Lucas would have given Samael some cream and sugar (they were located in a neat, color coated order right above the coffee machine) before Sam just drank it straight up. Which was something within a feat, consdering Lucas could never drink coffee without some kind of sweetner. He was a killer sweet tooth, especailly as a kid, where he remembered sneaking sugar cubes from theglass container in his mom's apartment. His mom never got mad at him though; she was a gentle, firm soul, punishing him in tickle fights, if that could even be considered a punishment.
"Juliet reminds me of my mom." Lucas commented softly, liking the fact that Samael seemed to already appreciate his pet. Neptune seemed to like Sam already too, rubbing his back against Sam's side already. It cause Lucas to chuckle, smirking.
"Maybe one day, Shiva and Neptune can meet. Neptune got his name because Derek found him the night he was looking for Neptune, outside with his telescope. He likes looking at the stars, for some reason." Lucas explained, his green eyes trained on the cat, before they glanced up at Samael. He was talking about his sleepless nights again, with that farway look in those oh so blue eyes. Slowly, Lucas' hands found their way around Sam's waist, pulling him so that their stomachs were touching. Or atleast Sam's stomach and Lucas' chest, since he was so short. The palms of his hands for Sam's jean pockets on his bottom, and for a moment, Lucas was surpised at his own bravery. He hadn't made the first move since they had been dating. Only for a day, but still, it counted as daring in Lucas' book.
"Why can't you sleep?" Lucas asked, his lids lowering fractionally, before he sighed against his chest, letting his eyes close. He could feel Sam's heartbeat; was it just him, or was it rapid, erratic?
"Did your mom have neon pink hair?" Samael asked teasingly, playing with Lucas's hair again. Every curl was soft and golden, reflecting the dismally perfect lighting of the kitchen; Samael loved running his fingers through it, even if just a little. "You'll have to tell me about her sometime."
And then, Lucas had pulled him over so that now they were flush against each other. Were his hands in Samael's back pockets? He laughed quietly but genuinely, his eyes sparkling in amusement and almost respect for Lucas's move as he studied him.
But that expression of brief joy disappeared as quickly as it had come, leaving Samael to look... lost. His brow furrowed slightly as he enveloped Lucas into a loose but warm hug, trying to think of an answer (but honestly failing) as he traced circles into Lucas's back. The lack of sleep could be seen on his features now, under this lighting, mostly in his eyes; the blue was fading into a dull grey, nearly lifeless.
He just stood there like that, with Lucas resting against him, for a moment before he sighed deeply, a sound of tiredness vibrating through his chest. "Because my monsters don't let me," he murmured quietly. Blue-grey eyes stared off into nothing. "They want me to go insane, I think. So they don't let me sleep. And I think it's working." His hands had stopped their motions, and he stood still for a few seconds, before snapping out of his thinking. "Anyway. If you have homework, you should probably get to it, hm? I keep distracting you."
"No. She had blonde hair, like me." Lucas murmured, still holding Samael close against him. He radiated a certain warmth about him, and Lucas could stay there forever if they were allowed to. Just listening to his heartbeat, like a gentle lullaby.
He liked the feel of Samael's long piano fingers trace circles on his back, right were his shoulder blades met. It brought his skin to a ripple, but in a good way, and very softly, he released a breath, his shoulders relaxing into Samael himself. At his words, he stared up at him, searching for some other answer.
"You always say that," Lucas began softly, still staring up at him, trying to find Sam's monsters, and spit in their face. "That you have monsters. What do you mean? Memories? Regrets?" He questioned, before he decided to change the subject. Lucas frowned, but only slightly. Obviously, he didn't want to talk about it, and Lucas would not force him. Reluctantly, he removed his hands from Sam's back pockets, pouting.
"But I hate homework." He whined, even if he was off retrieving his bookbag. If anything, Lucas was pretty studious, and serious about school. His mother had always wanted him to go to University, and that was something he intended to do, for her sake.
"Everybody hates homework, Lucas." All too soon, they were apart, and Samael was left feeling cold again as Lucas went off in search of his homework. He knew he couldn't keep avoiding that topic all the time; Lucas's frown only confirmed that. But he wouldn't put all that on him this soon. They'd only been together a day. For some reason, it already felt like forever.
