((Haha! I know, he is pretty adorable. I feel quite the same way about Amedeus though! :))
James had been idly focusing his energies on something along the lines of scathing remarks when Amedeus's emotions launched into a full blown panic attack. James jerked upright as if poked with a cattle prod, Amedeus's brief flight of emotions rubbing off on him and making his heart race for a second.
Tristan looked suspiciously at the blonde cherubic boy in front of him with some level of suspicion. James was mentally scrambling, trying to find out what could've possibly illicit end such panicked feelings from Amedeus. He hadn't been paying proper attention, and James cursed himself.
Amedeus's tirade though, did cause James to arch a brow. It was extremely uncommon for him to get such a rise out of Amedeus these days. But there was something extremely cowing in the dark boy's utter vehemence as he defended Tristan's personality.
Tristan himself shifted uncomfortably. He wasn't quite sure what it was that was going on, and De's insistence on Tristan's good nature was kind of unsettling. He dealt with James, along with much worse insults in the past, handling it easily before, but what about this time got Amedeus so riled up?
James wondered the same thoughts. What was it that he smelled? It was light, pleasant even.... "I never claimed that I was any more pleasant than Tristan," James said defensively, with a razor edged voice he preserved for moments when he was trying to solve a puzzle, "In fact, Tristan is a bloody princess compared to me...."
James's sentence trailed off thoughtfully. There was a little known fact about James's power that he didn't do much to advertise, as it mostly happened accidentally and unpleasantly on his part. But he could, by removing some self made barriers, discern leftover emotions that attatched themselves to inanimate objects... such as De's notebook.
Tristan looked up sharply the split second before James laid a hand on Amedeus's notebook- he had seen the probability, but too late to intervene, not that he knew what James was really up too. It took James a second to rifle through the emotional scraps recently left on the notebook until he found-
It was the same mild flowery scent James always got a whiff of whenever he caught a girl staring doe eyed at Zeke, or something. A scent that threw James off his guard, not having expected it to be there.
"Oh my G.od!" he said loudly, causing the librarian to cast a disapproving look in his direction. Tristan wore a look of abject puzzlement. James traced a look from Amedeus, over to the confused Tristan. "Oh my G.od," he said, more softly.
((Sorry it's so choppy! My original post got deleted when my page refreshed, so I bungled everything up in restyping, because I really really wanted to post it. Ugh, please excuse any typos due to autocorrect or choppy sentences. :))
Amedeus mentally kicked himself as soon as James reacted to his thoughts. He knew on the boy jolted up, as if he was electrified with energy at the very thought of picking up on anything he could use against Amedeus. Suddenly, his grip on his pencil became very, very, very, firm.
For a moment, Amedeus felt like he was suspended in an extremely painful headache. He was watching James with a painful gaze; the way he seemed to sift through puzzlement, how his eyes widened ever so slightly. Before Amedeus was even aware--it had happened so fast--James hand was on his beloved notebook. The one he had pocession of since the very beginning. The one that had been wiped clean like him, fresh and new. The one that probably held onto the scents of his emotions like socks in a gym room.
Quickly, he jerked it out of James's touch. But, it was too late.
The epiphany wiped over his expression, a cloud of shock that seemed to zap Amedeus into his chest. His reaction was enough; James exclaimation not only attracted the stern stare of the librarian, but the many glances of the students around them. What could have possibly been going on with the freak Amedeus, the quiet nerd Tristan, and the annoying James? De's jawbone stuck out by his temple, his skin becoming an almost deadly pale.
"We are in a library, James." He spoke between gritted teeth, hardly moving lips. Amedeus's stare was even worse; if looks could kill, James's eyes would have been gouged out the second he had reacted to his thoughts."Please exercise some self control." Deliberately, Amedeus swallowed. He so desperately wanted to vanish, but couldn't. Not when James possibly held his deepest and darkest secret.
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut our study session short." He then started to say, deflty flicking his papers into his notebook. Amedeus spared Tristan an apologetic smile--he looked so confused, so dreadfully lost, not to mention the million possibillities probably beginning to attack his state of mind, Dam.n James--before he averted his stone cold gaze over to James.
"We have our next class together." Which was a blantant lie, but the threat was underline with a promise to carry through. If there was anyone you didn't want as your enemy, it was an invisible man."Come on, James." Amedeus shortly demanded, before turning on his heel and stalking out of the library, dissapearing mid-way.
