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Dearly in need of feedback WILL HELP YOU IN RETURN!!!!!!!!

MelodyPond445This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. posted this thread...
Apr. 5, 2013 at 2:29 am

In class we had to write a moment in our lives that had changed us forever. My entire life I never believed in love till this very moment described. This changed the way I saw relationships and love forever. I has trouble writing the ending so if any one has ideas to change it (or any other part) that would be greatly appreciated. I also need a new title. Currently its called "The First Grip on Love". Its all i could think off so if any name stands out to you please share. Oh and if you need help editing just send a comment and a link So here goes...
I had spent hours this morning planning my outfit to perfection. I had tried on countless combinations of dresses heels and cardigans. But at this very moment I really just wish I was wearing something, anything, else. I felt really jealous of the other schools that were there because it seemed that the nice concert attire rule had only been extended to our school. As I walked awkwardly to a seat I felt even more exposed though the only part of my skin showing was my head and hands. I sat down in the ugly purple seats I was exhilarated. Although I loved the orchestra I had rarely ever seen one in person because the rest of my family did not share my love of classical music. The lights dimmed and the curtain drew open and almost instantly the awkward feelings and worries were swept away by a warm wave of music. I lost myself in the bright happy sound of the violins and the dark mystic sound of the deep cellos. I was swimming in a fantastic pool of Beethoven when I felt something. Something other than music. I had almost forgotten that there was anything other than music. I was suddenly swept back into reality but still unaware of what had brought me out. I had been a small movement to my left. My friend James was to my left. Why had a small movement of his distract me so much? I turned back to the music. The story the music was trying to tell was changing quickly from a light airy melody to a dark stormy sound. I could imagine the story that Beethoven was telling me as though he hadn’t been dead for a long time and was in my brain paining me the picture.  The story was building and building and building. Then a movement again to my left. This was starting to get annoying. Couldn’t James just stay still for one moment? But I still couldn’t figure out why this was bothering me so much. Lots of people were moving around. Some much more than James but it was his movements that were distracting me. Then a crazy idea came to me. Was he trying to hold my hand? This thought was crazy because James was my friend. We had spent months scolding people who made any remark that we would be perfect for each other. People just couldn’t understand that a boy and a girl can be friends without it being…. Romantic. Unlike most girls dating was the last thing that I wanted. I had seen my mom and my sisters and my best friend be hurt too many times by harsh break ups or guys that didn’t deserve them to want to try it out myself. The only things that came from dating were break up and heart break and end. If I could be lucky enough to avoid it for the rest of my life I would. So then why did I think James was trying to hold my hand? It’s not like I wanted him to. But a small minuscule part in the back of my brain said I wouldn’t mind if he did. And that scared me. I quickly tried to bring myself back to the sweet music. But my curiosity was refusing to let me run away from James small movements. I tried to reason with myself that the chance he did want to hold my hand was so small it was almost impossible. He is my friend. He is my friend. He is my friend. It had become sort of a chant in my head. HE IS JUST MY FRIEND. Then the minuscule romantic part of my brain tried to fight back with reason. If he is just your friend then do a little test and see how he responds. It said I would do it unless I wasn’t brave enough. So I did. I moved my hand over to the side of my chair. Easily in James’ reach and sight. Haha see he didn’t move. That’s not what he wants. At least not from me. I couldn’t tell if I was more relived or disappointed by his reaction. Wait. Is James moving? The back of his hand touched mine and set my skin on fire. It seemed that every nerve where his skin came in contact with mine was going insane. Just 10 more seconds of crazy stupid bravery. That’s all I need. But what if it’s a trap? A mistake? What if he didn’t mean to touch me hand? I don’t want to ruin our friendship- STOP BEING SUCH A CHICKEN. JUST DO IT. So I did. I put my hand right on top of his. I couldn’t be more obvious now of what I wanted. And two minutes ago I didn’t even know that I wanted it. If someone would have told me that I, Alex Slapinski, would want to do something even the slightest “romantic” I would have called them crazy. I had no idea where this was coming from. When James hesitated I was worried that I had ruined everything. But my troubled mind was calm for a minute as he placed his hand in mine. I was holding hands. With a boy. In public. The music of the orchestra almost seemed to have know what a triumphant victory had just happened 50 rows from the stage because the music had changed into exactly what my heart had been thinking. It was none other than Beethoven’s 5th otherwise known as Ode to Joy. My brain started drowning in questions. Did this mean we were dating? Would I have to kiss him? What will my friends think? Did I have to now deal with drama like other girls? But I told my brain to shut up. And for once… it listened. I let myself get swallowed into the music while my heart was filled with a never ending joy and a rush of excitement. I had for once let myself be vulnerable. And I was paid off with a happiness that I was sure was going to last. Not forever I still knew. But at least now I knew that I could have this rush of happiness. The last songs were played and the lights were brought back on but I was still holding onto James. I wouldn’t let this end. Not now. Not ever. Not if I had a say in it. 

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