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So. Yeah. Advice Please, From Other Teens Who Don't Date Yet

Bekah.rainbow_dash1 posted this thread...
Sept. 13, 2012 at 11:47 am

Hey!
 
So, I'm a homeschooled Christian teen. Partly by my own choice, and partly by my dad's wish, I don't date. Yeah, 15, and I don't date. Astounding. ;-) 
This is going to be awkward:
I get crushes really easy. Like, in two days, I'm planning my wedding. =P Okay, not THAT serious. But you get the idea.
What do I do when I get this huge crush on a boy I hardly know? All I know is that he's really nice, he's got an awesome voice, (we're in choir together,) he's got a sense of humor, he's *grrr* good looking, he's homeschooled, and he plays guitar.  I don't even know if he's a Christian! And that's a big deal to me.
 
I'm not a flirty person, and I don't want to be. I don't care to date.  So, how do I act? I'm worried that I'm going to do something stupid, or that I'll end up trying to act too much the OPPOSITE of flirty, and being a boring, grumpy, introvert.
Help! Any advice for how I should handle this? Or act? Or anything?

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AsIAm replied...
Sept. 13, 2012 at 11:57 am

You're much stronger than me - I'm a homeschooled Christian teen and, at 16, it's driving me CRAZY that I've never dated. Rainbow dash is my favorite, by the way. But anyway, just become his friend and start treating him like one. Friendships are obviously a behavior pattern you know how to do, so it's not as hard as trying to pull ideas out of your hat. Besides, if you make him your friend, you can start to appreciate him in other ways other than the 'oh gosh it's a BOY' way, and things will get easier. :)
 
- Permanent Friendzone Resident

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Sept. 13, 2012 at 2:34 pm

I have never had a boyfriend. But ask all my guy friends and they'll tell you that I can flirt. Flirting comes with confidence. You feel good about yourself and you can carry on a conversation with a boy then the flirting will just come out. You have to be at ease. :)

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Sept. 13, 2012 at 3:01 pm

AsIAm:
Really?! Personally, I've never even wanted to date, but I guess it could drive you crazy if you wanted to and haven't.... =P  (Ikr, Rainbow Dash is awesome!) 
Thank you so much for the advice. It was really helpful. And honestly, I don't fall for every cute guy. =D But I AM trying to get over my tendancy to think in the "oh gosh it's a BOY" way. XD Thank you again!
 
Amie:
Thanks! Problem is, I don't WANT to act flirty! I mean, I don't want to be the cause of some guy having a problem with lu.sting. When I see some really flirty girl hovering around my older brother, I want to smack her. Especially when she's just playing with him anyway.
(Btw, I'm not meaning that you're a bad person if you act flirty... I'm just saying there's a danger line, especially for me, as a Christian. )

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Queen_Of_Fiction replied...
Sept. 13, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Well, I didn't get my first boyfriend until I was fifteen. Granted, I'm no longer in that relationship as of twelve days ago, but still.
 
My advice would be to start a conversation with this guy. You won't get anywhere if you don't try. Since you took so much notice of his personality and qualities, I'm assuming you're not the type of girl that only pays attention to looks. Which is great. It shouldn't be all about looks. So give it a shot. Start a conversation with him.
 
 
~ Officially Forever-Alone Again Girl

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daisygirl101 replied...
Sept. 13, 2012 at 8:39 pm

Be yourself. Thats what my mom always told me. That way if he does like you, he likes you for you. Not some flirty facade that you put up to attract him. And if you don't want to date you don't have to. You will know when the times right to date when you meet the right person. That way you don't have a bunch of relationships that don't matter:D

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Shannrah replied...
Sept. 13, 2012 at 8:40 pm

I know exactly how you feel! I'm homeschooled and am a chrisitan. Along with it all I'm apart of a lot of homeschool classes outside of my home so you can guess how many guys I run into. And I've had a crushes on the majority of them. 
My problem is I want to talk to them (so I spend about an hour searching them out) but I realize that I don't have anything to talk about. Finally I came to this conclusion: I must force myself not to 'LIKE' them so I 'like' them. I hope that makes sence. 
Basicaly, I don't try to avoid them but I don't search them out. If they want to talk to me they'll come to me. 
 And I understand the whole flirty thing. I don't know how to flirt (although I probably do it quite a bit) and if I do (which I'm pretty sure I do) I don't like it. Because I don't want to give off the wrong idea. 
So short story is, be yourself and if you feel like you have to talk to him talk to God. And don't feel bad about having a crush on a lot of guys. God made us girls that way. Every girl at some point in life feel this way. I know I have.