His journal floated eerily in mid-air.
Tristan had his head in his hands, peeking through his slender pale fingers. Amedeus's expression was frankly, quite terrifying, and Tristan had absolutely no clue as to what could've possibly evoked such a strong emotion in his friend. Tristan's brow furrowed, and his mouth open in quizzical manner, as if he wanted to say something, but had no idea what to say.
James didn't feel the flood of victory he thought he would. For once in his life, finding out something as secretive as Amedeus's crush on Tristan didn't bring him the joy and satisfaction such a revelation would normally.
Needless to say, part of that was probably because of Amedeus's stark terrifying reaction. He was normally an intimidating boy, but with his face tightened with anger, throwing each line into sharp relief, James felt a shimmer of intimidation crawl down his spine. For once, James held no witty retort or insult to candidly toss back. He merely nodded mutely, his blue eyes beginning to narrow from to a shocked expression to a shrewd one.
"I- what-?" Tristan stammered hopelessly as Amedeus shimmered out of view. The probabilities he had invited in an attempt to figure out what was going on didnt leave him, but lingered in the outskirts of his vision. James's abrupt movements and Amedeus's sudden departure left him fairly reeling.
James stood shortly after Amedeus did, his throat dry as his vivid imagination spun through possible scenarios. Amedeus's rage left a aching burn in the back of his throat, in his nose. Without saying anything to Tristan, except for giving him one last odd lingering look, James left the library, easily following Amedeus's trail of peppery emotions.
[ This scene would be so perfect to draw! I laughed outloud imagining Tristan xD I'll reply tomorrow once I reach a computer though, okay? So many possibilities for Amedeus...And if I am tempted (which I might very well be, considering the emotional intensity of the scene) I will sneak down and type a glorious reply! ]
((I was just thinking that! If I wasn't utter c.rap at drawing comics, Id start right now. ^^ Well, you know, if it means anything, I can't wait for a glorious reply. :P))
[ Agh I can't help it! I'll type one, but beware, it's off of an iPod and typos might be present o.o ]
((:D This makes me incredibly happy especially considering the fact that I'm way past my bedtime. Might as well make to for something! :))
Amedeus didn't need James's powers to sense his fear. He had always known others viewed him as intimidating, perhaps even fearful. What they didn't know was exactly how much he could be, because he was so rarely present, let alone angry with anything. James was a prominent exception to this rule.
"Inside." The boy instructed curtly, his tone flat and unquestionable as he shimmered back into focus. De's hold on his notebook was secure, as if he was afraid James might steal it to only pry open all the emotions attached. He was standing in a front of the doorway of an English class that he knew would be empty for a while. As soon as James followed his order (I'm assuming he does xD), Amedeus followed closely behind, shutting the door with a definate click and making sure the windo was covered with the blinds provided. The last thing he did was face James himself.
The boy was pathetically small. Perhaps that was why he often bullied people; his height made him feel insufficient to others, especially since he was a boy. Not to mention his rather youthful features that gave him the impression of being much younger than he was, along with the appearance of an angel, which he was anything but. Sometimes, Amedeus would wonder where James came from. Wondered why he was so mean. At first, he even tried to befriend the boy, before he barricaded himself off from everybody with stabbing comments. Amedeus was no different to this rule. Yet still, he would catch the boy with a certain look on his face that Amedeus could never place.
But now, James just looked plain terrified. It was an expression Amedeus could have gotten used to, but in all honesty, he could hurt him. No, not seriously. So instead, De simply leaned his bottom on a desk, his base flat, though not particularly threatening.
"Go on a head," He insisted in a cold, almost hurt voice."Say it. Say what an abomination I am, for my feelings. How I am a poisen to whatever higher power you believe in. I might as well get used to it." Amedeus smiled humorlessly, his dark eyes very empty and if you looked closely enough, afraid."After this gets out by you, I will be viewed as an even more evil being than I am now. So go on ahead James; tell me how wrong and impure I am." Ever so slightly, De slumped, clutching his notebook even more tightly. No longer did be look murderous; instead, he just looked broken.
((This was written poorly, as Im in school but couldn't wait to reply. ^^))
James had no idea what he had gotten himself into. He realized with a sinking in the pit of his stomach, that he was completely out of his depth. Amedeus definitely had a physical advantage over him, and James wished he had another alternative, another way to weasel out of this other than emotional manipulation.