He decided to wait there in the kitchen, and he hopped up on the counter, looking sleepy still as he began to pet Neptune once again. "You don't disapprove of me dating your owner, do you?" he found himself asking quietly. The cat only tilted it's head into his hand, closing it's eyes and purring at the rubbing. Samael sighed. "What do you know. You're just a cat."
It dawned on him about then that he was talking to an animal, and he began to wonder if he was going insane. Maybe he already was. This wasn't the first time he'd talked to a cat half-expecting it to talk back.
With a huff, he slid off the counter, heading out in search of Lucas and still feeling like a crazy person.
Lucas easily had found his bookbag, and was carrying it back into the living room, where he almost bumped into Sam halfway. He smiled crookedly, before slipping his fingers within his, leading him over to the couch.
The living room matched the rest of the house. As in, it was ridiculously neat, and Lucas knew it. He wasn't concerned by the cleanliness of the house, but sometimes he worried over if Derek stressed a little too much over the well being of the house. He really did love his uncle (after all, he was his mother's older brother), even if he was a compulsive person. Nevertheless, Lucas sat down on the couch, before slappingh his physics book on the table, and glancing quizzically over at Samael himself.
"Don't you have homework?" He asked, furrowing on brow upwards."Or are ya just gunna watch me?" Lucas teased, sliding down so he was sitting on the floor, with the coffe table subsitituting as a real table, and his back aganst the couch.
"Got a problem with me just watching you?" Samael retorted, smirking as he flopped onto the couch, laying across it as Lucas sat on the floor. He glanced up at the ceiling from where he lay; even that was spotless. What the heck.
From here, he could reach over and play with Lucas's hair (Samael just loved that for some reason). "And actually, I don't have any homework. I finished it all in study hall, like usual." That was the only thing he really liked about school; he was good at it. At this rate, he'd end up graduating a year early. He caught a glimpse of the giant textbook on the table and his nose wrinkled just slightly in disgust. "Physics? Ugh. I hated that class." But at least he had it over with, and could help Lucas if needed.
He remained quiet then, his eyes on the ceiling but not really seeing it, as he thought. He could do this easily; let Lucas do his homework in peace, and just lay here for a while and (maybe, but most likely not) get a little sleep somewhere in there. But then somehow he ended up talking again, his voice low and dark; soft, but rough with emotion and lack of sleep. "My monsters came from me. I made them, but now I can't kill them."
Lucas didn't have a problem with Samael just watching him. Sure, it made him aware of things that he wasn't aware of before. Like the way Sam's fingers seemed to find every curl in Lucas' hair, or how Lucas wrote more carefully when Samael was touching him. As if he might disrupt his steady relaxation if he made a sloppy t or a messy y.
For a while, they fell into a rhythm. Lucas would fall into the concentration that physics usually required from him, while he would occasionally reach for his calculatior to compute some equations. Lucas could get used to the quiet, this peace. Even Neptune joined them, curling up on the top of the couch, his tail swaying back and forth as he fell alseep. It was when Lucas was on his second to last problem when Samael broke the silence.
"How does one make monsters?" Lucas asked, his voice equally soft as he set his pencil down, bowing his neck back so he was laying on Samael's legs. His green eyes turned over towards him, gently concerned. "Maybe I can help you. Destroy them, you know."
Samael took a breath, letting it out slowly. Blue eyes met green ones briefly before turning back to the ceiling, and he tried to think of how to explain this. Could he explain this? He was never much of a wordy person, and that was obvious, even to himself.
"They are created over time," he murmured, letting his fingers continue through Lucas's hair, because they desperately needed something to do before he fell even deeper into insanity. "Usually, something happens. It can be small, or big; it doesn't matter. But whatever happens creates an idea. And when that idea is planted in your mind, depending on if you feed it or not, it grows. It grows and grows, and eventually, it becomes a part of you that can't be taken away, no matter how hard you try. No matter how much you don't want it there. Because the more you don't want it there, the more it digs in it's roots and refuses to le go.
