Facebook Activity

Teen Ink on Twitter

Home > Forums > Teen Ink Forums > Dating, Love & Friendship > Is there ANYONE out there who understands me??

Teen Ink Forums

Lively discussions with other teens
Next thread » « Previous thread

Is there ANYONE out there who understands me??

RynnTopia posted this thread...
Apr. 16, 2013 at 5:23 pm

Ok. Here's the situation. I'm female, right? But on the inside...I'm neither a boy nor a girl. I'm queer, but I don't have a more specific label...and I hate that one. I usually get along with trans people, because they understand the gender thing, but as for everyone else? They don't understand, freak out, and tell me "you're a girl."
I'm not asking.
I'm telling.
And I'm starting to get desperate for a friendship with someone who understands the lack of labels...
My boyfriend is pretty good about just letting it go, because he's way younger than I am and understands being judged by one's appearance.
<3 out to my best friend, who happens to be trans and TOTALLY gets what I'm trying to say here, even though he hasn't really experienced it himself.
Anyone out there?

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
PrincessMonet replied...
Apr. 27, 2013 at 7:34 am

I dont understand

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
SimoneSimon replied...
Apr. 27, 2013 at 3:56 pm

i get the whole label thing, dont worry.  people arre idiots, they never understand anything.  thats why i hate people :p

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
AnyaB replied...
Apr. 27, 2013 at 7:18 pm

You should love yourself for you. Talk to someone you trust, a friend, teacher, or ever your parents about what your feeling. Im sure they can reassure you and comfort you at the same time.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
xo_zozo replied...
Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:15 am

I totally understand.   Though I haven't gone through the same thing as you are, I have quite a few friends who have been in similar situations.  And I've also had to deal with people giving me labels that I don't like and don't want.  

What I will never understand is why our society is built so firmly around giving people labels that they never asked for, and judging them based on those labels.   While I am female, and identify as such, I completely understand how uncomfortable and often upsetting it is to be judged unfairly and misunderstood by people.  

It is completely unfair of people to judge you or anyone else like that.  

I hope you know that it is incredibly brave of you to be able to be honest about this.    

While a lot of people may not understand what you mean, perhaps you can use it as an opportunity to help educate them.

I know that there are some people who won't be able to accept you for who you are, because they're small minded and mean.   But there WILL be lots and lots who will love you.   And not because of or in spite of your gender identity (or lack thereof)  but because of who YOU are.  

Try to remember that you deserve to be loved and respected.  Unfortunately there will always be mean people who will try to bring you down.  But know that you (and everyone) deserves to be respected for ALL that they are, and not what other people think they should be.   

You are you, and that makes you perfect.   

I don't know if this helped at all, but I hope you know I completely support you :)  

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
RynnTopia replied...
Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:37 am

Oh geez...now I'm crying. You guys are awesome. It's great to hear that. Thank you~

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
raymondpaul replied...
May 4, 2013 at 3:38 pm

   dear Rynn,
i am a guy, and i know some girls who have the same problem. they go to teachers for help, then get turned away. all i can say is that you need to hang in there.....and to quote one of my favorite singers " you are always wanted". just because life is hard doesn't mean that you can't conquer it. then, when you do, you can say "I DID IT!!!"
          Raymond Paul

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
RynnTopia replied...
May 4, 2013 at 9:41 pm

That's so sweet. Thank you for being so supportive.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
KayE.K. replied...
May 8, 2013 at 5:56 pm

I understand you, just haven't gone through this situation. Love yourself for who you are, because that's what makes you special inside and out. You are you, unique in your own way. Talk to your parents or someone that you feel you can talk to about anything. Just be yourself.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
Cantrella replied...
May 8, 2013 at 9:57 pm