Surprisingly though, as his thoughts left himself and dwelt more on Amedeus, he realized that he didn't smell particularly hostile, not anymore. No, it was more sad, more defeated, than anything. He sat on the desktop across from Amedeus gingerly, as if wary what any sudden movements would bring.
In the scheming, curious part of James, he still wondered in the back of his head how Amedeus could've kept his secret from him for so long. I mean, that kind of thing is really obvious... To some extent, he felt a glimmer of respect towards a person who could keep something like that bottled up for so long.
Amedeus's words dropped to the ground, heavy, like stones. The desolation in his voice stung at the back of James's throat, in his nose, and he turned his head slightly to one side, staring at the ceiling as Amedeus's feelings tangled with his own, and he fought to separate them.
And then, when Amedeus spoke, it wasn't a threat, there was no anger. It was an invitation. Startlingly, when James opened his mouth, it wasn't ridicule that came from it, but a laugh. Not a gleeful laugh, or even a mean one- it was completely self-deprecating, disbelieving, and tinged with Amedeus's emotions of hurt and anger and sorrow.
Eventually, James's laughter dissolved into a few coughing hiccups, and he covered his face with his small hands, opening his fingers wide enough to look through. "Oh my God," he said finally, because he couldn't really think of much else to say, "You really think-? You really think that little of me? Don't answer that- I know you do."
James knew that Amedeus had every reason to think that way- but it still stung. He knew he was a spiteful person, but would the persona he had built for himself really go as far as ruining De's life? He didn't feel like that much of a jerk. He felt sick to his stomach. Amedeus was actually afraid of what James was going to do.
"Stop feeling like that!" He half shouted, his hand moving to his nose, "What did you think I was going to do? Out you to the entire school?" James was frustrated, and incredibly p.issed with himself.
[Oh, it's not poorly written at all :) ]
Amedeus blinked, a bewildered expression on his face. He straightened slightly at James's laugh--one that he had never heard escape from him before, or really anyone else. He began to speak, and surprisngly, Amedeus flushed with chargin.
"Well, can you hardly blame me for assuming your actions?" Amedeus shot back, almost defensive, but not enitrely. Mostly his tone was that of disbelief; James wasn't going to tell anyone? But, for what price? Suspicion began to leak throughout his blood. "Don't tell me you forget our first meeting. What you said about my past, let alone who I am as a person." Amedeus continued to explain, just to justify his thoughts, before he abruptly stopped.
"I can't help how I feel." He responded quietly, his gaze averted downards, to star intently at his hands. Absently, he twidled his thumbs, his expression distorting into that of someone in pain."If I could, I would control it. But I can't." Amedeus was never the one to cry. Actually, he had only cried once in his life, over a physical pain. But the emotional distress was causing his eyes to sting, and he squeezed his eyelids shut, counted to three, before he straightened once more, his expression tightly pinched.
"You're the only one who knows." Amedeus stated, before the side of his mouth twitched into a frown."Aside from Sera. Maybe even Professor X." He paused, running a hand through his black hair, making it stick up in tangled pieces. He stared steadily at James, biting his lower lip.
"I'm sorry for accusing you of the worst." He murmured, guilt beginning to mix into his array of violent emotions."I don't hate you, James. I just..."De took in a giant sigh."I don't know what to do." There. He admitted it. Let James do what he would.
((I couldn't be sure since I didn't proof read it. :) I've got some sketches of the group done today, and I'll put them up on tumblr later tonight. ^^))
James's freckled cheeks colored as Amedeus brought up one of their first encounters. It was a very good point made, but not anything that James was really proud of. True, he did get a lot of enjoyment getting on people's nerves, but a lot more damage was done that day. James wondered at times where he'd be now if he hadn't lashed out at Amedeus when they first met.
"I was what- ten?" he weakly protested, but not really wanting it to seem like he was defending his actions." And then Amedeus opened up, and it was one of the most piercing, naseous emotional experiences for James, ever.
All people were different. Most people, especially teenagers, wore their hearts on their sleeves. Their emotions were varied and largely superficial, because they changed so often. And then there were those who kept to themselves, who stuffed away feelings, bottled it all up. When they released them, they were so much more potent, more poignant, and compelling.
