Teen Ink

writerauter posted this thread...

call me bad words
say im not worth it
push me away
say your sorry
but never change
cuss me out
just because your upset
tell me im nothing
then when i brake down
when i am crying
tell me you were only kidding
say i cant take a joke
cut me down so much
that i dont even know
who i am anymore
then suddenly i remember
who i am, is who you've made me
 
i am a nothing
i am worthless
i cant do anything right
cant take a joke
cant love you right
im not skinny enough
always ruining your day
i am all those things
but the thing you never say
the thing that you hide deep down
is the real reason
you act like this
the real reason
you say these things
is because these things
were first said to you.
 
hold my hand
but pull me around
never hug me
expect me to know
what you want
make fun of me
because i am
afraid of the bedroom
your excuse is always
"i am having a bad day"
or "i am tierd"
when you walk away
i feel my heart
braking in two
when i see you
punching the wall
inside i crumble
i realize that
i really care about you
i know that you are struggling
that you feel so out of control
that you have to
be in control
in charge of me
i understand the rage
i see inside of you
when you yell at me
i cant look at you
i hide my face
and feel the tears
fall down like rain
why cant you love me.
 
i take a deep breath
try and erase
everything you said
out of my mind
but i cant
so i will forever
know who i am
i...am who you made me.
i hope someday
you will let yourself be loved
by someone...anyone
so that you can
learn to love yourself
and learn to love someone as well.
 
other people tell me
that that stuff isnt true
but i cant belive them
because it wasnt only you
who said i am those things
im sorry that i couldnt be
good enough for you
or....for anybody.
but i am trying..to do better.
i hope that someday
you will too.