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Anyone Need Critiques?

carolinestarr posted this thread...
Mar. 23, 2013 at 11:40 pm

Send me your pece and I'll be happy to read it and critique it for you. :)

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Mar. 23, 2013 at 11:55 pm

you will seriously regret offering that in about three minutes.
but since you asked....
here's a poem i wrote. usually i'm much more down to earth then that, my poems are usually less flowery and philosiphical, so i was always embarrassed to show it to people.
but the great thing about internet is that you don't know me, i don't know you, and as long as your not a creepy internet stalker, i think i can trust you with this weird poem of mine.
 
Lalalalalalalala.

 This is a nothing poem.
It’s about
Hum-di-dum
  Nothing.
Or maybe it’s
About everything.
  Could be this
Poem holds the secrets
Of life
  In it’s verses.
 
Sdklgjas;ldkgjlasjdg.
  Decode that.
If you can,
   Then either you
Have figured out
      What makes the world
Tick;
      Or, the more likely: you
 are crazy.
       
  Am I crazy?
What am I?
  Everything?
                     Nothing?
  What if my whole
Life is a
Dream?
 

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Literature_DarlingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 24, 2013 at 7:07 pm

If you go to my page I would love for you to read my newest piece, "100 People" 
Thanks a million
 

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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 24, 2013 at 11:55 pm

Could ya read my poem Daniel?


I'm Jade :)

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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 24, 2013 at 11:56 pm

^^ lol. EbraceURawesomeness, you are crazy :)

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carolinestarr replied...
Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:10 pm

This is pretty good. I actually wrote a poem somewhat similar to this once, but I had no idea how to finish it. I can't tell if the "Lalalalalalala" is part of the poem, but it should be. Haha :) Also, the lines "Could be this/Poem holds the secrets" are kind of confusing. It sounds like maybe you left out some words? Or put them in the wrong order? I understand what you are trying to say, it just sounds very very awkward and I had to read it over a few times. 
Also, the last three lines don't feel like they fit with the rest of the poem. They are so deep. The rest of the poem is kind of deep, kind of silly. But then all of a sudden- BAM! What is life? Do you get whatI mean? I hope so. Haha. Other than those few things, it's really a very good peom. I like it a lot. 

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carolinestarr replied...
Mar. 25, 2013 at 3:14 pm

Wait, no, I'm so confused about how this is supposed to work. My last comment was for EbraceURaewsomeness. Haha

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JettaWintryThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:58 pm

I'd greatly appreciate any feedback you're open to give! Don't worry about me if you don't have time. (:

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Anathema-EquinoxThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 27, 2013 at 12:59 pm

TeenInk.com/forums?act=post&topic_id=17&thread_id=73798
Can you please comment on this

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E.J.Mathews replied...
Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:19 pm

Could you read my article "The Inedible School Lunch"?

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MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 28, 2013 at 4:01 pm

I'd appreciate your feedback on any of my works. reviews or poems or both. Doesn't matter. You'll make my day.

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Makala replied...
Apr. 8, 2013 at 6:32 pm

Please read haunted (TeenInk.com/nonfiction/personal_experience/article/539284/Haunted/)

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Apr. 10, 2013 at 8:24 pm

i just figured out a very important fact, guys.
i discovered that in order to know if people replied to your reply, you have to actually go back to the thread, it doesn't just pop up for you.
so here i am, finally discovering that someone enjoyed my crazy poem.
thank you CarolineStarr, and RarelyJaded, thanks too... (i think?)

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OldYoungOne replied...
Apr. 12, 2013 at 3:08 pm

I love this poem lol I like the humor in it greatly made me smile when I finished reading
 

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OldYoungOne replied...
Apr. 12, 2013 at 3:10 pm

I would appreciate it if you read my poems and non fiction on my page. Thanks a thousand!

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Cutey-Beauty replied...
Apr. 16, 2013 at 7:21 am

TeenInk.com/fiction/realistic_fiction/article/537494/Becoming-Someone/
If you could read that, or any of my other work, It will make my day :)

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Cutey-Beauty replied...
Apr. 16, 2013 at 7:22 am

If you could read/rate/comment on any of my things, especially "Becoming Someone", it will make my day :) thanks!

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LexiDawn replied...
Apr. 20, 2013 at 10:10 am

I have 3 pieces. Alzheimer's, All is Forgiven, and Harry Potter Obsession. You can read those if you would like to. I appreciate feedback/comments/rates.(: 
I also have two poems soon to be accepted.

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swat17 replied...
Apr. 25, 2013 at 4:30 pm

Can you rate and comment on my Educator of the year piece title "Stacy Hallmark, English, Louisa county High School"? Thanks!

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