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Funny/weird conversations/quotes

Jan. 2, 2013 at 7:50 pm

Dad: They are out of grape Powerade.
 
Me: They've got lots of pretty green stuff.
 
Dad: It's pretty but tastes nasty.
 
*later, in a different section*



Dad: There's no grape here, either.
 
Me: There's more of the pretty green stuff.
 
Dad: Never trust anything green.
 
Me: Your jacket is green.
 
Dad: Yeah, I don't trust it worth snot. That's why I always leave it locked in the car.
 
 
****
 
Mom: I feel like an expert now, because I watched all the videos on YouTube.
 
Brother: Yes, you watched all the videos.
 
Mom: No, really. YouTube has videos!
 
Me: Really?! Awesome!
 
Mom: -_- There are so many tutorials, with all those British guys with the cute accents.
 
Me: DAD! Mom's talking about cute British guys!
 
Dad: Oh boy.
 
****
 
Dad: NUTCRAPPER!

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AmieLeeHope-Sierra replied...
Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:48 am

Haha I don't have any funny conversations really. More of gross ones that should be censored with every single word. Lol

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Jan. 3, 2013 at 12:01 pm

Aw, none? :p

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Osvaldo_CThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 3, 2013 at 8:05 pm

*confused*             

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Jan. 3, 2013 at 8:40 pm

Confused about me and my family's conversations, or this thread in general?

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Jan. 3, 2013 at 8:40 pm

Confused about me and my family's conversations, or this thread in general?

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Osvaldo_CThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 3, 2013 at 8:42 pm

Mostly from the first part, sorry.

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Jan. 3, 2013 at 8:45 pm

Well, my family is confusing. :p

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Osvaldo_CThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 3, 2013 at 8:45 pm

They honestly sound like it. But mine is too.

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Jan. 3, 2013 at 8:52 pm

I like my family, even though they are confusing. :) It makes for a lot of funny conversations.
 
 
Brother: How do you collect lava?
 
Sister: Same way you milk a cow, duh.

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SuperFloreeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 3, 2013 at 9:31 pm

OMG I HAVE SOO MANY I HAVE A FREAKING BOOK. NOT. KIDDING. GIMME A SEC, I HAVE THEM POSTED SOMEWHERE ONLINE...
 


*toaster oven dings*

Me: Oh come on! I just sat down!! Mom, can you get that for me?

Mom: Nope.

Me: >.> Cordy? (Cordy's my younger sis)

Cordy: Nope!

Me: -_-; Well I'm not getting up.

Cordy: Then you don't get to eat.

Me: >.> Come on, if I get up and take it out I'll burn myself and then will have to go to the ER and then they'll cut my hand off and then I'll get an infection and die do you really wanna kill me?

Mom: ...

Cordy: I really don't think you're gonna die.

Me: I still might!!



--------------------------------



Mom: I hate your face!!

Me: >.> You are the nicest mom in the world.



---------------------------------



Mom: I don't want to babysit a whiny kid. I hate whiny kids.

Cordy: I'm a whiny kid.

Mom: I hate you too.

Cordy: >.>

Me: *laughs* Seriously, you are the nicest mom in the world.

Cordy: Seriously.

Dad: Yeah, if we could get rid of you we would, but we can't.

Cordy: >.>



---------------------------------



Me: Haha, yeah, no one likes Cordelia.

Cordy:

Jessie: (a friend of mine) XD

Me: Everybody loves you!~

Jessie:

Me: ... yeah no, not really.

Jessie:



---------------------------------



Dad: *drinks some Sunkist*

Me: *has gone crazy for some reason* No daddy!! *points to a bottle of Russian soda we randomly bought* Drink your special juice!! XDDD

Dad: >.>

Me: N-no wait, your special liquids!! *laughs hysterically*

Cordy: ....

Me: SPECIAL LIQUIDS!!! THAT SOUNDS SO WEIRD!!!!! XDDDD

Cordy: ... issues Flo, issues.



