Teen Ink on Twitter
One of my best friend's is really depressed (it's a long story) and she cuts and stuff. I don't know what to do, she made me swear not to tell anyone that she cuts and I'm just a little confused. I think she needs a therapist to make her feel better about herself as she's really sensitive and usually unhappy. Can someone give me advice?
Honestly it would be best if she sought help from a medical professional. Good friends look after each other, but true friends do things for the good of them even if it means going against their wishes. In this case, I would seriously try to convince your friend to seek help from a counselor, at school etc. They are under law to never speak of what is said (Doctor patiecent privilage). So if she is worried about getting in trouble, she won't.
She needs to see someone if she is self harming. I know this is rough, but it may be best to tell a guidance counselor. You may loose the friendship, but is it really worth keeping the friendship and loosing the friend? Guidance counselors have to call ther person's parents if they know that that person is putting themselves in danger. Recently, I had a good friend who was cutting herself. Our other friend went to guidance with her, sat down with the counselor, and told him the story until the friend who was cutting got up the courage to speak. She has been seeing a therapist and, though she has cut between now ant then, it has been almost a month since she has self harmed. I am so incredibly proud of her. What she had inflicted on herself was the worst damage my guidance counselor had ever seen. Her body was literally covered in cuts. If she could stop, your friend can too, but it will take patience, help, and support from wonderful friends like you. Try to get her to talk to an adult. And be understanding if she relapses along the way. Having been there before I can say that it will be hard for her to talk to an adult, and she might be mad at you for making her, but in the end she is much more likely to ever get better.
Thank you for your advice, both of you. A few months ago, she did suggest talking a counsellor (not to me, but another friend) but they didn't believe that she was self-harming and depressed, etc. Now she's nervous about seeing a therapist of counsellor, but I think that I'm going to have to do this for her. Thank you both :) your advice will help someone's life become better
You're welcome. Good luck to you and your friend! I hopw she feels better.
If youre close friends with her, and her parents know you, go straight to them. otherwise, tell your mom and figure out a plan from there. dont jump the gun, because she needs your friendship right now, but you defiantly need to get her help. ive been there. tread carefully, but swim steadly. <hope all of this makes sense and helps xoxox>
Like her for who she is. Ask her about what's really going on and why she's feeling this way. There's always a way to make someone feel a little better.
I have a friend like that, too. She stopped cutting, though, thank God. I know how you feel. Try to talk to her. Make her know that you're there to listen. Show her that you really care about her health and well-being. Maybe you could try talking her into telling a trusted adult? School counselors keep everything that you say confidential.
Best of luck :) Stay strong
Thanks for all your advice everyone :) You're all pretty much telling me the same thing, but I'm not sure how to start it off. There's no school counsellor and as I live in a small town, doctor's are limited too. At being the age of 13, I can't drive down to the city without telling my parents, and I'd rather they didn't know.
Just be there for her. If she's nervous to go see a counselor, go with her. Don't tell her to stop cutting-- that makes it worse. Just be a support and somebody she can trust.