(I don't know if this helps but I have always believed in past lives so this makes sense to me. )
See, everyone is composed of pure energy and spirit. Sometimes spirits have lifetimes that are so close to the next that they have memories or feelings from that past life. My Dad is a medium, so to speak, so he can connect with spirits and that's how I learned that I was male in my past life. Sometimes I have feelings that a very female, but other times I am very male and that's my past life coming through. Some people are more connected to it, but regardless, it shouldn't matter what gender you are, as long as you are comfortable in your body.
I'm not gay but I'm not straight either because I am attracted to a certain type of girl so I don't really fit under any label, which annoyed me for the longest time until I realized it didn't matter.
I am me, I am beautiful. You are you and YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. "Be who you are, and say what you feel, because those that mind, don't matter, and those that matter, don't mind." Who cares who you are on the inside? No one is exactly the same as someone else. (Unless you have a clone but even then it would have independant thoughts and feelings.) Everyone is unique. Trying to make everyone exactly the same is like trying to hold corks underwater-there's always one that will surface, and is therefore impossible.
Believe me, it's good that you're talking an asking for advice now. Some people try to hide if for years are are constantly afraid of being found out or ashamed of hiding it. So long as you have a strong support group, who know you, inside and out, you will never be alone.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
KiaraLondon replied...
May 19, 2013 at 2:34 am

Labels shouldn't even be a thing. Be what you want to be, chica.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
nani_laceup replied...
May 19, 2013 at 10:38 pm

i understand you completely, i'm going through the same thing, and yes, i'm a female. i know it's annoying getting labeled and judged by people. i also know that it gets through deep what people say about your situation but you'll get through it. And i dont mean it in the way of "oh don't worry this happens to everybody" type of way, i mean it in the way that there are people out there that are going through this and need a friend and sometimes they get rejected but you should know to hang in there and never let go. these situations that happen are what make you stronger, smart, and wiser. Now don't worry about the labeling that people place on you, as long as you know who you really are, and what you are capable of is all that matters. i know that my words probably won't be much of help but i'm telling you this as a friend, that your true friends will accept, love and care for you no matter what you're going through in your head, life, etc. and when you meet people that don't understand, don't take that moment to be sad but take it as a moment to educate and teach them about it. That way, they can teach their friends, and their friends teach their friends and so on. 

So be proud of what you are you are beautiful, and amazing in your only way even if some people don't see it, others do. :D 

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
nani_laceup replied...
May 19, 2013 at 10:39 pm

i hope my reply was helpful in a way and i hope you get through this 

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
zander101 replied...
May 23, 2013 at 11:33 am

hey, i had a problem finding someone to understand me too, guess who the people i found were?
sisters best friend, and Jesus, come to find out i just neaded to chill out and live my life and wait for God to work instead of getting in the way.
hope this helps

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
IAmLegend replied...
May 25, 2013 at 1:47 pm

yes i understand. i am friends with all of the people like you at my school and they get jugded all the time. i am the best pillow in the world and if you need a hug just ask for one :)

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
AnyaB replied...
Jun. 20, 2013 at 2:08 pm

I think people lable others because that helps them to understand them. Girl, boy, gay, lesbian, it's just so that they can understand who they are. Names can also be lables. There are always going to be those people in life who want to take advantage of our differences and our lables.
For example, people make fun of me because I am in MMA and I am a girl. They don't judge me because of my skill level, they judge me by my lable.
Also, they make fun of am and call me onion. My name is pronounced on-ya and they just love to make fun of me. I think my name is beautiful, but people love taking the beautiful things in life and finding a way to turn them ugly.
I am sure you are a beautiful person, and no matter what others tell you, always believe that God made you beautiful for him. Everyone is uniqe and you should just be yourself and be proud.
I hope that helped.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
Levi_rawr replied...
Jul. 4, 2013 at 11:43 am

It's hard being different and not fitting in. I think a lot of people can relate in different ways to this. I'm sure many people haven't found who they are. I understand and i feel ya :)

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
TheAlpha replied...
Jul. 10, 2013 at 3:38 pm

Yeah I understand totes cuz I am neither nor I just say I am gender because I do both gender wise things and I dont give in to what people say so if people ask say you are gender because truly there is no label for us people that act as both are both we are neither queer or girl or boy we are us we decide to be neither yet both it isnt being girl or boy it's called being ourselves so dont judge or be judged.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread

Launch Teen Ink Chat
Site Feedback