--------------------------------



Me: O.O It's so quiet it's scaring me.

Cordy: Then turn on the tv?

Me: How?

Cordy: Push the power button on the tv?

Me: o.o There's a power button on the tv?!

Cordy: >.> Yes Flo, amazing isn't it?



--------------------------------



Cordy: Daddy, are you gonna make a square?

Me: No, he's gonna make a triangle with four sides.



--------------------------------



Teacher: Well hopefully you brought your text book home and it's at a prominent place on your desk.

Me: ....nope.

Teacher: *goes off and continues talking*

Me: It's.... sorta a doorstop -_-;

Classmate: O.O Pfft... *laughs*

Me:



--------------------------------



Me: Oooh look a bagel! *takes bagel and pretends to eat it*

Cordy: No! *runs over and takes bagel*

Me:

Cordy: ... *slaps me with the bagel*

Me: Ow!! You just slapped me with a bagel!!

Cordy: Cuz you pretended to eat it!!



--------------------------------



Cordy: Stand still.

Me: OH GOD NO. *runs away*



--------------------------------

(the next two quotes contain the same people, so the same classmate has the same number in each quote and will be abreviated C1, C2, and C3)



C1: I smell like play dough for no reason!!

Me: I sometimes smell like burnt rubber for no reason!!

C2: I finally got to write something down!!

C4: OWW MY RIB CAGE!!!!!



--------------------------------



C3: If I was a country, I wouldn't wanna be Greece cuz all he does is sit around and pet cats.

Me: O.O Pfft.... *starts laughing*

C1+2:

C3: *laughs* And France is a perv!!

Me: *laughs even harder*

C2: How is France a perv?!

C3: ENGLAND CAN SURE HOLD HIS LIQUOR!!!

Me: XDDD DUDE YOU'RE KILLING ME!!!

C2: HOW DOES ENGLAND HOLD LIQUOR??!?!?!

Me+C3: *laughing hysterically*

C3: IT'S FUNNIER CUZ YOU GUYS DON'T UNDERSTAND!!! XDDD

Me: *laughing too hard to talk*



---------------------------------



*my family's talking about weird stuff the Chinese eat*

Me: They eat bull pe.nis!

Dad: Oh they eat all kinds of pen.ises. They love their pen.ises.

Me: So China loves pen.ises? Oh my dirty mind....



---------------------------------

 

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SuperFloreeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 3, 2013 at 9:32 pm

Both classmates are girls in the following quote.



C1: Hey, *beckons for C2 to come with her index finger* Come.

C2: *walks over*

C1: I just made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand~



-------------------------------------------------



Me: *has a deck of cards in my mouth*

Cordy: *flicking at the cards in my mouth*

Me: >.> *takes cards outta my mouth and looks at them* Oh crap there are teeth marks...

Cordy: o.o Pfft...

Mom: What?

Me: Um, nothing!!

Cordy: Yeah, nothing!

Mom: >.>

Me: ... YOUR FACE. IT'S BEAUTIFUL.



-------------------------------------------------



Me: *trying to figure out how to make fingerless gloves* Well, there's people who cut the sleeves off old t-shirts, I could do that. Mom, do we have any black long-sleeved t-shirts?

Cordy: What's a long-sleeved t-shirt?

Me: >.> Shut up. It's a long-sleeved shirt. It's still shaped like a T.

Cordy: Not really, it sorta goes down...

Me: I said shut up!!



-------------------------------------------------



Mom: *on computer* Again?

Me: What?

Cordy: They keep putting the slow cooker in her cart for absolutely no reason. They want you to buy the slow cooker mommy!! XDD

Me: XDDD IT'S A SIGN!!!!



-------------------------------------------------



Teacher: Yes, internal conflicts. Man vs Self.

C1: Man vs Man?

Teacher: Yes, Man vs Man.

C1: Man vs Food!

