It’s my Senior year of high school and, at this very moment, I’m supposed to be doing Sociology homework. I don’t know why I stopped, but I do know that I had this crazy thought; “It’s my last year of high school”. I don’t know what the natural reaction to this statement should be but, I guess mine went all crazy philosophical.
I’m an over-thinker.
I’m an avid worrier.
And suddenly the statement, “I’ve done absolutely nothing with my life”, popped up.
I’m not sure how other people live their current high school careers but mine has sucked... I think. I can’t say that I’ve truly let anyone know me. Purely out of fear, I suppose. That’s another thing about me; I’m quite vain. I care way too much about what other think of me and it’s gotten me to the point where I’m typing this small…whatever you call it, onto Teen Ink.
I can’t say I’ve had a mass amount of boyfriends. My love life is currently inexistent.
As are my;
-S e x stories
-Epic P C P and a c i d trips
-Ma riju ana use
-“Passed out on your couch and puked on your dog” memory
-Voted “Most fashionable” trophy
-4.0 GPA average
And; so-on and so-forth.
I read for fun. I drink tea and listen to indie rock bands. I watch documentaries. I wear chunky sweaters because my body temperature likes to keep me freezing for some stupid reason. And, I adore cats.
I think I’m more relatable to 94.5 year old women than my current age of 17.
I can’t say I have that super close, tight knit group of friends that do tight knit, super close friends’ type of s h i t stuff. I have maybe one of those. Considering she lives about a million states away; I guess that considers me a loner. Eh?
I guess what I’m trying to say is; It really sucks when you finally realize the “Best four years of your life”, aren’t really the best four years of your life. They’re the “The four years of your life you spent on the computer listening to music, making stupid decisions, caring way too much about what others think of you, when it’s gotten you absolutely no where”.
Yeah. That sums up my high school career.
I don’t mean to sound depressing but, it all actuality; I can’t say it was all bad.
-Fell in love
-Got my first job
-Realized tea is absolutely remarkable when it’s raining
-Discovered a new-found love for The Smiths
-Found out that I’m not the only girl who’s never seen “The Notebook”
-Know what it truly feels like to love someone
-To “live and let-go”
-Am not the only one with a sick sense of humor
And; wrote this essay thing that I feel no one will actually read.
It’s pretty great.
Is it weird to say that I cried reading this?
I just started high school and no one will talk about it. Adults will call it the "best 4 years of your life" and teenagers will shrug it off. Thanks for making me understand, well, I don't know: EVERYTHING. I can't tell you how much your practically perfect writing is helping me. We are actually quite alike by what you wrote above. Also, your style of writing is smooth and casual at the same time. I LOVE it because I can relate; I can sort of feel the truth in the lists and the humor when it is supposed to be slightly comical in sense. Well done!
I logged onto my email (Yeah...I requested that Teen Ink email me when someone replies to my writings. Judge me.) and saw your comment.
I didn't really think anyone would read this considering that:
1) People can't be bothered to read anything above 10 sentences.
2) I thought this article sucked.
I'm actually really happy you raed this and, for the record, I think it's pretty amazing that you cried.
Thanks so much because you, legit, made my night.
Anytime you want to talk about high school or whatever, don't hesitate. Thanks alot, man.
hahaha wow!!!!!! i actually LOVED this!!!!! for some reason it was giving me a "perks of being a wallflower" kinda vibe, u have amazing voice! This was really cool and fun to read, I'd read any of your books