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AsIAm replied...
Sept. 14, 2012 at 6:36 am

Hey, we're homeschooled. Non-family boys are RARE CREATURES. xD

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Sept. 14, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Amanda:
Thanks! I'm really sorry your relationship didn't work out. =( *hugs*
 
daisygirl101:
That's really helpful; thanks! Yeah, I have to keep telling myself that whenever I want to marry, I want a guy who likes me for who I really am... as in, flaws and all. =)
 
Shannrah:
A KINDRED SPIRIT!! You really do sound like you know how I feel. XD Nice to meet you, by the way! Thank you so much for the advice. You gals have all been very helpful, and I really appreciate it! <3
 
AsIAm:
Hahahahaha. =P Unfortunately, that's what some people think we're really like... XD
 
All: Thank you all so much. I'll have to see how choir-practice Monday goes after all of this advice! =D
 
Hugs to all! *hands out free hugs* <3

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Sept. 18, 2012 at 9:42 am

Aaaand, Monday is past! It went great guys; thanks again for the advice. I felt a little more clear-headed this time, and was able to focus on other people and things too! XD 
 
Of course, it doesn't help me trying to concentrate on other things, when you-know-who is sailing paper-airplanes around the room, (AFTER practice, ;) ), and making the whole room laugh by an impromptu playing of the trumpet section of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" when he's supposed to be accompianing the basses during their practice. =P

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Sept. 18, 2012 at 9:42 am

Aaaand, Monday is past! It went great guys; thanks again for the advice. I felt a little more clear-headed this time, and was able to focus on other people and things too! XD 
 
Of course, it doesn't help me trying to concentrate on other things, when you-know-who is sailing paper-airplanes around the room, (AFTER practice, ;) ), and making the whole room laugh by an impromptu playing of the trumpet section of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" on his electric guitar when he's supposed to be accompanying the basses during their practice. =P

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Sept. 18, 2012 at 9:52 am

Oh I totally get it. I'm not a super flirt either. I don't mess around with ANY guy who's dating or supposedly likes another girl. I don't like that behavior. It's terrible when girls just mess around. I don't like that. I'm for real. :)

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Sept. 19, 2012 at 12:01 pm

well maybe you should ask him and get to know him for a while

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Dec. 30, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Wow, this thread is kinda old. I thought of it the other day, and I was like "My word, I had issues."
Unfortunately, I still like the same guy... but, thankfully, it's not as obsessive.  Problem is, I found out the other day that he might have a girlfriend. =P

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Dec. 30, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Haha, in case that didn't make sense... this is still Bekah. New username and pic, and all that. XD

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Dec. 30, 2012 at 5:23 pm

I'm also a homeschooled Christian (Amazing how many of us there are here, idn't it?), 14 (my birthday is in March), and have never dated. I honestly have no freakin idea what my parents' rules are on the subject. I know that there's no se.x allowed (not that I would anyway), and no exessive making out, but I don't know what the age is. I live out in the country, and all, ALL of my neighbors are over 50. I don't know any boys my age that aren't in my family, so I've never had a  crush.
 
But I am a romantic at heart, and would love to date if I found a nice guy. :p But most of the time, it doesn't bother me too much. I'll meet someone someday when I'm older. :)

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KimKendrickThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Wow, you and I are like, in the same boat.  I'm 13, my birthday is in march, I guess I'm allowed to date, but only on a see each other at school, stay for tutorial and study together basis.  I live in a old people condominium, so there are exactly 0 guys in my entire neighborhood. I guess I am going to be single for a little while longer...

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Snow-White-Queen replied...
Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:06 am

I'm with you, on most fronts. I'm 14 and never dated. I'm waiting for a guy who actually likes me for me and is not asking me out just to have a girlfriend. Both (as in twice)  times I've been asked out in my entire life, that was the reasoning behind it. I don't get why they just don't crown me prom queen already :p

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BlackNether12 replied...
Dec. 31, 2012 at 9:00 am

I'm a homeschooled christian and have never dated . . . it doesn't bother me in the least though. But then again I don't hang around with other kids much so that's no surprise. 
Hope you find a solution to your problem ! 

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Dec. 31, 2012 at 11:32 am

I don't really see myself getting a boyfriend, or even going on a date until I get a job, which, my mom might let me do at 16-17, but probably not until 18. But I'm okay with that. There's no need to rush into anything. :) I would at least like to make a friend though.

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