Teacher: No, not Man vs Food.



-------------------------------------------------



C1: Okay, so what do I do now?

Me: You have to trace all of these onto separate sheets of paper put don't cut then out yet since you're supposed to then trace it onto the tag board and try to get as much as you can on one sheet to not waste and then cut those out and glue them onto a paper with foam things.

C1: .... okay.

Me: .............. *looks up* I don't know what I just said what did I just say?

C1: I don't know, I stopped listening.



-------------------------------------------------



Me: *looking at closed door* Are we allowed to go in?

C1: Yeah, if the door's unlocked, you can go in. It's like that for everything. If his zipper's down, it's approved.

Me: o.o *bursts out laughing*



-------------------------------------------------

In the next quote, C1 is Chinese and C2 is Black.



C1: I wear a push-up bra.

C2: You're wearing a push-up bra? I would never wear a push up bra cuz I'm uncomfortable with my bre.asts.

C1: OMG just trade bo.obs with me.

Me: How weird would that be? Imagine me in the morning, getting dressed, and I just have these weird yellow bo.obs.

Me: *looks up from reading* Wait, what?

C2: Oh we were just talking about bo.obs.

Me: ... see, this is what happens when I look away for ten seconds. You guys start talking about bo.obs.



-------------------------------------------------



C1: I'm serious, me and my brother would each down a bottle of NyQuil... and then Santa comes.



-------------------------------------------------



C1: I'm varsity everything. Name a sport, I'm varsity in it. Croquet? Varsity.

C2: Golf?

C1 I'm just as good as you dude, just let me break both your arms.



-------------------------------------------------



C1: Oh my god, I'm like, so pis.sed right now.

Me: Why?

C1: I have a 79.97% in this class.

Me: Wow, close.

C1: Yeah, I gotta get a 2/2 on the quiz tomorrow. What's your grade?

Me: Um... 98.6-something



-------------------------------------------------



Teacher: Opinions are like underwear. You should all have your own. You should inspect them regularly to see if you should change them. And every once in a while, you can buy something sassy.



-------------------------------------------------



Teacher: What's Chapter 1 called?

C1: I don't remember.

C2: Is it Great Expectations?

Teacher: No, it's called Chapter 1.

C1+C2: ... oh.



--------------------------------------------------



Teacher: Pinocytosis is if it's liquid. Like pe.nis. A pe.nis gives off liquid, pino deals with liquids. Hey, if it helps you remember, it works.

C1: ... that is not what I was thinking.

Me: XD



--------------------------------------------------



Teacher: So first we talked about addiction now we're talking about abuse!

Me: This is a great class.



--------------------------------------------------



C1: So what if we were the Axis?

Me: Hey, can I take a nap? -_-

C1+C2: ... Italy.

Me: >.> I'm just tired.

C2: Too bad, you're stuck with him.

Me: e.e;



--------------------------------------------------



C1: Estella dies.

C2: Really?

C3: No she doesn't!

C1: Yes she does. She gets ra.ped by a polar bear then dies.

C3: e.e;

C4: Wait, who gets ra.ped by a polar bear?!

Me: XD



---------------------------------------------------



C1: *holds up 4 fingers* How many fingers am I holding up?

C2: 69.

C3: .....

C1: .....

Me: Pfft....

C3: ... was that a sexual reference?



----------------------------------------------------



Me: CALL ME NEE-CHAN!!!!

Cordy: NUUUU Imma call you Chicken Wing Demented Potato.

Me: ... wut?

Cordy: Chicken Wing Demented Potato.

Me: Okay... I prefer nee-chan.

Cordy: Too bad. Hi Chicken Wing Demented Potato!!

Me: Don't you think that's a bit long?

Cordy: Fine, you'll just be Demented Potato =^=



-----------------------------------------------------



C1: Well if I poured gasoline on myself I'd kinda burn everyone.

