I guess I can understand that, We can try for the 28th.
The character looks pretty good and up to standard, just two little things, and one of them I could ignore but I want to adress anyway. 1) How does he have muscular arms to show off? 2) The bio looks a litttle bare. Things to possibly mention are his parents and the developement of his power.
I'm not sure that I understand your first question, Endless. What do you mean by how?
On the second count, I can definitely modify it.
Lol, just saying. People don't automatically have great muscly arms and you never mentioned anything about how he has them. Never said anything about it in explanation.
OMG! My computer's working again.
*Die of joy*
Now I just need to get my files and I'll be updating regularly again :D
Endless: I'm really sorry for getting back to you so late.
My mom doesn't really want me on the computer so much anymore, so I'm not sure I'll be able to do this roleplay. That and I have terrible writer's block :(
Thanks for your patience with me,
Doctorbug. On once a day really isn't on the computer that much. I'd hope you could do this roleplay, although I understand if you don't think you can.
Okay, I'm going to do this. Though, I'll to have to slim back on some of my other computer activity. But I'm going to do this.
Could you wait a little longer for that character profile, though? I have writer's block...
That's fine, doctorbug.
Okay, I got the file, I got the file! I'm so excited XD. Just let me know if it passes or needs tweaking or whatever.
~ Hero Skeleton ~
Name: Keisha Wonder
Appearance: Keisha Wonder is a short and well built African girl of 4'6" with unblemished dark olive skin. Her black, squiggly hair puffs up around her heart shaped face and comes down to bounce around her slender shoulders. Keisha has slightly slanted brown eyes that are squinting in censure a good deal of the time, thin angled eyebrows—one of which is a little higher than the other because she raises it critically so much, a small, petite nose, and an average sized mouth that's often mildly twisted in a cynical sneer. Keisha's jaw is only ever set in a demeanor of resolve, and she has a generally curvy figure from there down.
Clothing: Keisha's general attire consists of white cotton turtleneck shirts that cast her already dark skin even darker, navy blue martial arts pants that overlap tightly laced brown hiking boots, and a pair of square diamond stud-earrings. This is what she is wearing at the beginning of the RP. At first glance you would see just your average outfit, but at second you would notice everything she wears is less than a year old and in top-notch condition, having obviously been bought from upscale stores. Keisha generally likes to wear only smart and professional clothing and she almost never let's her daily dress get out of hand. She has a pair of white framed sunglasses she likes to hang on to wherever she goes and when in need of hair-things (which she doesn't like), she just sticks the glasses on top of her head. Keisha has a few other gadgets, like a cellphone and music player that she carries around.
Personality: Keisha doesn't care about much. If anything, she's a very depressed girl. Even though she could have anything she wanted, she finds no joy in things, big or small. It is very seldom to hear her laugh or cry or express any particular emotion except cynicism and contempt. She wasn't always like this. Early on in life, she tried out all sorts of things; anything money could buy. Having been born to very rich, materialistic parents, Keisha got anything and everything she wanted. At first she loved it. After a while though, she lost interest in just about everything she tried, floating from one thing to the next. Everything was too easy to get, and nothing really seemed to matter in the long run. Life turned grey. For this reason she has taken the more cold and distant approach to life, that of logic, as she considers it to be the only “perfect” and “true” thing. Keisha has a way of looking down on people who have not yet “realized” that life is bleak, as she has done. She considers those that run on emotions and find joy in things self-deluded. In a way, you could say that her condescending attitude of labeling others as “unenlightened” is her own self-justification for having locked herself inside. Even so, she resents those who have succeeded, unlike her, in finding purpose. Despite Keisha's outlook on life, the universe and everything, she is not very passive. It may occasionally appear that she is taking some illegal substance, but otherwise, it's quite obvious that she is human turned vulcan. But however much she'd like to pretend, Keisha is still just a kid at heart, and if there's one thing that she knows 100%, it's that she doesn't know everything 100%.
Bio: In the short time that Keisha Wonder has lived, not much has happened. She is the only child of a very wealthy couple living in the “rich quarter” of New York City. Her early childhood was on an large estate in rural New York, one that her mother had inherited from her grandmother and later on when her father got into business, the family moved to New York where they bought an expensive penthouse. Keisha was never sent to any mainstream schools, but instead was offered a private education by a hired tutor, especially in that of biology and the maths, something her father thought would be helpful in procuring her a position at a medical school. Reading and Art were always difficulties for Keisha to overcome and after two more years trying her best at it, her latest tutor let her give up—withe Mr. Wonder's permission of course. However, she does find some joy, if minimal, in music, logic, statistics and math. After passing her fourteenth birthday, Keisha began to lose touch with life. She couldn't understand why so many people were attached to material things, including herself. She came to realize the “truth” of life. In her mind all things passed away and left nothing to be valued in their wake. In desperation to find a less bleak outlook, Keisha started investigating and trying everything that other people, when asked, said gave them purpose and understanding. She studied other people's relationships regarding “love”, and got into a couple relationships herself, but she found that road to ultimately be pointless. She already tried “doing something greater than herself” with following her father's plans of her becoming a surgeon, but that helped none. She tried “spiritual stuff”, it didn't work out that well. She even considered doing drugs at one time, but even that had no point to it other that to escape from having no point, and that was just ridiculous. Keisha finally found her “way out” through dedicating herself to one thing. The happiness and well being of her father. If she couldn't be happy herself, she'd make sure he was. Keisha's not sure why she does it, she just does.
Mutations: um...she doesn't move her eyes much, as she doesn't use them to see. I suppose you can call that a sort of mutation?
