((Well, it was a bit boring, so I wanted to liven it up. Oh, and you are totally horrible!))
Melinda screamed as they ran, she saw Nick glance back and gasp at whatever it was, but she didn't dare look back herself, or ask. Nick stumbled, nearly falling over in shock. "Are you ok," Melinda said frantically, worried about the only person she cared for in the world,
"I'm fine Mindy," he said weakly, her nickname sounding good coming out of his mouth.
"What, what did yo-you see," Melinda stuttered, unsure what he would say but desperately needing to know anyway.
(lol, haha, now its your turn!))
(how old where you when you wrote like me?)
"its was, something that I can't describe," he screamed continueing to run.
Melinda had bugs flying into her mouth as she ran for her life. Then Melinda took the biggest mistake of her life and turned around to find...
(and ur turn again :P )
((Wrote like you, what do you mean??))
Her father. The heinous man who had abandoned her when she was just a child to a slave ship bound for a new land. The betrayal had felt like a knife to the heart. Her and Nick had been brutally shoved onto the dank, falling-to-pieces ship, and left for dead.
It was only through a terrible disaster, though one no worse then being abandoned, that Melinda dn Nick had ended up upon an unknown island, but they had both thought they were finally free of the cruel man approaching behind them.
"Nick," Melinda cried in anguish, "What do we do?"
Nick flashed a grin, a scared grin at that, and replied with fake brightness, "WE RUN!!!"
(I mean the quality of my writeing, since I am apparently so horrible)
They ran for what seemed like hours. Melindas father seemed to have alot of stamina. The old man was gaining with his wicked fingers outstretched; trying to catch them.
So they continue to run; still trying to get away from the evil man that nearly cost them their lives.
((your writing isn't horrible though, who told you that?)) ((and sorted I can't post right now, son tired so I'm going to bed. I have a busy day tomorrow, but I'll try to post ASAP.
(I re read over the first couple of paragraphs and realised we can improve this alot by using imagery instead of pointless dialouge)
Nick's brain suddenly starts to melt down. He is being chased by the most evil and corupt man in the world; he is being chased by the one ,and only man he has ever feared. His life starts flashing before his eyes; his most precious memories cascade into vision everytime he closes his eyes.
With sweat dripping off his brow he glances over his shoulder to find Mel is about to fall over and quickly realises he is too.
((ok, seems like a good idea)) He slows his pace a little and grabs Mel's sweaty hand in his own. Together they continue their desperate, hurried escape, half leaning on each other. Memories of past horrors and torments she had suffered at the hands of her cruel father flashed through her mind: when she'd asked for her ears pierced and he had pulled out a hole punch; when she was reading to him and received 25 lashes from an ancient cane for mis-pronouncing plethora. The painful memories sped though her mind, like a DVD on fast-forward, and Melinda's vision began to blur. She collapsed against Nick and together they tumbled to the ground, a tangle of arms and legs.
Nick woke up with a start. Just as his vision was coming back after his sleep; he realized he was in a cave. The walls were wet with moss and there seemed to be a small torch hanging on a sharp rock. Confusion flushed through Nicks body as he tries to figure out what had happend.