((This was just a minute ago))
Saint (my computer): *crashes*
Me: *restarts it*
Brother #4: Isn't your show about to start anyway?
Me: Yeah, but it would be rude to leave without saying so first. I can't just leave my internet buddies hanging.
Brother #4: Yeah, at least tighten the noose first.
Me: You should make me shoot a gun.
Boyfriend: You should make me read a book.
"Everytime you talk, I can feel my brain cells commit suicide."- Sir Hammerlock, Borderlands 2
Cricket (a cat): *stares at pot of noisily bubbling stew* *freaking out a little bit*
Me: The cat's going crazy at the pot.
Brother #4: I go crazy around pot, too.
lol that first one was funny, hey Aeliss!!!!! do u remember me??? It's Heather!!!!! *huggles* Im checking in, but I need to study today... I'll leave a quoted conversation though... hmmm...
My sister: Ok, say (to the camera) 'Im in Pennsylvania'
Me: I AM?????
My sister: Haha, yeah we're in Pennsylvania right now
Me: :O 'When did this happen!?' lol thats the best thing I could think of that happened recently... that was winter break.. okay g2g :( byeeeeeeeeeeeee
I remember you! *hug tackles*
This is copied out of an IM chat with Brother #4 (Garyn Dakari) and two of his friends from a different site.
Oliver would be me, as I got magically gender reversed in the conversation.
Garyn Dakari: Hey Ty, you know how to use the forum search,right?
9:50 PM - Taylor: sorta, yeah... why?
9:50 PM - Oliver: Hehehe...
9:51 PM - Garyn Dakari: I found a really fun forum game last night
9:51 PM - Taylor: oh?
9:51 PM - Garyn Dakari: Search the forums, set it to "posts", not "threads", and search the phrase... "Chris blinks in confusion"
9:51 PM - Krystal: *Slides over and puts an arm around Taylor*
Who said I can't think?
9:52 PM - Oliver: You're too busy blinking to think
9:52 PM - Taylor: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
9:52 PM - Garyn Dakari: You've got at least 3 pages of blinking, Chris
9:52 PM - Oliver: Only three?
I guess I'll have to work on that.
9:53 PM - Oliver: I once went over six minutes without blinking
9:53 PM - Oliver: It was amazing
9:53 PM - Taylor: ...
9:53 PM - Garyn Dakari: Chris once went over six seconds without blinking
9:53 PM - Oliver: I've never been able to do it again
9:53 PM - Garyn Dakari: It was amazing
Sis: Your face is funny.
Me: Go take a short walk off a--
Mom: Ooh, you're in trouble...
Me: Off a shorter pier. I was gonna say, GO TAKE A SHORT WALK OFF A SHORTER PIER.
Me: Eww. Why are you buying tuna?
Mom: It's for Daddy. And you can use the cans for your science experiment.
Me: Gross. Cat food.
Little Brother: Why are you buying cat food?
Me: It's tuna. For Daddy.
Little Brother: Oh. But Daddy can't eat it! He's allergic to cats!
Little Brother: The policeman shot him with a knockout gun and hauled him to jail, hey do you wanna come to my bookstore?
Sister #3: *yells* Someones microwave just beeped!
Me: I eat microwaves for breakfast.
Brother #4: Hey! That would be a really great video game villian. He ate a microwave, and turned radioactive!
Brother #4: And THEN, he could eat a bunch of squirrels, and they'd get microwaved, and when he spits them out he'd have an army of irradiated squirrels. AND, he could spit them out at people, shooting evil squirrels at people.
I'm going to write this as if it's a play or something, kay?
(enter Claire- that's me!- Claire's mom, and Claire's 4 year old sister Hannah)
(we are setting up our car for a trip to the mountains)
Mom: Claire come here I need you to help me switch out Hannah's carseat
Hannah: (in little kid voice :)) Why are you.... doing that?
Mom: This other carseat is safer. It will give you better protection (she meant, like, all the twisty, turny, rollercoaster-ish, steep, scary, roads in the mountains)
Hannah: (not knowing this, and in a scared and semi-awestruck voice) You mean, like... from BEARS??????
Claire: (dies laughing)
Ahem. Clownfish do not exactly spontaniously change gender. They are all born male, and then one of them in a group turns into a female, and she is the dominant one of the group. If she dies, one of the males will turn into a female to take her place. Not exactly spontanious. ;p But still really weird. Watching Finding Nemo is really weird for me.
(at school, in gym class, sitting on gym floor with various friends while we wait for other people to finish running. BTW, Claire is me)
Megumi: Hey can you guys see my bra thru this teeshirt
Jenna: You can see everyone's bras thru these teeshirts
Claire: I hate that. We should be able to wear any color teeshirt
Jenna: I have a really weird question. Its on topic since we're talking about bras though
Jenna: Okay, so, you know how you just, like, hug guys? Just as friends
(everyone nods and yeahs)
Jenna: Can they feel your boobs when you hug them?
Claire: I had never even thought about that
Charlotte: Next time I hug a guy I am going to think about that!
Claire: Next time I hug a guy I am going to wonder if HE is thinking about that
Megumi: Next time I hug a guy I'm going to ask him
Megumi: I'm going to ask whoever it is if he can feel my boobs when I hug him
Charlotte: But you have small boobs
Megumi: Shut up
Mack(one of our guy friends who we didn't know had come up behind us and heard only the last little bit of the conversation): I knew girls talked about boobs when they thought no one heard them!
You should see me when my blood sugar is low, it's ridiculous. I once spent ten minutes laughing uncontrolably because I couldn't count the fish in the bowl. :p
Me and siblings: *watching the original Star Trek show*
McCoy: ...Medically, he should just get up and walk off...
Me: Except that he has no pulse.
Sister #3: Or a heartbeat.
Everyone else: *slowly turns heads and looks at her blankly*
Mom: *watching a TV show inwhich she knows the water supply is poisoned*
Character in TV show: *about to drink water*
Mom: *yelling* Don't drink it! Don't drink it! Don't drink it!
*stripper walks on screen*
Mom: DON'T TOUCH IT!
Yesterday, at lunch with my father and brother, celebrating my birthday.
Me: I've just been playing Dark Souls.
Brother: Oh, right. Hey, there's a game where you steal people's souls.
Me: You don't steal people's souls...You just take them... -_-''
Brother: Yeah, in self-defense, right?
Me: Yeah, they attacked first so I took their souls.
Brother: Because you had no other options, of course.
Father: *cracking up.*
Me: S-Shut up ._.
Brother #5: *looks at watch* It's 4:10.
Sister #3: *looks at her watch* 4:12.
Sister #3: I like Foobles.
Me: I said froggies.
Sister #3: Oh.
Brother #5: I'm not a pretty bird.
Brother #4 and I: *in the kitchen, making tea*
Brother #4: *dumps the rest of the sugar container into his cup* Haha, no more sugar.
Me: I wasn't going to use it.
Brother #4: Oh. I was really hoping you were going to.
Me: Speaking of which, Soy Sauce.
Brother #4: High point of everyone's day.
Me: Uh-huh. *leaves the room*
Sister #2: ...And she just leaves.
Brother #4: It's the doom of the universe, a vessel of evil.
Me: It's a mushroom.
Brother #4: We must destroy this foul thing before it destroys us.
Sister #3: *runs over* FIRE!!
Brother #4: You can't kill it with something like fire, it's-
Me: *cuts in* It has anti-inflamitory mushroom juices!
Brother #4: Good for the digestion. But it will still kill you.
Sister #3: Maybe it's just a mushroom.
Brother #4 *takes one lick* Nope, definately the doom of us all.