Ok so I want to write the best fiction story ever so here goes. Lets start with this: She wasn't always so fake. I remember the days when we used to play in the snow, creating creatures in the white swirl. Now though, she is a different person.
The two of us were so close. It was always us two and now it's only her and her new groupie. Instead of creating beautiful things in the snow they go about destroying them and laughing their full-of-themselves laughs. I know what happened, but is that an excuse to leave your very bestfriend for them.
And then the day before spring break they all dressed up like santas little helpers. Baseball guys checking them out. It angers me. What happened to her. She used to be so innocent
I watch them in disgust. Where went the innocence? Why is she full of herself? Her friends give her the attention she tells herself she deserves. She portrays a different girl from just a year before. I yell 'Ho, ho, ho!' to them and I don't mean it in a jolly way. I hope she doesn't have a merry christmas, but by the candy-cane grams she recieves at school and the winks she gets from guys, I know I won't be so lucky to have my wish come true.
Where did the innocence go? It's as if it flew away in a gusty wind this winter. She portrays a different girl from just a year before. I watch them in disgust and I shiver, not from the cold, either. I hope she doesn't have a merry Christmas but from the candy-cane grams and winks she and her new friends recieve I know that I couldn't be so lucky for my wish to come true.
Unlike her, I have no friends left. Well sorta, unless you could April Smith who is a total loser but were math partners and she thinks were BFF's oh well. I guess when your funny, popular, pretty best friend dumps you, everything goes out the window as well.
April is the kind of girl she and I would make fun of. And maybe that's part of the reason my only friend IS April. But then again, before Clair so eagerly dropped me, we would talk about the girls she now calls her bestfriend. Isn't it funny? Merry christmas to me. I'll go drown myself in a cup of hot chocolate and she'll go endulge on a child-sized salad.. otherwise, they may drop her. She has to perfect..
HAS to be perfect! And skinny. I remember the days when we used to joke about the "barbies" now she's one of them.
I can't belive how far she has fallen. I want nothing more than to forget about her. And yet here i sit, spending my time thinking about her and her friends and her life. why do i care so much? I tell myself that it is because i wish i could fix her, help her. But that isn't the real reason, is it. No, the reason i care is because deep down I wish i was just like her.
I wish my legs were sticks, wait no I don't. I mean, I kinda just wish that they were skinnier, leaner, more muscular but not bulky. She is pretty, I never questioned that. Her beauty and my apparent jealousy were always there back to first grade we go. It was always Claire and Brit, her name first on everything. While I, a small pudgy 5 year old, waited in the wings while my best friend took the spot light. But I still loved her. Seeing her now makes me question that love though. Did I always do it for the popularity? Or was that kindred spirits relationship real? Like when we played Polly pockets in the park, how come she always got the skinny blond one? I mean they were all skinny, but the blond matched my hair. She always said she liked blond better. I gues that's why she now has blond hair. Guess that's why she's a Barbie
She and I didn't call each other bestfriends. Sisters. Family. That's what we were and when all else fails family doesn't. But, I guess that's not true. I guess that's a lie just like our relationship. I thought that being a barbie, being perfect wasn't important, but when I look at her and see that it is I get a thought. What if maybe- no. Stop thinking about this, that's not me. But, it keeps taking over my thoughts. It tackles all else in my brain and jumps up and says just listen and think it over. So, what if I went and changed? I have money that I have been saving for a trip this summer that WE were supposed to go on. I don't need it anymore, right? I need this, to be perfect, maybe even more so than she. I will use it to buy new clothes. To buy makeup. I'll do whatever it takes to be the first-choice barbie that people pick first. The blonde one, with the perfect waist. I'll be her and I don't really care what she is. Or do I? No. I don't.
Fine then, fine, i will be the best friend that she wants. I will shop at all her overly priced stores and wear pounds of makeup. I will be her. Then she will be forced to take me back, because her posse will love me. I will be the better version of her. And when i have her in my grasp, i will, I WILL, change her. If it takes all iv'e got. I will do it.
But it won't. I know that now. I know only because I tried, tried to change her long, long ago. I ended up failing. Of course it would never work. You can't hope to change a person who doesn't want to change. And Claire never liked change. When we were younger, she would throw a fit if something was just the tiniest bit out of place. Later, in middle school, she insisted on keeping the locker next to that cute boy's even though Rasmussen and Mierck are nowhere near each other in the alphabet. But I stayed by her side. Being Miller, that ensured we would be close to each other for all of middle school. Well... close enough.
