"What if I just jumped out this window?" Nathanael finally said aloud, glaring down at the concrete so many stories below. "It's not like anybody would care, right?" Of course not. He glanced back at Reid; of course that guy wouldn't care. Looking outside again, he dug through his pockets and found a razor blade. He held it out for a moment, watching the sunlight glint off of it, then dropped it, watching it fall and hearing the tiny metallic clink when it hit the pavement.
Olivia looked up when Nathaneal saud he wanted to jump out of the windiw. She didn't want him to jump, if he jumped she'd see him die. She swallowed remembering her siser's body, Olivia had found her sister lying on her bed at 3:00 in the morning. Olivia had tried to wake her up, but her sister hadn't responded. Olivia shuddered think of that day. She slowly formed words in her head, trying to figure out something to say, her panic rising, making it hard to spit the words out. What if he just laughed at her? What if he jumped anyway?
"Don'-'ump." she mumbled all in one breath.
Reid heard Nathaneal speculating about jumping out the window. He looked back at his nails. The boy could jump for all he cared, he didn't know him that well why would he be effected?
Nathanael studied Olivia for a moment. She didn't want him to jump? Why would it matter to her, anyway? But she didn't seem to like talking much, and for her to have actually talked to him at all must've meant something, right? "I wasn't going to..." he assured very quietly. "Sometimes it seems like a good idea, though, doesn't it?" To him, anyway.
Olivia sort of nodded, the only times she'd ever considered sui.cide was right after her sister died and when she was too drunk to even remember her own name. She looked at the clock, just then the couselor came in,
"Lun'h." she siad. Olivia slung her legs over the sill again and jumped down onto the floor. She glanced at Nathaneal to see if he was coming, hope he wouldn't decide to jump as soon as the room cleared or something.
Reid stood up and walke dtowards the mess hall, he had his hands shoved into his pocket and his face wore it's normal placid, impossible to , I-don't-care expression. HE calmed himself down and now realized how hungry he was. So he quickened his pace and got in first for the line at te mess hall.
Nathanael didn't even look back at everyone, instead keeping his gaze outside. He was hungry, but honestly didn't feel like eating at the moment. But that didn't matter.
What if he really did jump?
The thought kept crossing his mind, and he sighed; should he? Should he not? For once, he was eerily silent, only arguing with himself mentally.
Olivia tugged nervously at her necklace when Nathatneal didn't come. She didn't want to leavewhat if he jumped? It'd be her fault for not staying here and watching him. She glanced at the door, hoping the counselor would be there, but no, no one was there. Olivia turned back to Nathaneal and continued to watch him.
Nathanael noticed Olivia's reflection in the glass and turned to look at her, trying a smile, but sort of failing at a happy expression. "You can go eat, you know. No need to starve just to watch me." Although, honestly, having company was nice. Even if that company hardly said a word. He tried to make his smile a little more convincing so she wouldn't worry. "Don't worry. I'm just going to stay here for a bit."
Olivia felt a mood swing come, he was trying to get rid of her! He didn't want her around! She looked at her shoes irratabley, well if he didn't want her to stay she wa sgoing, if not to just be contrary. She got back up on the sill and sat on, her back pressed to one sid, her cross on her chest, she made it very clear with her posture and body language that she wasn't budging. She had legs slung up on the sill, her knees bent slighly.
Nathanael couldn't help but smile at her attitude; so childish! Like a pouty little girl... But hey, she was company. "Well, if you're okay with starving..." he muttered, still smirking. But that faded as he began to worry. What if she got hungry? Would that be his fault? He nervously ran a hand through his hair, studying her. "If you're staying, should I get you something to eat..? I don't want you hungry..."
"I ain't hungry." Olivia muttered to him. She glanced outside and back at a nervous Nathaneal. She allowed one hand to wander to her necklace and her fingers fiddled with her beads, she like dteh different textures under enath her small fingers as she allowed her fingers to play over the designs on the beads, she didn't take her eyes off Nathaneal, ehwas not going to jump. It wasn't like she cared about him, she'd just made up her mind thats he didn't want him to jump becuase she didn't want to be responsible for his death. She also didn'tw ant to see another dead body.