Teacher: ..... >.>



-----------------------------------------------------



Me: *eating not paying attention*

Dad: *says something to mom about me*

Me: *tunes back in* ... wut?

Dad: I said you were like mommy.

Me: ... wut?

Dad: >.> Except you're really boyish. Mom isn't boyish at all. No girl in our family is. Where did you get it from?

Me: I dunno.

Dad: >.> You need to learn to be more girly.

Me: ... *burps loudly then grins*

Dad: e.e;

Me: XD *laughs obnoxiously*



------------------------------------------------------



C1: I will proliferate your mother.



------------------------------------------------------



Me: You know you've been on FanFiction too much when the line "This is a story about three boys who set out on a peaceful weekend trip only to find some unexpected excitement" from your school textbook sounds like the summary for sm.ut.



------------------------------------------------------



Teacher: So can't you say Japan is in bed with Germany?

Me: O.O Pfft... *starts laughing*

Teacher: Eh, you like that one? I've been working on it all day.

C2: It was pretty good.

Me: N-no... XDD

C1: XD It's sorta an inside joke for us.

Me: *still laughing* I really don't think Italy's gonna be too happy about that...

C1: XDDDD Shut up!!!

Me" *continues laughing*

Teacher: ... well, I'm glad you're back with us Flo. (Cuz I was like sleeping before this... )



------------------------------------------------------



Teacher: On Monday, you're gonna have a baby with you table partner.

C1: Again?

C2: Wait, there's three of us o.o

C3: ...

Teacher: *shrugs*



I KNOW I HAVE MORE. LEMME GO FIND THEM.

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SuperFloreeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 3, 2013 at 9:36 pm

SDAFASD; IT WONT LEMME POST THE REST OF THEM OAO

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SuperFloreeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 3, 2013 at 9:37 pm

Both classmates are girls in the following quote.



C1: Hey, *beckons for C2 to come with her index finger* Come.

C2: *walks over*

C1: I just made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand~

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SuperFloreeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 3, 2013 at 9:39 pm

Me: *has a deck of cards in my mouth*

Cordy: *flicking at the cards in my mouth*

Me: >.> *takes cards outta my mouth and looks at them* Oh cr.ap there are teeth marks...

Cordy: o.o Pfft...

Mom: What?

Me: Um, nothing!!

Cordy: Yeah, nothing!

Mom: >.>

Me: ... YOUR FACE. IT'S BEAUTIFUL.



-------------------------------------------------



Me: *trying to figure out how to make fingerless gloves* Well, there's people who cut the sleeves off old t-shirts, I could do that. Mom, do we have any black long-sleeved t-shirts?

Cordy: What's a long-sleeved t-shirt?

Me: >.> Shut up. It's a long-sleeved shirt. It's still shaped like a T.

Cordy: Not really, it sorta goes down...

Me: I said shut up!!



-------------------------------------------------



Mom: *on computer* Again?

Me: What?

Cordy: They keep putting the slow cooker in her cart for absolutely no reason. They want you to buy the slow cooker mommy!! XDD

Me: XDDD IT'S A SIGN!!!!



-------------------------------------------------



Teacher: Yes, internal conflicts. Man vs Self.

C1: Man vs Man?

Teacher: Yes, Man vs Man.

C1: Man vs Food!

Teacher: No, not Man vs Food.



-------------------------------------------------



C1: Okay, so what do I do now?

Me: You have to trace all of these onto separate sheets of paper put don't cut then out yet since you're supposed to then trace it onto the tag board and try to get as much as you can on one sheet to not waste and then cut those out and glue them onto a paper with foam things.

C1: .... okay.

Me: .............. *looks up* I don't know what I just said what did I just say?

C1: I don't know, I stopped listening.



-------------------------------------------------



Me: *looking at closed door* Are we allowed to go in?

C1: Yeah, if the door's unlocked, you can go in. It's like that for everything. If his zipper's down, it's approved.

