My principal forgot to tell us about the PSAT when school started. It's on the 16th, but I can't get myself to study. I checked out two of my favorite books from the library, but they aren't stirring anything. There is another book in my locker--Julia Cameron's "The Sound of Paper". Reading it helped me identify what is going on in my head just now, but that's all.
I watched "The Time Traveler's Wife" and "Pan's Labyrinth" last weekend. One made me cry a little, the other made me gasp and grin. The emotional slaking didn't last. Why do I feel thirsty all the time? Is it because Ms. Cameron described my condition as a drought? She was right.
I thought taking a break from writing would help. I was going to enter an art contest, but I haven't drawn anything.
I want to throw myself in the McKenzie River. Gloriously cold and smooth and fast. I will never forget that swim at Green Island, where I found a kingfisher feather. It was fantastically freezing, and that was far downstream on an 85 degree day. The boulder pools between the rapid and frothy blue upper stream in the mountains are too cold for me to swim in. Someday, I'll be less of a wimp.
For once I have something else to think about. After going to visit my dad for six years, he is actually coming here. He'll get to see.....where I live....
If you would be so kind as to tell me the location of Neverland and tell me if the Little Princes sheep has eaten his rose. These days, I dont know anymore....
I've been watching Pretty Little Liars for the past three hours. It is litteraly the best show ever.
Today was a b----. I can't take this monotony. The work isn't hard, it just never ends. I don't want to die, but at the same time I don't want to live. I'm tired of everything, but I can't sleep unless I'm with my love. She's the bright light at the end of the tunnel; the only thing I really work for.
I can't wait for college. Hopefully it won't be so boring. And hopefully I'll be away from my parents. The abuse is getting to me.
Luckily, it's getting colder. Slowly, but at the same time quickly. It's hard to explain, but maybe I'll find a way someday.
I haven't been on in a while. A lot has happened. I'm failing Math, my sister owns my cell phone, I'm teching a Spansh class for elementary kids, and I got a boyfriend!
Gotta go. Mr. D will be expecting my Anatomy project now.
Dear Journal, You wouldn't believe where I found you, deep beneath piles of papers. I could never keep a diary, but here I go. My name is Corin_Willow, or just Corin for short. I have to be the bus monitor to a bunch of little kids I really care about, but they never listen. Sometimes they are just so annoying I want to scream! They wrote a bunch of stuff on the steamy windows saying I suck among other things I don't think I should mention. This isn't the only time. I've been kicked, harassed, had salt thrown at my eyes, and called a monkey. Mom says they aren't worth my trouble and I should ignore them, but somehow I feel overwhelmed.....like I let down my promise to protect them. Like one rule says they need to stay in their seats, but they are continually jumping over the tops and climbing under and... Anyway, they're just kids right? I shouldn't be crying over those kinda of things but.... I can't say my life's hard, but it does get depressing and boring and heavy. I have been getting depressed lately, and it's not because of my bus monitoring. I'm fat and unappealing. The guy I like is going out with one of my friends, and I just feel terrible inside. My life is endless drudgery and monotonous school work. Sometimes I feel like I can't go anywhere. I guess I just need a change of scenery. Good thing Thanksgiving is almost here. Finally a little travel! That's it for now. Will write more later [thats a promise] -Corin_Willow
so much has happened. My cousin is getting married in June next year and I have two more cousins. Dylan and Noah are adorable. can't wait to see them at Christmas
Nobody has written in you since before the break. (Which is sad because I haven't been on since November) Well Christmas was fun. I cantored midnight mass on Christmas Eve and I got a new tablet...which I broke right after New Year's Day. (at least I'm getting it replaced with a newer model(thank you Walmart!) for free) My boyfriend spoiled me...again. I try to tell him that I'm not used to it and he doesn't need to, but I feel like I'm talking to a wall sometimes. My sister is single and my brother went on his first date. o.o I'm getting old! Did I mention that my brother wants me to take him with me when I go to college? The ideas he has...*sigh* he amuses me. The new PS4 and Xbox One came out... 0o0 I think that my boyfriend and I had my first argument: who was getting the game consoles first. We're both tech junkies. Did I mention he went to college for making computer software?(and he calls me the smart one -_-) I'm glad to be writing again. My resolution is to have a more balanced schedule involving school, work, and on places like TeenInk. Well, College Algebra is starting soon so I gotta go. See you in a month or so!
Today I crashed a car. They say it's not my fault because the snow was falling and the roads weren't cleared, but who's it? Someone is in the hospital and it isn't on their own accound
I've been gone since October. I came back today because.....well, I'm not terribly 'articulate' right now. It's too hard to explain. I feel the same way I did during the writing of my last journal entry. I have to find a way to fix whatever's wrong with me: this stasis is torture. The only thing that is keeping me from abandoning my craft is that I know I could never be happy doing anything else. But walking around waiting for, as Emily Dickinson put it, the top of my head to come free....I can't do it anymore. I......you know what? Whatever. There aren't any words for my condition now. This is worse than drought. This is a planet devoid of water and soil and air, a sphere of molten gold and granite heaving against an impermeable skin of nebulous gases, and every time the glowing mass shoves this force field, it shrinks..... I can feel that very, very soon now, I will break through. When I do, I'll be back. I am ready to come alive.