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Newsiesfreak posted this thread...
Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:31 am

I feel like a freak already because I'm a democrat living with a bunch of republicians. But I'm scared to come out to my rents and tell them I'm bi. They're homophobic and I'm already the problem child in the family.
The most hardest thing about keeping this secret though is the fact that my gf is a girl I've been friends with since pre-k. They think were just hanging out just to hangout. They accept her as a friend, but i'm scared on how they'll react when i tell them we're dating. They yelling at me now since I spend so much time over at her house instead of coming home.
I just don't know what to do. Please help.

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sorla replied...
Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:08 pm

This is a hard and confusing thing to go through, I know first hand. Luckily my family was more accepting then most, but it's tough not knowing what your family's reaction will be. But they are your family, and they love you unconditionally, so being bi is no reason for them to disown you. It may be hard in the beginning, they may be confused, or ashamed, or think something is wrong with you, but there is nothing wrong with you. Sexual preference is determined at birth, it's as set in stone as your gender and your temperament. Maybe if you help them understand that homosexuality is perfectly normal and acceptable, it will make it easier for all of you. And maybe, they won't even make a big deal out of it at all. You won't know until you discuss it with them. I wish you luck, and I hope you and your parents will come to an understanding.

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Six_Tooth_Sun replied...
Oct. 7, 2012 at 2:37 am

This is a very delicate situation, and going about it the wrong way could be really bad. Parents...their job is to love their child unconditionally, to accept them and want them to be happy no matter what. What's most important is to not get angry, even if they react badly. Try to keep calm, be rational, explain to them that you are the same person as before...you're still their daughter. 
Also, I wouldn't just like blurt it out. I'd have them sit down, make sure you all have a lot of time to talk this out. That's really important too, I'm sure it would help them accept it easier. 
Good luck, I hope my advice helps a little :)

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HotHotPolkaDOT replied...
Oct. 7, 2012 at 11:15 pm

1. Make sure they're not upset with you

2. Ask to talk to them

3. Assure them ur not in danger and haven't done anything wrong

4. Sit them down and slowly explain how u feel: scared, nervous, and tell them they hope they understand

5. Tell them what's going on

6. allow them to ask questions

7. Don't get upset or freak out, remian calm and collected

8. If one of them freaks out, say that when they feel like talking, they can call u, and leave.

9. If they do accept it, thank them and tell them how happy you are

10. If they don't, then give them time. I'm sure they're nervous too, especially in this situation.

11. Good luck my friend. Hope my advice helps, this is just how I would go about it :D

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Newsiesfreak replied...
Oct. 8, 2012 at 7:58 am

I thank you for your advise , but it's going to be a problem getting past number. I swear my foster parents always find a way to yell at me.

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paperflowers replied...
Oct. 14, 2012 at 11:33 am

are you wanting to tell them now? I think it depends on your situation, whether you tell them now, or wait until you're moved out/in college or something. Like, is there a chance you could get kicked out of your house? I wouldn't know, but it's happened to kids before. I don't know what your family situation is like.
Also be prepared that they might just assume it's a phase you'll grow out of. I've heard of that happening before, too. I wish you the best of luck. Sometimes it really does feel much better to get the truth out.

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tatertot15 replied...
Oct. 15, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Maybe start with a support group! Do you have any GSAs at your school? Find someone you trust, an adult or friend and go to your parents with them if you feel comfortable. Personally, myself, I am bi. I haven known since about freshman year, it wasnt easy for me to come out to my foster parents becuz I didnt want to feel like I was burdening them more. Its a big deal to take a stranger into your home and feed them and care for them as your own, but to also be supportive of my lifestyle.. its amazing. I think you should find an adult or a friend you trust.

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