Abilities: Keisha has what one might call “X-Ray Vision”. When pushed to it's limits, her ability can allow her total awareness of her immediate surroundings (up to fifty feet). She will know the atomic/chemical composition, as well as temperature and other sorts of characteristics of all physical objects (and people) in a spherical radius around her (that includes underground). This ability can be channeled so she can have awareness of far more distant places (how far is unknown), however, when she does this, she will not be able to “see” her immediate surroundings, and afterward, it is very possible she'll black out if pushed too far.
Weaknesses: In the past when Keisha has tried to expand the horizons of her power beyond her very immediate surroundings, she became extremely disoriented, especially because of the amount of concentration needed to do it. After a while she ceased trying to explore her ability. She know keeps her “vision” to a radius of ten feet. Reading has always been very difficult but not impossible for Keisha, as she cannot see color. Sometimes she get's extremely bad headaches at random times, though whether or not this is connected to her power is unknown.
Position: Not very interested, but I suppose if you blackmailed her (according to control notes), she'd comply with whatever.
Other: Keisha doesn't like water. It is very “uncomfortable” to find herself submersed in the substance.
~ File ~
First Name: Keisha
Last Name: Wonder
Address: ----------------------------- (leave as it is)
Height: 4 feet, 6 inches
Weight: 98 lbs
Race: African American
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: black
Hair Length: falls down to her shoulders but stops shy of them.
Hair Type: frizzy, thick. Really puffed up around her head.
Family: Dad – Oliver Wonder (sorta close), Mom – Eleanor Wonder (not very close).
Records: Well, I suppose they could watch her for “x-ray” vision. Though I have no idea how GHOST (or whoever) would know if she uses it for disreputable purposes or not. Otherwise, she's got nothing on her record.
Control Notes: Let me see...threatening her person won't do much good, unless you were to like tell her you'd lock her up in solitary and force her to stare at the same wall for the rest of her existence. However, threatening her dad (or mom, as her mom is important to her dad) should about do it. She doesn't care much about his business empire or whatever, but she has considered it her “purpose” (her only purpose) to make sure his well being is taken care of. Keisha's Axiom: Make sure dad is okay.
Mutations: Appearance of Blindness
Abilities: X-Ray Vision
Weaknesses: Nausea and Disorientation
My apologies, I was being talked at from a billion directions and lost focus. I can't read the profile through at the moment, but I will read it and approve/judge it at some point tonight or tomorrow.
I know the feeling, and sure, no rush :)
Here's the updated skellie for Alex, Endless. I fleshed his lifestory out a bit.
Name: Alexander Brewer
Appearance: Alex is five feet, ten inches tall, minus about half a centimeter. His body is of average build. He’s tall, tan, and muscular. His eyes are a pale sky blue. Shaggy blonde hair barely reaches past the tips of his ears, but it dips low on his forehead in the front. When his thin lips open, they reveal a set of straight, white teeth.
Clothing: He begins wearing a white tank top, black shorts, and white running shoes. He can usually be seen in his running shoes, as he does like to run. When he’s not wearing shorts, he’s usually in a pair of baggy jeans. He nearly always wears tank tops that show off his muscular arms.
Personality: Alex, by nature, is a musician. He grew up playing the piano, like his older sister had always done. She raised him for a good portion of his childhood and he looks up to her as a mother figure instead of his actual mother. Whenever he’s angry, depressed, happy, or sad, whatever emotion he’s feeling, he needs to express it through his music. He can often be heard singing about everything for no reason at all. In addition to music, he also enjoys sports. Basketball, football, and swimming are Alex’s favorite sports, and he did all three in high school.
Bio: Alex was pretty much raised by his older sister Natalia in the heart of Manhattan. The two still live together in an apartment in the city, though they aren’t necessarily financially secure. He never met his father, or even knew who he was. His mother was the type of woman to sleep around, so even she never knew for sure who her children’s fathers were. She died when he was eleven and his then-eighteen-year-old half-sister began to care for him. He and Natalia have three older half-brothers from their mom, but the men never bothered to have anything to do with Alex or Natalia. He may or may not have half-siblings by his father.
Abilities: Alex can control his molecular density to allow him to become superstrong or pass through solid objects.
Weaknesses: The drawback is that in order to change his molecular density, he must also change his molecular size. If, for example, he wants to phase a wall, he must grow slightly larger in order to decrease his density.
Position: Interested (And relieved to have a place to turn)
About spacing, everyone:
I've actually found it very helpful to copy everything to a blank NotePad file first and then recopy it into the TI blank before posting.
I've never had horrible formatting when I do that.
It looks mostly okay, although there are things to change. For one, you haven't described in the bio about her powers surfacing, and if you could add that I'd much appreciate it. Also, in her file, everything looks good up until Family and after. This needs to look like a file, not someone describing. For family, based off of things known, they would consider her simply 'close' to her father. The words I, me, and my or anything else of the sort aren't acceptable. In records something more short and proffessional is needed, such as 'No notable information on this subject'. Control notes does not need the process of elimination. Something more along the lines of 'Subject shows closeness and dedication to father and appears to care for his wellbeing' and that would be a starting point. Beyond that, everything else looks pretty okay. Just a summary:
Power developement in Bio, Father relationship more professional, Records more professional, and Control notes more professional.
That looks better, thank you. I believe you're ready to do a file.
Wait, let me get this straight:
The charrie's power does not "surface" until puberty? Or is the power allways there, but only get's strong at puberty? I was assuming the latter.
But yeah, sure I'll do all that :)
Well, let me explain it like this. It's always in your DNA, but it needs a trigger to become noticed and 'surface'. Puberty is the usual trigger, but life and death situations can cause the trigger as well, because the power might just save their life.