I tell myself this as i lay in bed. But the next morning i do exactly what i know is a feeble and shallow thing to do. I wake up, and i put on makeup and do my hair and cut up my shirt to get "the look" she always wears. I turn to look at myself in the mirror and I......I feel....pretty.
i walk through the halls of the school admiring my new admirers. I can feel every set of eyes on me. Unnerving, yet exciting. I can see Clair sitting at her usual table. I head straight for her. Ha! she's wearing the same shirt as me! I see her head turn. She's looking straight at me! I can see the shock on her face, and is that a hint of...anger? no of course not, she smiles and waves me over. Now she finally notices me! I pick up the pace, and i walk straight past April. I watch out of the corner of my eye as she smiles at me, expecting me to sit down. But I don't. I see as she watches me go with a confused look on her face.
i can feel my heart sink.
but only for a moment.
She waves her manicured hand in my face.
"Long time, no see". She smiles full of perfect teeth.
"Yeah, Claire, totally." The smile shifts from approval to something else....jealousy?
"Brit, so pulling off that shirt!"She tugs on the hem, gleam in her eye.
"You too Claire," i respond, "Looks great!". I set my tray down next to her...boyfriend? She laughs at something Maria said accrpss the table. Forced joy warbles over to me.
"Yeah me and Brit are like besties" she lis through gritted teeth when Mari asks. "Well, we were. But hey, always time to get to know each other again!"
I want to scream inside! Get to know eachother!! I have known you since pre-k. My voice echos around in my mind, and I swallow the bile rising up in my throat. "Yeah Claire," I say, "Can't wait to get to know you!" I force a smile and pick at my alad. Jeremy.. her boyfriends, burger is taunting me. I want it so badly.
I swallow a few more swigs of water, bow my head and let my self sink into the plastic chatter.
"Sooo, Brit. How come we never saw you around?" Rachel asks. I gulp.
"Um, I guess...I dunno." I stutter. What would Claire say? "You know, I've been really busy. with my.... boyfriend. He's totally cool!" I let my voice trail off into a fangirl squeal. I have a boyfriend now? Nice one, Brit. You wish.
"Omigod, seriously?" Mari asked. "What's his name?"
"Um, it's....well you wouldn't know him. I met him over the summer...at the beach. He's a lifeguard."
Claire glanced at me from the corner of her eye, and for a minute I though I saw the old Claire.
Yes, the old Claire, but only for a second. I stammer on for on,
"You know, he's like a junior. Um... names Theo. Real nice, always buys me dinner and like we go swimming when hes off duty. I see him on weekends. He lives in Maine. So you totally wouldn't know him." For an excrutianting second everyone stares at me, and I am faced with the harsh reality of my unbelievable story. I am saved when Claire bursts out laughing.
"Brit!!! We like have to go shopping or something, and you can totally bring your boyfrined to the spring fling, would be totally great to see hime. Text him okay??" She smiles and places a manicured hand in Jeremy's. Rachel leans accross the table to whisper into Mari's ear. I look at my almost done salad praying for the lunch period to end. Rachel is about to ask me about my "boyfriend" when I am saved by the bell. This time.
On my way to class I see Claire out of the corner of my eye. Please, don't come over here. Please, don't-
"Hey! Long time no talk, eh? Can't wait to meet your boyfriend! Our boyfriends can totally hang out!"
"Yeah, it'll be like old times.." Why did I say that? At lunch she was acting like there was no such thing as old times.
"I would definetly like to get to know the both of you. Old times have been so long ago you know. People change."
Well she was right. People do change. Some change quite a bit more than others. And some lie that they have boyfriends. What am I going to do? Well.. there is Jarrod. He and I almost had a conversation in seventh grade. If I could just get him to look at me, at my new improved self..
"Hey Jarrod!" I said, when I saw him on the way to World History. He was balancing a complicated-looking circuit or something and carrying his books under his arm. Too late, I realized that he was now a geek. "Oh, hey, er....Brit? Is that your name?" "Yes," I replied, mentally rolling my eyes. "Do you still read Lewis Carroll?" he asked. I was confused. Lewis Carroll? How had he got into this conversation? Then I remembered that Alice in Wonderland had been my favourite story in 7th grade. There was probably some connection there, I thought. "Uh, no, it's so babyish..... I don't really read much anymore. I got other things to do. You know, hanging with my friends, that kind of thing." Jarrod for some reason looked disappointed. As if he had liked my geeky, bookwormy 7th grade self.
((I reject letting this thread die! I'd feel weird actually continuing this without "girl mind" writing instruction, being a guy, but maybe one day. For now, I'll let others continue this wonderful specimen of a story.))