Amedeus's sharp painful sorrow and conflict were needles stabbing at James. He couldn't have said a single word against the boy if he tried at that time.
"I think I can safely say that you don't have to tell me how you feel," James said in a pinched voice, trying feebly to project some levity, "You're going to make me cry if you keep projecting like that." And it was true. He was already feeling sniffly for reasons that weren't his own.
"You're right though. You can't control how you feel because you're a human being and people can't just decide what they very well want to feel like and trying to control what you like and don't like is like trying to stopper a flood." James's voice had started out quiet, but grew louder towards the end, being in a rather worked up state of mind. After all, he considered himself something of an expert on the subject.
And maybe because Amedeus's stark emotions were affecting him so much, but James was feeling rather... benevolent. In his own way, of course. He faltered though, in realizing that Amedeus's apology was genuine, which meant way more than it should have.
"You're being a drama queen, Amedeus," James said briskly, willing himself to shake back into his regular old self without much success, "And don't try telling me otherwise because I know every dàmn thing you're feeling right now. But I certainly don't know what you should do, because if you haven't forgotten, I'm just the annoying gossipmonger you dislike so much."
"Yes, ten. Though I thought you were like, six." Amedeus replied in a tired sigh, bringing his legs up on the desk to criss-cross them. The emotional outbreak had drained him, and he fiercely rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands.
If this is what I feel like with just my emotions, I can't even imagine how James must feel, surrounded by them all the time. Amedeus thought to himself, pulling his hands away at James' next choice of words.
"I don't want to make you cry." Amedeus mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. He didn't like this situation at all; he felt way too vulnerable under the gaze of James. Never in a million years would he have guessed to be having this conversation--of all conversations--with James--of all people. The unplesantness of it all weighed him down, but it wasn't enough to outweigh the fear of his secret getting out.
"It's not easy, being viewed as a freak. Even among your own kind." De began to explain, his eyes very dark as he began his explanation in a simple manner. Nothing about his tone was self-pitying; he was simply stating the facts."You were the first outsider I had met close to my age, and the things you said..." He stopped, shaking his head. [I'm thinking we should have a scene to that moment...? :) Oh, and I can't wait to see more of your mastepieces! :D]
"I don't hold it against you, though." Amedeus added hastily, not wanting to make his relationship with James any worse than it already was. If anything, he wanted to make it better. Even more now since James had the greatest form of blackmail there was."Grudges are pointless, you know." He added with a flick of his shoulders, before he snorted at his last response.
"Drama queen. Pft. Is that supposed to be some kind of joke now?" Amedeus asked, arching a brow spectatively. "Yes, you're an annoying gossiper. Which is why...which is why..."This was the part where his throat began to close up, his fingers clenching into tense fists. Shame began to slowly soak into his system, staining him. Ruining him entirely.
"Please, don't tell anyone." Amedeus's request sounded like he was choking, his eyes very wide and pleading. For once, he didn't look like a scary Doberman, but rather, a small puppy that got kicked a lot. "I know you don't like me very much--I haven't been the nicest to you either--"He winced slightly at all the pranks he would pull with his invisibility back in the days where Amedeus dispised James entirely--"But if this got out....especially to Tristan..." Amedeus's heart squeezed painfully as he thought about losing the one person he perharps cared about the most. Over the most ironic thing, too; simply caring for him back.
((Definitely- I love these Amedeus and James scenes so much. ^^))
James knew he couldn't really argue against his appearance- it was a lost battle before he could even start. Even now, he could still pass for a ten or eleven year old, if he tried. "I can't exactly control that," he said, as a way of response to both Amedeus's comments- about his age, and the crying. Really, neither could be helped. Sometimes, genetics súcked.
"I can only imagine," James said sarcastically, before he could really stop himself. Now that the attack of wild emotions had gradually faded, his regular biting self was making an appearance, but James still had to remind himself that he was technically still in a rather precarious position.
"The things I said were cruel," he admitted, "But that doesn't mean that they weren't true." James's pale blue eyes scrutinized Amedeus, slightly narrowed. He knew that was why most people hated him- after all, you could squash and disprove lies, but what happened when faced with the unfortunate, unfriendly truth? He understood why people felt that way around him, but he never quite grasped what it was that made Amedeus such a social outcast.