"Are you sure?" Nathanael fretted, like Olivia was a little sister or something. "Absolutely positive? 'Cause I can go get you something..." Ugh. Shouldn't she be eating? Hopefully she wasn't the type of girl that hardly ever ate as part of their 'diet.' He sighed and tried to calm himself down, looking out the window again.
Olivia shook her head, she wasn't very hngry, maybe a little hungry, but she had to do was think of how unappietizing her breakfast had looked or the otehr meals she'd ate here had looked and she was magiclly no longer hungry.
She furrowed her brow as she looked at him. She'd never seen that look on anyone's face before. Was he worried? About her? Nope, that was impossible, maybe he had someone at home he was worrying about. She looked out the window and down at the concrete below, once again think about how nasty it'd be if someone went splat onto the parking lot.
Reid sat down in the corner of the room where he could watch people easily and started to wolf down his chili and hot dog and other food. He took quik sips of his soda in between bites.
Nathanael let out a deep breath, closing his eyes as he leaned his head against the window frame. The fresh air felt amazing, fluttering his hair a little. And the sunshine was warm. "I wish we could go outside... I could show you my favorite place in the park. Right beside the water..." He trailed off, smiling faintly as he opened his eyes again, staring out at the horizon.
What park? Olivia thought, she'd never actually been in this town, the first time she'd been here is when CPS drove her here. She felt lost and lonely here becuase she didn't recognize any landmarks, or any places here. She peeked out of the window at scenery up here. They were in the tallest building, or one of the tallest.
"Can't see it from here," Nathanael said with a shrug, "But it's better up-close anyway. So much fresh air, all those birds singing... And there's hardly ever anyone there, surprisingly. Which doesn't make much sense to me. Why wouldn't people want to go somewhere that's beautiful, right?" He sighed, blushing when he realised that he was starting to get carried away. "Sorry. I talk too much, in case you haven't noticed."
Olivia just nodded she fiddled with her beads. She was almost glad they were missing lunch. Missing lunch meant she didn't to deal with the crowds of people in the cafeeteria. She'd never been good with crowds, they'd always freaked her out. Too many people, too much noise, too much chance to be hurt.
Nathanael smiled slightly while he watched her play with those pretty beads. Olivia would like his place in the park, he was sure of it. It was just as colourful as her beads. "We should go there sometime," he murmured, partly to himself, because he wasn't sure she was even listening to his continuous noise.
Olivia nodded absently again,
"Sometime." she mumble din agreement.
She was actually thinking about the last place she and her family had been together. It'd been in Maine, up by Canada, but near teh caost too. She'd like dit up there, the ocean's constant crashing on the beach, her room with colorful bead hanging on the walls, over the door which had broken so teh beads were pretty much her only way of having privacy. She remember her small, old, breif case sized chest that she'd kept all her beads in and her strings, Everything was organzed just so. She stared at her fingers, wishing she could have something to drink, her parents hadn't had any rules about drinking at ehr house, she did, ate, and drank what she wanted. That's why CPS had told her they brought here, becuase she was ddicted and it was wrong. But she didn't think it was wrong, her parents had taught her to drink, why woul dthey etach her wrong?
Olivia seemed a little distracted, so Nathanael kept his mouth shut. He didn't want to annoy her while she was thinking or whatever. Still, he itched for someone to talk to - about anything - and keeping quiet was proving to be difficult. Ugh. Usually, his drinks would calm him down, shut him up. But he wasn't allowed to have them anymore. Stupid counselor.
Olivia glanced at teh suddenly silent Nathaneal and then back at her fingers. She was jittery, she wanted to drink, to calm down and no longer this axious, panic induced knot in her stomach. She thought fro a few moments, if she couldn't drink she ha dto settle for teh next best thing; beads and strings. She slung off the window sill. She looked at Nathaneal wodnering if he'd like to see her other beads. She stared back down at her hands again, she'd never had a friend adn never been able to hold mor ethan a few second conversation, she looke dat at Nathaneal. Her hands started to shake worse becuase she was almost panicking she was so nervous.