"Since you've been feeding that idea all this time, and it's been growing bigger and bigger, soon... you have nothing left." He paused, chewing on his lip, before sighing softly. "And so, it begins to feed on you. It eats you alive. You keep thinking that after a while, it'll have to stop, because you'll have to diminish too, right? But it won't let you. It keeps you alive, just enough to take what it wants from you. That's when it becomes a monster. And you can't get rid of it because it's so big, and because... well. Without it keeping you alive for it's own needs, then... you're dead."
By now, Samael's hand had moved from Lucas's hair to his face, carressing the boy's cheek gently as his thumb ran across those soft pink lips. So kissable. "And that's why I always avoid telling people what they are. I don't want the same thing to happen to them. The world doesn't need to be full of Starbucks-craving zombies."
Lucas didn't like hearing Samael so...pained. He watched how he tried to explain it, the way hs lips tightened, and how his eyes seemed to be bleached away to gray. It really was horrible. So much so, that when Samael had finished, Lucas moved closer to him. To his face, where he could take in his pain. Lessen it somehow.
"You know, after I got in the car accident with my mom, I was sad for a while. No, not. I was depressed." Lucas explained in a soft, careful voice. He didn't talk about this a lot, mostly because he was so happy and cheey all the time, he didn't like people imagining him sad. "I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to even live anymore, especially without my leg. What was the point?" He flinched slightly as he recalled the memories, but his fingers had found Sam's, where he was holding them with a firm gentleness. "But then one day, I thought about my mom. Really thought about her, not just cried about her. I thought about how she would want me to be happy, even without her." Lucas paused, his throat closing up considerably, before he sighed, leaning his chin on Sam's chest, to meet his green eyes with that stunning blue.
"I don't know what happened in your life, Samael, and you don't have to ever tell me, but I know that there is always a way to free yourself." Lucas paused, before straightening. He got a slight twinkle in his eye, before he stood up. "Like right now. I bet you could sleep if you slept with me. You know, just sleep." A bright blush colored his cheek at the suggestion.
It was almost just as painful - if not more so - hearing about Lucas's own pain and seeing it on his face. Samael decided Lucas, of all people, shouldn't be sad. Shouldn't even have that look on his face. Lucas was supposed to smile and laugh and his eyes were always supposed to sparkle with some kind of joy.
Samael listened carefully, wincing in a hardly noticable way in a few places, but overall kept himself expressionless. He didn't know how his emotions might betray him if he actually allowed them; it was easier to just keep them in check.
Maybe Lucas was right; if he just took the time to actually think about his monsters, instead of simply shoving them aside to do as they pleased, maybe he would actually get somewhere. It seemed like it could be worth a try. Maybe.
But Lucas's suggestion made Samael laugh without trying, and he pushed himself up and off the couch, stretching a bit and trying not to yawn. "Well, I suppose we could try it your way, hm?" he said with a smirk and suggestive raise of one brow. "Just sleeping, of course, of course. But I think we all know what you really mean by that."
If possible, Lucas flushed even deeper. He was always so modest about these things, espeically with Sam, who was his first boyfriend. Or really, actual relationship. And here he was, already offering to sleep with him. How...easy.
"Yes. I only mean sleeping." Lucas replied, much to his chargin as he began to put his homework away. He cleaned up after himself, for Derek's sake. "Now c'mon. Upstairs." He delcared, his hand finding Sam's one more, and leading him up the staircase. Upstiars was a little smaller than downstairs, with a solitary hallway leading, and eventaully branching off into rooms. Lucas' was the first on the left, and he felt the beginnings of an adreneline rush beginning to start as he pullsed Samael in his bedroom. Was he really doing this?
Lucas' room was surprisingly bland, since he had just moved in with his uncle. The walls were a soft, faded beige, while there was a desk with a laptop by a window, where the branches of the oaktree outside put shadows on his simply dressed bed. He had a small closet and a dresser, with sketches of art plastered crookedly around his room. Lucas smiled sheepishly up towards Sam.
"Um...it's not like extravegent yet, but it will be later on." He explained, his heart pumping wildly as he tossed a glance over to his unmade bed.