With a quick check, James was quite stunned to learn that Amedeus really didn't hold it against him. Of course, in James's mind, although it was unpleasant, he didn't think it was anything to ever hold a grudge against.
With Amedeus's tortured begging however, James's steadily growing grip on himself was quickly torn away, and he stood abruptly, turning his back on Amedeus and putting his palms on the desk as if physically bracing himself could help.
"Oh, don't try to sugar coat it. You treated me like cráp," he said shakily, "But you can probably be sure of one thing- I won't be telling Tristan anything. Because he doesn't deserve to be dragged into this mess-" which may have had something to do with Amedeus's affection for Tristan effecting James, "and two, because you're making me feel like like outing you is as bad as being responsible for the Holocaust."
James finally turned back around, but the sight of a piteous, cowed Amedeus in his tattered clothes didn't improve the general situation. He leveled a half hearted glare in the other boy's direction.
But that doesn't mean they weren't true. The response cut through Amedeus like ice, making him dig his hands fiercely into the pockets of his jacket. James was right; the claims he had made upon their first meeting probably were true, which made it all the more worse.
"This mess." Amedeus gave a hard laugh, shaking his head as he looked up at the ceiling. Maybe it would just be best to disappear for good. It was a reoccurring thought with Amedeus, or rather, once that always seemed to visit him in his darkest times.
You have no family. No one would miss me. Maybe death would just be easier. He mused mentally, before the faces of everyone that he cared for began to float into focus. Even if he was invisible half the time, Amedeus knew they would be hurt by any desicion of harming himself. If there was one thing Amedeus didn't want to do purposely, it was to hurt them. Letting out a long drawn out sigh, his gloomy gaze met James again.
The boy held a power over him now. And it killed Amedeus. Mainly because a constant comfort he held within himself was his self control. No one could make him do anything. And now? Now that power of himself was shattered into pieces, most of them ending up in the hands of James. It was a horrible feeling.
"Tristan?" Amedeus's gaze became more focus, intent."What about everyone else? Will you tell anyone else?" He hastily began to add, a frantic note ringing his demands. Amedeus got that pinched look on his face again, his fingers tightly wound into fists underneath his pockets.
James gritted his teeth as Amedeus's depression sliced through him, the smell of fog and heaviness. He could only imagine what the other boy was thinking, with his dark and heavy scents and his tight body language. James gave a sharp, bitter, laugh.
"You are so incredibly messed up, Amedeus," he said as an observation, not as an accusation. "I should tell everyone else," he said thoughtfully, knowing he was playing with fire, "Because that would be the expected thing of me, wouldn't it?" James sighed.
"But I won't. Because sometimes I don't much like me, and because I don't want to ruin your life over something I don't particularly care about," he resolved, the good and moral part of him cheering internally.
But James's sly side, the side of him that urged him to take advantage of any thing given to him was completely aware of the immense power he had over this frantic, distressed, and incredibly complex boy in front of him. He felt like he was refusing a gift. Why, with information like that, he could twist Amedeus any way he wanted...
But to what end? So that Amedeus would be even more miserable than he is now? Could James even wish those sort of feelings upon another person, especially being so attuned to them and knowing how it tears that person apart?
"I'm not making any heartfelt promises, but I have no interest in exploiting you," ooh, that sounded callous, but he forged on, "I won't tell a soul, but-" James's mind raced. During the moments when Amedeus had been talking, he had been steadily building up a wall between his and Amedeus's emotions. Now that his mind wasn't so muddled and dripping with empathy, his sharper, more shrewd ideas began to work themselves.
"-But, if I retain such knowledge, you owe me." Amedeus was such a well of information, being invisible most of the time. Not only that, but his powers allowed him access to areas James didn't dare try to sneak to. Yes, he could see this being profitable, even though he really had no intention of telling anyone. He was still sensitive to the point that even thinking about Amedeus's response to his secret being spilled made his stomach turn.
[I saw your new drawing on Tumblr ^.^ As always, it's wonderful, though I am curious on what Amedeus is saying, since it is a blurry when I zoom in.]
"I know." Amedeus replied in a soft voice. He really was messed up. He was reminded of it everyday, whenever he happened to glance over at Tristan and feel the immense desire to kiss him, or just simply say "I love you". He was reminded whenever he saw the expressions upon people's faces as he reappeared. He was reminded each time he got random flickers of memory from his unknown past. Yes, Amedeus was reminded every day on how truly messed up he was. James saying it outloud only confirmed it.
