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shamliz posted this thread...
Feb. 6, 2013 at 8:51 pm

I've never had a boyfriend before.  I've always been okay with it.  At the moment, I am not interested in getting married later in life, having kids, or really ever settling down.  
I've started getting to know this guy and he kind of likes me.  I think I like him.  Right now were talking.  We hung out tonight.  It was okay, I'm really shy so I probably didn't talk as much as I should have.  I don't know how to overcome that.
I don't know if I should tell him about my plans in the future or what.  I'm a sophmore in high school right now.  I think it would be kind of ridiculous to tell him because we haven't even started officially going out, but if this actually goes somewhere... 
I'm not the type of person to just date to date.  I think that is pointless and would be a waste of my time.  I don't know if he is though because I just started at his school and although I knew him before hand, I never really thought or asked about it.
I'm also nervous about being public about dating.  I'm a really private person and it's really unsettling to think that by holding hands, or more, people would know.  

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CTS207 replied...
Feb. 6, 2013 at 11:39 pm

Hello Shamliz

Let me first say Welcome to the World of Relationships & Dating. Congratulations on finding your first (if I may say) 'crush' . I have been dating for 4 years with 5 relationships, each one brought its share of wisdom at the cost of pain and some loss. But all worth it!
Right now its important that you set before yourself, your views and opinions on relationships. For example how they work, what makes a health relationship, what are the qualities in a guy you are looking for, etc. I would also recommend to you that you write down your answers and NEVER share this with anyone. Now as to your matter of being a 'private person'. I was also extremely shy and timid, especially my freshmen year. But after my first relationship that year I was able to grow out of my shell.  Also if your not a 'social butterfly' by senior year, college will take care of that (lol). Anyway, please do not stress over the details of what you see in other relationships. For as you said "...we haven't even started officially going out." My best advice will be to get to know him for a month. Good Luck if you need advice I am right here.

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smart_blonde replied...
Feb. 10, 2013 at 2:38 am

All I can say is the best relationships are founded on good friendships. You're only in high school right now and high school is a time to have fun and learn about life, love included. If you like this guy, keep hanging out with him and talk however much you feel comfortable because you shouldn't have to be anyone but you to get this guy to like you. I wouldn't worry about talking about your future plans right now because the future is so uncertain. Just live in the moment. Also, don't be nervous about going public with dating someone. I just recently made my first relationship "Facebook official" and while is was a bit scary at first, the amount of support was amazing. Just take your time and don't let fear get in the way of something wonderful.

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Marina M. replied...
Feb. 10, 2013 at 10:59 pm

i'm also a private person and being seen with my ex was really hard to accept for a while. but you kinda get used to it.

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WriterHead replied...
Feb. 11, 2013 at 10:04 pm

i've never had a boyfriend either, im a sophmore as well. however, i know for a fact that when i start dating, i would want to be private also. i would say maybe you guys should start hanging out more, maybe break the ice. walk and talk in the park, go to the movies. i think this way you'll start to feel more comfortable around him.

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SomethingLikeFire replied...
Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:38 pm

Ive never had a boyfriend but a lot of my close friends are guys. Maybe this goes somewhere, maybe its doesn't. If it does, great. I wish you the best. If it doesn't, you at least have a great friend out of it.

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