Teen Ink on Twitter
*Steps on Stage*
Hello. My name is contemplator. If my name is to long, you can shorten it to Conte, Templa, or Lator.
I don't come out of the PT forum. Ever. But I would like to see other peoples views on the subject of relationships. More specifically, conservative love.
What I mean by conservative is how they did it in the old days. What did the average 18th century teeanager have to do to catch a girls eye? And can I do the same thing today? Or would it be to wierd? Should I talk to the father first? Should I write a 5 page report on what my intentions are?
i would prefer to do things like the old days. but in the old days people were more modest and polite.
To cacth a girls eye...maybe write a poem or open the door for her. become friends with her family.
Today you would probably look like a creep unless you've already known her pretty well. i know i opened a door for a girl i liked one time and i'm glad she was the kind of girl that didn't think that i was a creep she thought it was sweet.
I think today you should always talk to the father first. you earn the respect of her family and in the long run everything would be better.
also courting is a very beneficial thing to do.
5 page report...i'm sure the father wouldn't mind but i don't think you would need to:)
This girl is very modest. She wears ankle long skirts and is a knock-out.
I am curteous to her. Her father and I are really good friends. I even help her with her chores when I can. Its when I open my stupid mouth that hurts my reputation (I think). If you ever want to watch an 11 1/2 size shoe go into my mouth, just watch me in person.
Please tell me more about courting.
Have you ever read Joshua Harris' book I Kissed Dating Good-bye?
I think conservative love is respecting a girl as a person and not just an object of se.xual desire. I hate it how guys AND girls have tarnished the meaning of love. Old fashioned morals, like saving se.x for marriage, are attractive in guys. It shows commitment and real love. Hope I helped!
And yes, opening doors for girls is one of the best things to do to catch her attention! It's SO cute!! If you're polite but funny and warm, parents will love you! Girls don't like "cool" guys... They might THINK they do, but when they meet you.... They won't know what hit 'em! :)
RarelyJaded: 'I think conservative love is repcting a girl as a person and not just an object of se.cual desire'
Well put! But with said, what do you think about highschool dating? What are the intentions or goals of a couple with the conservative mindset?
I've got to change my profile picture to something manly.
BUT I LOVE PUPPIES
High school dating.... Is fine unless the couple isn't mature enough to have boundaries when it comes to certain things. With hormones, it's easy for girls, or guys too I guess, to be manipulated into se.x or just stuff like that in general.
As for goals.... If the couple is conservative, I guess it depends on whether they are mature enough for love. I think most of the time couples need each other to feel special to someone, which is a selfish thing but all too common in high school. (And with adults, sadly.)
Contemplator its been awhile, and this is my first time seeing you on this side of the forums lol. I believe the 18th century boy had there own way and customs that they abided by so I don't think we need to emulate them; however our culture today could learn from them on how to treat women
contemplator: i love your new manly avatar:)
Kenrichi: It has been a while! And yeah, I don't normally explore other parts of TI. And thanks for your thoughts! I don't know if you've gone into the PT forum lately, but things are getting pretty lively.
PB: Its a police dog. ;P
Permit me to introduce myself: CTS207, at your service
It is from my humblest experience that; chivalry, faithfulness, and manners are rare qualities to be found amongst us males. For it seems we (males) are divided into two categories:(#1. the Gentlemen (extremely rare find) and the #2. The Jerks (males who behaves as boys at the age or with the appearance of being mature). For it seems all I hear from those I date are how their formers were compared to me. Who turns out to be the best guy they've ever dated. (At least thus far lol)
Alas the old days of an essay of intent, is long gone and getting to know her family. Well depending on your circumstances and locality that can be creepy or rather thoughtful.
It is from my experience however that a friendship with the lady of interest is the best place to start. Just being yourself but being a better self every day is a good habit to get into. I.E whatever mistakes you make the day before, you take note and you learn from them, develop a plan to avoid repeating it and then you put that plan into action.
So far at least 6 friendships with females have turned into relationships. So if you ever need advice in this realm of life, I am happy to oblige.
CTS207: Hi! Thanks for your input. Could you answer these questions for me?
1. What does your username mean? It seems so random.
2. What are your reasons for dating? What are your goals/ intentions when you date?
3. When you get into a relationship with your friends, does it ruin the friendship? Are you still friends when you end the BF/GF relationship?
4. What faith are you? You mentioned faithfulness as a rare trait. I'm just wondering if you have a religion of a sort.
Personally, from a girl's opinion, I would love it if I guy opened doors for me, was willing to get to know my family, and would be fine with saving se.x for after marriage. In fact, I think those are the main components of my perfect guy! I think if he acts like they did in the olden days, I could relax around him, and be more comfortable and friendly, and I wouldn't feel I have to worry about makeup, how my body looks, my outfit, etc. Also, if he acted this way, I would feel like he respects me.
As for high school dating, it's kind of hard to say. It depends on the couple involved. If the couple is responsible and respectful of each other, it's probably a good sign that they are very mature and looking for marriage or a similar long term relashionship. If the couple is just together for physical satisfaction, or other similar ideas, it's a bad sign and I don't think couples and relashionships like this are a good idea, and I would aviod being in one, myself.
by the way, I wouldn't worry about this girl, you sound like a very nice guy (I think the word I'm looking for here is chivalrious? Is that how you spell it? Well, let's just say you act in a very chivalry-like manner, ahahaha) and you sound like you care very much about her :D
It is chivalrous. :D I like how you are able to accurately judge me from six posts on the internet. As for the girl. I don't want to 'worry' over her. I want to hold a friendship that can turn into more when I'm older, but its hard. She is so beautiful. And there are other guys who might ask her out or something. I don't want to ruin my friendship with her by forming a romantic relationship. But I don't really want her to be in a romantic relationship with someone else.
Truthfully, I doubt she would go into a romantic relationship with anyone for a long time.