Facebook Activity

Teen Ink on Twitter

Home > Forums > Teen Ink Forums > Dating, Love & Friendship > Serious question here.... for guys...

Teen Ink Forums

Lively discussions with other teens
Next thread » « Previous thread

Serious question here.... for guys...

beautifully-broken posted this thread...
Jan. 1, 2013 at 7:14 pm

would you date a girl who self-harmed... would you love her, help her, be there for her... or is that just something that happens in stories and stuff....? 

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
help_from_above replied...
Jan. 1, 2013 at 7:23 pm

I'm sorry... I'm not a guy. But I have self-harmed before, and I have a boyfriend who knows everything there is to know about me, and he still loves me reguardless. He tries his hardest to help me when I have a problem. He might not understand fully, but he tries. So, yes, I think guys would date a girl who self-harms. 

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
AmayaEcho replied...
Jan. 1, 2013 at 7:56 pm

Again, I'm not a guy, but if I were, I probably wouldn't. The reason is this: how can she truly love you when she can't love herself?  Sure, you can be there as a friend, but dating is another matter.  Make sure she's completely cured of self-harm before dating her.  If you don't, she could depend on you too much, in an unhealthy way, very easily.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
Author replied...
Jan. 9, 2013 at 7:25 pm

Okay. That's a really good question. I'm a guy, but I also have self-harmed....
Anywhoo- I would date a guy... or person like that... but the main thing to do is to be there for them, but don't try to force them to stop or else they will think you're forcing them to do something that they desperately cling to. The self harm is their outlet and they feel like they need it. You need to make them happy, make sure they know that they're life doesn't suck, it is just fine, and they don't need to hurt themselves.... that's my advice.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
Kenrichi replied...
Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:34 pm

Interesting question. So long as the girl meets my preferences for a girlfriend, something like that would not matter to me. But as we all know it depends on the guy

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
Paulski replied...
Jan. 9, 2013 at 11:04 pm

if I knew that someone was self harming, i'd be there for her, help her through it, try to get her out of it, and all that stuff, but i would not date her. things like this have to be dealt with someone who is a little bit distanced. and amayo brings up a good point. she can't love you if she can't love herself. maybe if she's better i would, but not before. i would do all i can to help her but i wouldn't date her.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
wolfpack270 replied...
Jan. 11, 2013 at 10:51 pm

I'm a guy and I have dated and cared for someone who self harmed. Self-harming doesn't make you less of a person or any less worthy to be cared for by others. Whether you self harm or not, you're still you. That just gives the guy another reason to always be there for you.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
CTS207 replied...
Jan. 12, 2013 at 6:07 pm

Speaking from a Man's POV, everyones 'love story' or love life, is different. Some our fairly glamerous, but all have their ups and down. You should not burden yourself out of pity or sympathy to those who refuse to help themselves. And I hate to sound like an jerk but seriously thats the way it is. Stay Strong

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
thenightmaresource replied...
Jan. 14, 2013 at 9:07 am

"Everyone is intelligent, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life thinking it's stupid." Albert Einstein said that, and essentially what he was saying was that there is something good about everyone. So yes, I would date someone who self-harmed, and I would see what is good about them.

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread
SkilletRiser replied...
Jan. 16, 2013 at 8:44 pm

That's a good question.  I'm actually dating a girl who self-harmed, just like me.  When we first met and told me that she cut...I was schocked and hurt because she's beautiful and i didn't think she should do it.  Two months later we started dating and we eventually loved one another, helped each other, and are always there for one another.  Eventually we both stopped cutting (for different reasons).  To answer your question, yes it's possible for a guy to date a girl who self-harmed

Reply to this Thread Post a new Thread

Launch Teen Ink Chat
Site Feedback