Amedeus's self loathing was cut short though as James continued to speak. To tease him, pondering the thought of letting his secret go. His head snapped up, and a flash of anger bled through him, threatening to spill out.
The relief he felt when James ammended that he wouldn't was pathetic. The whole situation was pathetic, and Amedeus felt like James was holding him over a cliff edge, testing how far he could fall.
Despite this, he couldn't help but to blink at one thing James stated. The fact that he didn't care. It took a moment to sink in, along with the initial shock.
"You...you don't think it's wrong? My feelings towards him?" Amedeus couldn't help but to ask, his tone incredulous. If anything, he was expecting James to relate him with the adjectives such as "wrong" and "gross". His blantant nonchalance letf him feeling very...light. Perhaps confused, but light nevertheless.
And then, there was the inevitable "but". Amedeus stood up, a good two heads taller--and atleast fifty pounds on him--his thumbs hooked tensely to the belt loops of his jeans. De really did look like a rockstar; perhaps, a little more worn, a little more exhausted.
"I 'owe you' what?" Amedeus demanded sharply, his teeth gritted. He should of known James would have used this to his advantages. Quickly, he flicked out a ci.gar.ett.e, lighting it almost violently as he stuck in in the corner of his mouth, beyong caring about any school rules."Information? Spying?" His nose crinkled in disrespect.
((Ach, my iPad camera is really poor. He supposed to be saying "We're in a library," which was kind of my sorry attempt at a comic of sorts. :P))
James's mouth narrowed into a very straight, grim line, as he battled for emotional supremacy in his head. At Amedeus's incredulousness towards his uncaring attitude, James let go a hollow laugh, and gave Amedeus a rather patronizing look, tutting impatiently.
"As someone who has spent their life surrounded by other people's emotions, do you really think that your feelings for one guy are enough to warrant my disgust?" James's voice was slightly bitter, although he willed himself not to be, "I mean, I've come across much more shocking revelations before. And contrary to popular belief, I don't hold people accountable for that of which they can't control, I merely use it to my advantage."
Of course, James had conveniently left out the fact that he genuinely did want to be thought of as a semi-decent human being, at least. James's lips curled into a small scowl as Amedeus stood. He felt like standing too, as if that would make a better impression, but the sorry fact remained that he was taller sitting on the desk than he was standing up.
James smiled rather sadly. It was a jerk move, to blackmail Amedeus in this way, but he had learned the difficult way long ago that caring about what others thought of you did nothing but drag you down. Of course, that philosophy had left him friendless and lonely, but you win some, you lose some...
"Puh-lease," James wrinkled his nose at the sight of Amedeus's ci.gar.ett.e, having an intense dislike of smoking, as one of his mother's countless boyfriends had been a heavy smoker. The smell made him feel blind, as James was someone who navigated through social territories by people's emotions. Smoke was an effective shield against his power, and it always felt like he was robbed of an essential limb.
"Don't act like it's such a bad thing," he shrugged, "I just need favors every now and then. Don't be so overdramatic, spying is overrated." James couldn't smell it, but he could see the disrespect on Amedeus's face, and that emotion alone was one of his major pet peeves.He deserved respect, taking care of things no one else would. Trading in truths. But no matter.
"For being such a nice person, I feel like I should be entitled to some reward. Besides, whatever it is when the time comes, it won't kill you." Because that's how James's world worked. He couldn't afford sympathy. Everything was priced, because that's how it was out in the real world.
[ Comics are hard! Heck, drawin gis hard for me, let alone comics! xD]
James's logic was pretty solid, and comforting. If James didn't care that he was ga.y--that's what Amedeus was calling it now--than maybe others wouldn't. Of coarse, he didn't guarentee people wouldn't care, andthen there was that knot of fear stuck in his stomach...
Amedeus tapped his ci.gar.ett.e, annoyed at James's request. Or rather, his blackmailing. It culd have been worse, but still, the fact that the boy held power of him was enough to make his teeth grit even tighter, smoke leaving his nostrils in short puffs.
"Being such a nice person." Amedeus snorted, shaking his head as he ran a hand through his hair. His ring glinted on his left hand."Right." He took in another drag, letting the smoke calm his lungs, before sighing, leaning against the desk.
