this two way thing that i forgot to accknowedge I think. And i never once considered the fact that maybe all the things he said he had no idea i cared... ya know??
anyway. I'm sorry to hear about your sister. to be honest gossip sucks and it's what makes middle/high school so rough, at least around here.
It sucks that these types of things happen, but i guess that's just part of life, i mean, I believe in a lot of things that you probably don't one of them being that a lot of things will happen after this life, so I feel like if we can just get through this than maybe we'll be good. And that's the point of having friends and family. to get you through the hard stuff, so you can help them through their hard stuff.(:
I'll admit sometimes I day dream about what would happen if he does realize my reasons behind telling.
any way:P thanks for everything you guys!! oh! and merry freaking christmas!!
Merry Christmas chick, :) and I'm glad things are getting better :)
Don't leave him, the best of friends are the ones who stay and withstand you. Try to tell him that you appreciate him and I know boys don't neccessarily talk about their felings, but try to give him an optimistic view of life. Be his rosey glasses, be his friend. Stick with him and he will appreciate you later.
And thanks for the comment Peacemakerz... I appreciate your opionion, and i wish i could put it into action... I really do... however some of the things said over the summer stop me from actually doing that.... I do hope at some point when neither of us are bitter any more we can resume being friends and everything can go back to the way it was... though with as stubborn as he is, and me, who can't seem to learn how to trust anyone very easily, it may never work out... but I'd like it too...
I think all you can do is keep trying to be optimistic and hope for the best... Wish there was more to do though :p :)