His words kept her still far more than his hand did. Rachel closed her eyes, physically forcing herself to stop crying. Once under control she said, "I can't hurt you Michael, I just... I'd - god da.mn it! I don't want to leave you alright? I just can't be around people, I'll hurt them! Look at Axon and Megan, if we hadn't been with them when they entered that town, they would have had half the danger!"
Rachel jerked, as if to step back, but didn't actually take the step. She was stuck between hugging him and running away, leaving her frozen in the middle. She didn't want to hurt him. She didn't want to injure him. Which is worse? A little voice in her head asked. Pysically hurt or emotionally hurt? She knew the answer for herself, and didn't want to admit it - she feared emotional pain far more than physical.
"Please Michael," She begged, her voice breaking. "I don't want to hurt you..."
Michael wiped away the moisture budding at the corners of his eyes. He kept his hand where it was, neither pulling Rachel closer nor pushing her away. Either action could send her away, and he wouldn't want to risk that. His only hope now was for Rachel to stay and listen.
"You won't," Michael promised, stretching each word out. "I know you won't hurt me, not with that smoke. I don't care what it's done in the past, I know I'm safe."
His lower lip trembled, and Michael bit it to stop the subtle movement. "Please," he begged, "Please, Rachel, don't go."
((I feel so cruel!))
Tears spilt from her eyes and she stepped foward cautiously. She hesitated and then hugged him. Burying her head in his shoulder, she took deep breaths. He smelt like breakfast, dust, and... home. He was her home now. She couldn't abanon this one too.
Rachel didn't pulled her head off his shoulder, hating herself. She felt so selfish, she couldn't even leave him to protect him. "O-okay... I won't leave. But -" She pulled back and took his face in her hands. "You have to promise. If I lose control... try to bring me back and if you can't, leave me. Don't get hurt because of me."
((Okay so now what do we do?))
((haha I have no idea!! another 'sidequest' or endgame? I feel like we should do something a little lighter if we could--not that the dark angsty stuff is bad, but we just got through ten zillion pages of TEARS and PAIN and I'm anticipating the final chapter to be even more TEARS and PAIN))
Michael pulled Rachel closer, confident now that she wouldn't be running away. Or if she tried, he would stop her...he had to. Otherwise, where would he go? He could hardly face the army alone, and lived in constant danger of being captured or attacked. Without Rachel, there was no reason to endure it all.
"I promise," Michael whispered into Rachel's ear, "I'll look after myself. But I'm still going to look after you." He reached to cup his hand's over Rachel's, giving her what he hoped was an encouraging smile. He wasn't going anywhere.
((When you phrase it like that, you make it sound like our characters have had a hard time, like their lives haven't been easy! I wonder where you got that impression... okay I half laughed, half cried reading that, poor Michael and Rachel! You're right, they should do something quiet to let their minds and bodies settle before we give them more tears and pain. I'll think about it!))
Rachel smiled, her resolve melting. She would have to forgive herself for everything one day, and learn to trust herself, and while this was not that day, she could start a little bit today. She took turned her hand in his and laced her fingers through, looking into his eyes. Michael trusted her, and she trusted him. She just had to trust herself.
Rachel smiled at him, "Thank you. I-I love you." She almost choked on the words, but they were the truth.
((K, I don't really have any ideas so do whatever you want!))
Michael pressed his hands into hers, squeezing his fingers in between his own. He let go of his worries about Rachel leaving, sure now that she was going to stay. He was surprised to find that his mind was clear--only his thoughts, not anyone else's.
"I love you, too," Michael said immediately, the words seeming to come as naturally as breathing. It hardly needed to be said, after all they'd been through, but it still felt as though a tremendous shift had taken place. There had always been something between them, but now he could be certain that Rachel felt it, too.
In one fluid motion, Michael pressed his lips to Rachel's. He knew it was silly--the last thing they needed to be doing now was kissing. He wasn't even sure Rachel wanted to. But then, that was what made Rachel so exhilirating. While he could literally read everyone else like a book, she was the one who could, and did, surprise and amaze him. With this kiss, he hoped to do the same for her.
((bleagh sorry I can't write sappy stuff...WONDER WHY it's not like I don't get TONS of practice!!! all my RP's are full of the kissing and the not-killing-people!))
((Gah, I'm sorry for not being on often. I just had a whole bunch of people ask me to do 1X1s and none of them had any ideas in mind. So I've not really been looking forward to getting on and doing anything on here. Anyway, they could just go off to some little town and meet some new people and help them or whatever. I don't know, I feel like the start of school has shut off my creative brain!))
Rachel held on to his hand as she kissed him back. For her, this was moving beyond her past, and moving with him. To get past the ugly and see far. She cupped the back of his neck, running her fingers softly along his hairline.
Eventually she pulled back for air. She gulped down air and smiled at him, "We're good right?" She glanced down the road, "We should proably get moving, if we want to get anywhere before dark."
((Sorry for the really short post, again my creative brain is slowly withering away.))
((naw, it's fine. i know the feel. sorry for the delay))
Michael was too dazed for a few seconds to say anything. He knew it was cliche to think, but that kiss had been perfect. Not because it was 'passionate' or something gross like that, but because it had been normal. Perhaps the first normal thing they'd done in a long time.
"Yeah, we're good," Michael nodded, though he felt that 'good' hardly covered it. Yes, they were fine for now--better, he dared to think--but they both knew it wouldn't last.
"Right," Michael agreed, beginning to walk down the road. He'd normally start looking for nearby towns right away, but he allowed himself to remain in this state of fuzzy isolation for a little while longer.