Me: o.o *bursts out laughing*



-------------------------------------------------

In the next quote, C1 is Chinese and C2 is Black.



C1: I wear a push-up bra.

C2: You're wearing a push-up bra? I would never wear a push up bra cuz I'm uncomfortable with my bre.asts.

C1: OMG just trade bo.obs with me.

Me: How weird would that be? Imagine me in the morning, getting dressed, and I just have these weird yellow bo.obs.

Me: *looks up from reading* Wait, what?

C2: Oh we were just talking about bo.obs.

Me: ... see, this is what happens when I look away for ten seconds. You guys start talking about bo.obs.



-------------------------------------------------



C1: I'm serious, me and my brother would each down a bottle of NyQuil... and then Santa comes.



-------------------------------------------------



C1: I'm varsity everything. Name a sport, I'm varsity in it. Croquet? Varsity.

C2: Golf?

C1 I'm just as good as you dude, just let me break both your arms.



-------------------------------------------------



C1: Oh my god, I'm like, so pis.sed right now.

Me: Why?

C1: I have a 79.97% in this class.

Me: Wow, close.

C1: Yeah, I gotta get a 2/2 on the quiz tomorrow. What's your grade?

Me: Um... 98.6-something



-------------------------------------------------



Teacher: Opinions are like underwear. You should all have your own. You should inspect them regularly to see if you should change them. And every once in a while, you can buy something sassy.



-------------------------------------------------



Teacher: What's Chapter 1 called?

C1: I don't remember.

C2: Is it Great Expectations?

Teacher: No, it's called Chapter 1.

C1+C2: ... oh.



--------------------------------------------------



Teacher: Pinocytosis is if it's liquid. Like p.enis. A p.enis gives off liquid, pino deals with liquids. Hey, if it helps you remember, it works.

C1: ... that is not what I was thinking.

Me: XD



--------------------------------------------------



Teacher: So first we talked about addiction now we're talking about abuse!

Me: This is a great class.



--------------------------------------------------



C1: So what if we were the Axis?

Me: Hey, can I take a nap? -_-

C1+C2: ... Italy.

Me: >.> I'm just tired.

C2: Too bad, you're stuck with him.

Me: e.e;



--------------------------------------------------



C1: Estella dies.

C2: Really?

C3: No she doesn't!

C1: Yes she does. She gets ra.ped by a polar bear then dies.

C3: e.e;

C4: Wait, who gets ra.ped by a polar bear?!

Me: XD



---------------------------------------------------



C1: *holds up 4 fingers* How many fingers am I holding up?

C2: 69.

C3: .....

C1: .....

Me: Pfft....

C3: ... was that a se.xual reference?



----------------------------------------------------



Me: CALL ME NEE-CHAN!!!!

Cordy: NUUUU Imma call you Chicken Wing Demented Potato.

Me: ... wut?

Cordy: Chicken Wing Demented Potato.

Me: Okay... I prefer nee-chan.

Cordy: Too bad. Hi Chicken Wing Demented Potato!!

Me: Don't you think that's a bit long?

Cordy: Fine, you'll just be Demented Potato =^=



-----------------------------------------------------



C1: Well if I poured gasoline on myself I'd kinda burn everyone.

Teacher: ..... >.>



-----------------------------------------------------



Me: *eating not paying attention*

Dad: *says something to mom about me*

Me: *tunes back in* ... wut?

Dad: I said you were like mommy.

Me: ... wut?

Dad: >.> Except you're really boyish. Mom isn't boyish at all. No girl in our family is. Where did you get it from?

Me: I dunno.

Dad: >.> You need to learn to be more girly.

Me: ... *burps loudly then grins*

Dad: e.e;

Me: XD *laughs obnoxiously*



------------------------------------------------------



C1: I will proliferate your mother.



------------------------------------------------------



Me: You know you've been on FanFiction too much when the line "This is a story about three boys who set out on a peaceful weekend trip only to find some unexpected excitement" from your school textbook sounds like the summary for sm.ut.