"It's not so much the fact that you want me to 'give you favors'." He explained, wrinkling his nose at the thoughts."It's more of a control issue for me."Amedeus paused, staring at him calculatingly. "This is something you can hold against me until I come out, and that is not comforting for me. I'm already taking a risk by trusting you, and now you're bargaining." Amedeus stopped, taking in another drag.
"I admit, it's incredibly shocking--in a good way--that you don't care. That you don't think I'm some mosnter or anything." At this, Amedeus smirked very slightly, a moment of true gratefulness washing over his face, before his expression tightened again."but now you're asking me to use my powers in not the way I would chose to do so? For your benefit?" He asked, his brows raising, before he fully sat on the desk, his ci.gar.att.e gone as he stubbed it out against the table."Is that it?" Amedeus simplifed, his dark stare flickering up to him momentarily.
((Hey, you're a Percy Jackson and the Olympians fan, right? I was thinking about starting a PJatO/HoO themed 1x1, and was wondering if you'd be open to doing it- if you're open to joining another roleplay, that it. :))
James smiled his crocodile grin. Amedeus's screen of smoke really worked in his favor, for once. althought he couldnt tell what the dark boy was feeling, James could well and truly trust himself now. "Ah, but here's the thing. You're not exactly 'trusting' me with anything, since I found out on my own. actually, I'm quite curious- how did you manage to keep your little secret from me for so long?" he mused absentmindedly.
"Your general comfort doesn't really matter a whole lot to me," he admitted candidly, "But what I stand to gain from the matter does." James paused. At this moment, he really did wonder what Amedeus was feeling. Was he disgusted by James's business-like approach to this? Was he thinking about finding a way to slip out?
The word 'monster' caught James, and the savvy grin melted from his lips, into a thin, narrow line. "Monster is not a term you use to describe someone who loves another," he said firmly and decisively, with a trace of bitterness. James had met monsters in his life, and even though he was completely willing to manipulate Amedeus, there was no way he was going to let the other guy even consider the thought that people would think of him as a monster.
The tension passed from his face, replaced by a fleeting look of immense weariness. This was not the relxing day he had in mind. "Yes, Amedeus, that is completely it." James rubbed at his eyes exhaustedly. "I'm an entrepreneur in the trade of information. If you're uncomfortable with it, well, welcome to the real world. It's a very uncomfortable place."
[ Oh yes, I'd be totally open to it! :) ]
James was giving Amedeus a whirlwind of emotions. He didn't know if that was on purpose, or if he was relishing in the emotions he was getting out of him. Nevertheless, his face flushed at James's question, which was actually almost a comical sight; watching Amedeus blush was similar to watching a cheetah walk. You didn't expect it, and when it happened, most were greeted with the feeling to smile back.
"I...I...ah..."Amedeus stammered, rubbing the back of his neck."I usually control my thoughts very well around you. I just ah...slipped, I guess." He brought his hand back down, clasping then together in front of him. Amedeus's bashfulness slowly faded away as James continued to talk.
"Of coarse it doesn't." He murmured, now leaning back on the desk so his hands held him up. James statement of not caring didn't surprise him in the least; but, his next comment did.
His definition of mister was precise and set in stone, making Amedeus blink in surprise. Of all the people in his life, Amedeus never would have expected to feel the relief--or thankfulness--towards James. Actually, it almost made his throat tighten, that James wasn't holding his feelings against him.
Because he understands, or because he truly doesn't care? Amedeus thought to himself, stuck in moment of awe, staring at James. Who knew such a small boy could evoke such strong emotion--positively?
"I know it probably confuses you, why I don't just let everyone know,"He found himself saying, back to clasped hands and staring at them intently."I already don't care about what everyone thinks about me now. This should be nothing."His voice got quieter each word, before the last sentence was uttered in practically a whisper."But I do care about some people's opinions." But as soon as his heartfelt confession was out, Amedeus was back to rolling his eyes at James's next comment.
"The real world?" He echoed back, shaking his head."I know what the 'real world' is James, despite what you may think."It was no secret about Amedeus's past, just showing up at the Marvel School's doorstep, bloodied and hurt with only the knowledge of his name."It's uncomfortable alright, but even more so if you aren't even comfortable with yourself." At least James had that; the confidence within himself, the self assurance of who he was.