For the longest time ever, I’ve faced severe depression. I tried cutting once or twice, but the idea of leaving scars was something I didn’t want to do. Instead, I starve myself to fill up that empty void in my heart. I’ve been so depressed lately; nothing seems to be getting better. In the past two days, I tried committing suicide about five times. I hate it. I hate my life.
To make it worse, my mom has always been abusive to me. My mom is so verbally abusive. I hate being called names every day of my life. I hate being told how ugly, stupid, and worthless I am. I know that I’m ugly, stupid, and worthless. Why does she keep on reminding me that? I even have it written on a post-it note: "You’re ugly, stupid, and worthless. You’re not worth living." So, really, she doesn’t have to waste her breath.
I wake up every day, hating myself. I wish I was someone else except for me. And I even have really bad social problems, so it’s hard for me to speak up to anyone. But that’s okay, life wasn’t meant for me.
How do I overcome this suicidal feeling at this very moment? :'(
In order to overcome the suicidal thoughts, you have to overcome the life isn't meant for me thinking. You aren't stupid or ugly or worhtless. The real people who are those things are the attention w.hores who will stoop to the level of calling someone else those things to boost there own self esteem.
You said you don't cut because you don't want to leave scars. That says that somewhere in your mind you don't want to ruin what you have.
I don't know you and I haven't talked to you until now. But if you need someone to speak to, I'm here. :)
Burn the sticky note.
Then tell someone about your mom, someone who can help. You won't have to stay with your mom forever, it is TEMPORARY. Death is PERMANANT. Don't waste your life, it may be bad right now but it will be better someday.
Yes, THROW AWAY THAT STICKY NOTE. BURN IT. TEAR IT TO BITS. YOU CANT TELL URSELF THAT STUFF. ITS SO BAD... SO SO BAD. ITS UNHEALTHY TO THINK LIKE THAT. Sweetie, please please dont think like that. halfofus . c om can help. I think u really need to talk to someeone. someone thats physically there and can help you.
Omigoodness, I'm so sorry Rosie! I just realized our earlier thread slipped from my mind – I usually can't get on much on Sundays, so it must have slid off from the first page by the next time I was able to get on, and I couldn't even get on that much on Monday...anyway, enough about my stupid rambling.
Rosie, first of all, I'd like you to realize that you ARE beautiful, that you ARE intelligent, and that you ARE worthwhile, okay?
For the bit I got to know you, I honestly think you're a pretty cool person, and wanted to get to know you better. And when I say this, I truly mean it, Rosie – I don't say things just to fill the air with stupid crap.
Now, there is something I need you to do for me. But first, I need you to promise that you'll try - at least to the best of your ability - to fulfill it, okay? It's not anything that's like, bad, or something.
You only want plastic surgery because you've been through such harsh verbal abuse.
What you need to realize, is that the only reason why anyone would call you ugly is because you are beautiful. No one would waste there time to put down something who really was below them.
It's a power complex, as long as those people who really are superior feel lower than them, then they can function.
I highly doubt you are ugly. I have no idea what you look like but people are usually much more judgmental about themselves than anyone else. Do you ever think that anyone else is 'ugly'? Plastic surgery is not the answer.
*Hugs Rosie TIGHTLY* You're none of those things; you're not stupid, you're not ugly and you are not worthless AT ALL. Suicide is not the way to go; there's more to life, a reason to live and keep fighting. Ignore the negative things that your mom says to you; focus on the positive. It's good that you don't like cutting. It's not good and healthy; it's just painful and leaves you feeling guilty about doing it. *Hugs Rosie MORE TIGHTLY* Don't think about the bad things; think about the good things ^_^
Bad thoughts = T_T
Good thoughts = ^_^
*Hugs Rosie TIGHTER*
Okay, sorry, I had a long post typed out – I'll retype it in a sec – but I need you to do something for me Rosie. Promise me you'll do it? It's not anything you couldn't or shouldn't do, and I need you to do it for me.
(Also, I'm so sorry about not replying to our other thread – I usually can't get on much on Sundays, and I wasn't able to get on much on this past Monday as well, so it must've slipped my mind when I didn't see it on the first page when I got back)
I saw a family once who was physicaly 'ugly'. Probably the most unattractive people I've ever seen in person.
I thought they were beautiful. They didn't look self concious, they looked happy. They looked happy with the way they were. Even if you are 'ugly', it doesn't effect you.
No problem, I'm glad you're feeling better! If you ever need to talk just say so. :) *hugs Rosie*
*Hugs Rosie so TIGHTLY* I was writing something and it got deleted! -_-' *Hugs Rosie TIGHTER* I'm glad you are feeling better Rosie ^_^ *Hugs Rosie TIGHTER* And now I must crush you!!! ^_^
Yay, I'm glad you feel better. And now that you are better, what do you think it will take to make sure you are never in that dark spot again. I know it's scary when you don't know whether or not you want to live or die.
Bear! We don't want too many zombies running around, or we'll all be eaten! DX
Okay, now as to what I typed up before my post got eaten up by the stupid filter (all I said was "cr.ap"! Geez, I think teenagers can handle that one *rolls eyes*)
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you, Rosie, that you ARE beautiful, that you ARE intelligent, and that you ARE worthwhile, so just ignore what you mom (what kind of mother says that to her own daughter, anyway? She doesn't even deserve the title of "mom") and whoever else is saying things like that that, because they certainly aren't your time.
Also, I just wanted to further emphasize that you are a pretty cool person. I mean, we haven't had the chance to talk all that much with each other, but I wanted to get to know you better :).
Anyway, I'm glad you're feeling better now :). If you ever feel this way again, just come to TI, no matter what time it is – we'll always be here to help you :)
Is she physically abusive too...can you tell her to stop. Sometimes all it takes is to make that person prove that you have a backbone...even if that person is your mother.
But-but I love hugs, Aeliss! T^T *Starts crushing Rosie in hug*
What do YOU say to ur mom when she's saying that rude nonsense?
"No one is ugly; we're all beautiful and unique; like a butterfly's wings, beauty shows, beauty lies within the heart. Your eyes so dazzling, your smile breathtaking; everyone is beautiful; inside and out. You are beautiful no matter what; beauty lies within your heart, beauty lies within you. Your kindness flowing through; that warm smile of your's; so welcoming, so kind. Laughter brightens your lovely face, your smile a dazzling sight. My goodness you're like a butterfly! There's always beauty in everyone, inside and out. Let it shine through you; let it touch the hearts of other and melt away those awful feelings. We're all butterflies; our wings dazzling in different colors; roses amount the thorns. We're all beautiful no matter what; you're beautiful because you are you. Dazzling butterflies that are beautiful outside....and inside."
That wasn't a quote, I- er write it....*Hugs Rosie TIGHTLY* Darn writerSide! -_-'