------------------------------------------------------



Teacher: So can't you say Japan is in bed with Germany?

Me: O.O Pfft... *starts laughing*

Teacher: Eh, you like that one? I've been working on it all day.

C2: It was pretty good.

Me: N-no... XDD

C1: XD It's sorta an inside joke for us.

Me: *still laughing* I really don't think Italy's gonna be too happy about that...

C1: XDDDD Shut up!!!

Me" *continues laughing*

Teacher: ... well, I'm glad you're back with us Flo. (Cuz I was like sleeping before this... )



------------------------------------------------------



Teacher: On Monday, you're gonna have a baby with you table partner.

C1: Again?

C2: Wait, there's three of us o.o

C3: ...

Teacher: *shrugs*

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SuperFloreeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 3, 2013 at 9:40 pm

THERE WE GO. NOW LEMME FIND SOME MOAR~~~

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SuperFloreeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 3, 2013 at 9:44 pm

from some guy in my sis's class:



"If I had a million dollars, I'd spend it all on strawberry gum."
 
 
"There are 62 days in January during February!" -My sis (Do not ask)
 
 
"So how did the guy who discovered milk explain what he was doing to the cow?" My sis said she found this somewhere, but she can't remember where XD
 
 
"NO, I ran into the door WAY more time than that!" -me
 
 
"People commit suicide because of many problems? Math book, WHY U NO SUICIDE?!?! " - IFunny pic
 
 
"What do you mean I did badly on time?!" - Okami, Chuggaaconroy
 
 
"Do you want to spend your whole life behind a dog's butt?" -Dude in my class
 
 
"I heart baby fluids" -dude in my class again
 
 
Sis: Tingle, tingle...



Me: (joins in) koo loo...



Together: limp-ah!!



Me: ... We are officially idiots
 
 
"Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock!" -Big Bang Theory
 
 
 
" When in Rome, do what the Canadians do! French Canadians, that is"



- Tamaki from TheClassyPeanuts OHSHC Parody
 
 
"Don't use my sandwich as a phone!" -Me yelling at my sis
 
 
Some aren't from my life but they're funny either way :P

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Jan. 3, 2013 at 9:50 pm

Me: Hey look, a hawk!
 
Brother: A what?
 
Sister: That's not a bird, that's a car, stupid. (There were no cars in the area)
 
______________________
 
Brother #5: People have knuckles.
 
Brother #4: Not everyone.
 
Brother #3: Jellyfish don't.
 
Brother #4: That should be on a T-shirt; Most people have knuckles, but jellyfish don't.
 
 
_____________________________________
 
(While meeting a guy I've never met before in Fred Meyer)
 
Guy: That hat isn't you, your brother should be wearing it. *tries to take my hat*
 
Me: *leans away* O_O
 
Guy: *bursts out laughing* You look like I'm going to bite you. Why would I bite you?
 
Me: *shrug* It's been known to happen.
 
Guy: I have never bitten you.
 
Siblings: *laughing their heads off*

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Jan. 3, 2013 at 9:53 pm

Me: *stares at three goldfish in bowl on dining room table* OH MY GOSH. I CAn'T COUNT THEM. THERE. ARE. TOO. MANY. I mean, there were THREE. NOW THERE ARE LIKE, SIX-NO!!! SEVEN! AH! TWELVE!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA *bangs head against table* I'M SO STUPID!!!
 
Three of my siblings in the kitchen: O.O HAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Jan. 3, 2013 at 9:58 pm

Me: What did you do with my acorn caps!?
 
Sister: Uh....
 
Me: I NEEDS them! DX
 
______________________________________
 
Me: ♪Bob Bob Bob Bobbobobobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbobbob
 
Sister: *laughing her purple head off*
 
Me: *two hours later* BobBobBobBobBob
 
Sister: *laughing her purple head off*

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